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View Full Version : Relapsed on my intrusive thoughts. Possible POCD?



constantbattle
31-08-17, 15:31
Hey everyone, I am 21, male, I was diagnosed with anxiety since I turned 18. I tend to get anxiety in situations where my moral compass is challenged, for example, if I do something wrong I get anxiety and I start to kind of put myself down to an extent. Most of the times the things I do wrong are on accident and aren’t really things I should beat myself up about, but I do. I don’t do this always, just in very specific situations. I went to seek therapy and It helped me out a lot. I go to therapy, I feel better, and I go months to a year without attending therapy until somethings triggers it and resurfaces my anxiety. Most of the time I can handle it and it brushes away, but there are times where I have had to return. When I get my anxiety, I obsess over the thoughts of what I did, and I go over and over in my head on how the situation went and over analyze everything. I think of what I did and what was going through my head and how I could have fixed it, and I view myself as bad person etc.
That was a little background on my anxiety. About a year and a half ago I was at a family party, hanging out with family and friends. There was a piņata around and the children went around to hit it, and once it broke everyone ran for candy including myself. I grabbed some candy and a little girl who was 9 who I knew, came up to me and wanted to trade a piece of her candy for mine, and I said of course so we did the trade and she walked away. As she was walking away I looked down and noticed her butt, and noticed how it didn’t look like a butt that normal children have, it had the characteristics of something of someone with more age and I don’t know what happened but I felt something down in my groin and I let it happen and flexed it and then jokingly in my head I said “oh, damn that girl has a butt, huh” and I remember kind of laughing in my head after I said that because it was just me being stupid. I've done this before whenever I see a butt from an attractive women and this time I don’t know why I did it, I honestly was just being stupid doing this. I had no desire to go pursue this girl and do anything with her, but then I gave it some more thought and I thought to myself, why did I do that? Why did I think that? And I began to panic and stress out. I felt disgusted. I tried to tell myself "hey calm down, don't think about this too much", but I couldn't. I had never ever in my life had looked at a kid like that. Never had any desire to pursue kids. I love older women, women my age. I’ve only every fantasized about women, and only have ever been attracted to them as well. I’ve never wanted to touch a child or have anything sexual with them, which is why this kills me. I went to therapy for it and I managed to push through it and got better. I went a year and half without giving it any thought. Since that had happened I would look at kids and I wouldn’t view them sexually or anything, I was the old me, it was like that instant never happened. There was no desire. But now the thoughts have resurfaced again and I am remembering what happened and I am stressing out and panicking. I hate myself for what I thought and did. I question why I felt that groin thing when I saw her butt and why I flexedit as if I would for an older women. I can’t seem to forgive myself. I hate myself for letting that happen. I regret every thinking that even if it wasn’t trying to do anything with her. It just disgusts me that this happened. I don’t like children, thinking about their parts or having any sexual thoughts about them right now gives me the chills and I can’t picture myself doing anything with them. But I hate myself for viewing her butt and feeling some sort of attraction for it. I don’t understand why it happened. I tell myself that maybe it was because it was a butt that sort of reminded me of an older woman’s butt, because I am attracted to smaller butts on women my age. During that moment I was only thinking of her butt and not the kid itself because even after It happened I remember trying to feel what I felt with the little girl and I couldn’t I was grossed out. I just don’t know what to do, I’m searching for answers, is this my anxiety messing with me, or am I a bad sick person? I feel like a pedo/monster.

constantbattle
01-09-17, 01:13
anybody? :/

Scaldris
01-09-17, 17:23
It's only OCD in my opinion, you wouldn't stress about it if it wasn't OCD.We all have thoughts, you said You were joking to yourself then you were.There is no hidden meaning or so, this is just OCD.

constantbattle
02-09-17, 00:08
thanks for your reply, I really appreciate it. But yeah I try to tell myself that but it happened so long ago that I start to forget how it happened and I know for a fact the thing about me saying "oh, damn that girl has a butt, huh" was a joke but what about the feeling in my groin? I flexed it when I felt the feeling in my groin but I don't remember if it was a joke or not. I don't remember if it was forced or if I really did feel something when I saw the child. What if that part wasn't a stupid thing/joke to feel/do? I try to tell myself that if what I felt down there was genuine then I would feel it every time I'd look at another child, but I don't. I have never ever had that feeling again prior to that moment or after that... To this day now the thought of viewing a kid sexually is just a no. Before my relapse I ran into children with similar characteristics and I felt no attraction, no desire, yet I keep looking for an explanation to why it happened. Is it cause deeply inside I am a disgusting monster? Ugh I hate myself just thinking about this.

Scaldris
02-09-17, 15:19
You shuld read back your post. It's clear that it's ocd. :) In my opinion when you joked, you thought about the time when you thought this but with adult women, that's why you felt something, because you actually had that in mind, not the child.At least thats how I see it.
Listen, feelings and thoughts all come and go, it didn't happen again, you find it disgusting then why would you like it?Agree with your thoughts, repeat them, you will see how ridiculous they are. This technique helped me out of HOCD. :)
Stay strong, good luck.:)

constantbattle
02-09-17, 16:38
Thanks for respoding again, like I said I really appreciate it. I know I sound so repetitive, but when my anxiety kicks in I feel so crazy and disgusting and it gets the best of me. I get what your saying to me, but The thing is the groing thing and when I flexed it, came first and then the thing that I said about the kid "oh, damn that girl has a butt, huh" came right after. That part forsure I know I was joking. But I don't remember if the groin thing was an actual feeling or if it was just all part of me having a stupid thought and it was forced. That's the thing I'm stuck on. I keep feeling guilty and beating myself up because I think to myself if I actually did feel something in my groin then I must have liked it and I feel disgusted. So I try to find an explanation on to why it might have happened. Could it have been cause it had similar characteristics to the butts I find attractive in adult woman and I just made the connection in my head and that's why that happened? Because like I said, before or after this moment I know I have ran into children with the same characterisitc and I felt nothing, no desire, no sexual attraction. The only thing keeping me sane is the fact that I never felt anything before or after that moment for kids. But even though I don't feel that way towards them, it kills me inside that there is a point in my life where I might have felt that way and that disgusts me and puts so much guilt on my shoulders. I have my moments where I move past it and I feel happy but then I remember this moment and my happiness goes away and J feel like a monster.

Scaldris
03-09-17, 11:52
I still think it was a part of your joke in that moment.It never happened again, so why would your thoughts be true if you are even disgusted?You are looking for reassurance here, that's OCD.
Sometimes it's soo real, when my HOCD was strong I just thought it's real, it just felt real, even if my feelings were the exact opposite of what HOCD wanted me to believe, I just didn't kow who I was anymore at some point
.So, my point is that, even if you know it's not true, with OCD, it will still feel like it is. My OCD now wandered to other subject, sometimes it's really real, sometimes I know how silly my "OMG so real" thoughts were.When my HOCD got weak it tried to get to the POCD subject, I know how bad it is, but it's not real, you never wanted it, then it's not true.Cling into that but repeat the thoughts, like you are agreeing with them, they won't go away in days, so be patient, but I know you can get through this. Stay strong. :)
I also recommend the headspace app, it helped and still helps to take a break from my thoughts to see how stupid they are. https://www.headspace.com/

constantbattle
05-09-17, 06:03
yeah sometimes it's so hard. I repeat that to myself everyday. "it never happened again so why am I losing my mind over this". But it's just that fact that it did happen. And the fact that I don't remember if the groin flexion was a joke or if I genuinely did it cause I liked it. But then when I am thinking that I liked it, I question why It happened and I try to figure out what could have cause it to happen (ex: me focusing on the fact that the butt had characteristic of something I find attractive in older women) and it stresses me out. I think and say to myself "well it hasn't happened since then, I haven't had the desire or urge to do the same thing so that means it couldn't have been real, but then it's like what if it was real? if it was real then why hasn't it happened before, why haven't i gotten these groin feelings again?. But I just hate myself for this ever happebing. I think why did I have to think that? This could have been avoided. Ugh. sorry for sounding so repetitive. I try to let the thoughts wonders and they go away when I'm with my friends but then theres times where ill be happy and then I remember this situation and I feel disgusted and like a monster and it stops me from being happy and it takes work to get me to stop thinking this way:/

Scaldris
05-09-17, 19:17
I know how hard it is,but, they know actual pedos are not disgusted, they don't think of themselves that way, it's natural for them to feel like they way they do, but that's just my opinion, sorry I don't want to google the subject, because right now, every thought can stick and I can worry about everything, you shouldn't do reseach neither. H
ave I mentioned the Mindfullness app? If not, give it a try, it helped me and it still does, I can do it on my own now to calm down.