the worst thing you could ever be

[Chellec]

Hi guys
I have been away for so long but now Im back. I have been having these thoughts and they have nearly driven me insane!!! The thoughts repulse me and scare me senseless and its enough to make you want to harm yourself but the sensbible side of me has prevented that. To hear that others have has this makes me feel that Im not a total weirdo or pervert- even writing that word makes me feel sick. I would never do anything ever to a child or another human being and it makes me so sick that it brings on panic- why do I get these thoughts? I told my boyfriend in a mild way and he just said that I was crazy and he knows that would never ever be true of me which calmed me for a bit now the thoughts are back please help!! xxx

[wombat]

Hi there,
Please try not to worry because you are not on your own....believe me.
I think it's irrelevant what we worry about but more to do with stopping worrying about things that we worry about if you know what i mean because they are irrational thoughts and that's the thing to remember and to hold on to.
With ocd it latches on to our worst fears which can be triggered off by all sorts of things like reading something in the paper or hearing something on the news.
I'm sure you can relate to this and so can lots of other people,it's as if you think Wouldn't it be awful if if.....etc etc....and what if's all the time.
If we were perverts we certainly wouldn't be worried about it and wouldn't be on this website but on other sinister one's on the web.
Just remember that they are just thoughts nothing more and nothing less the same thoughts that everybody gets it's just that they don't have ocd and don't take any notice of them.
Hope this helps a little bit,
Wombat.

[Chellec]

Ah thank you for that Wombat what are we like aye!!!! Sometimes you have to laugh otherwise you would cry!
Im reading a book called the Secret by Rhonda Byrne and its all about positive thoughts and how you can acheive anything you want if you put your mind to it! So to not have these crazy thoughts and no more panic attacks and to come off meds ( which I starting to do ) all through positive thinking sounds good to me! xxxxx:flowers:

[shoegal]

I totally understand. When I get too tired I start counting things in my head and as soon as I realise I'm doing it I get a whoosh of panic and I think 'oh no what if this never stops and I count things forever?' .... and the more scared I am of the counting, the more I do it, lol! BUT, if I say to myself, 'oh it's just tiredness, who cares if I count a few things?', and distract myself, I find it goes away and I don't do it again for a few months.

Everyone gets funny thoughts, it's the importance you place on them that's the problem. So stop worrying about them and they will stop! :wacko:

Hope this reassures you a bit.

Love and hugs from shoegal xxx

[Chellec]

Nigel that was a really lovely reply and so true. I have good days and then bad days. I just want to escape from being me to be honest!!! I feel worn out all the time
because my brain just wont stop!! In a way its comforting to find that Im not alone and I know deep down that I am a good person who would never ever hurt anyone in any way but like you said the fact that I am so replused by the thoughts must mean that Im so far away from being like that its funny in a weird way!! why cant life be simple again like when we were small? God I thought I had problems then but little did I know? ha ha

thank you all again for your love and support, this is a fantastic site and has helped me so much.I think a key to dealing and curing panic ect is to understand it and sites like these explains so much and helps take away some of the fear xxxxxx :)

[candidate]

Every time I hear about some kind of murder or act of perversion in the news I get anxious that I'm going to do it some day. It's annoying as hell.

[michellemumof4]

Hi there,

I too had severe thoughts of self harm and harming of others, as a mother this scared the hell out of me , and that is what made it so much worse, the fear kept it going ....

I walked away from using knives , driving a car, going out , even boiling a kettle was impossible, i became frozen by fear....

It is very very hard to trust others when they say you wont act on these thoughts, but as someone who has been through it - YOU WILL NEVER EVER DO IT , I also work for No Panic and in all the years they have been running NO ONE has ever acted on these thoughts...

Recovery is totally possible as I did it, its hard but we have to accept the thoughts , laugh at them - say to yourself " oh here we go again come on then do your worst I am ready for ya "

Let them run their course - ignore them challenge them anything you can BUT dont RUN from them...

My thoughts six months ago we there constantly every minute of the day - now i may get the odd one every few days usually if i am tired , i ignore them as i now know I am not that person who would act on them.

If you ever need to talk pm me or talk to me in chat

Good luck

[Filthy1]

hey there;
those thoughts are socommong, trust me if you went through some of the posts on here, even mine, you'll be surprised!!
the sickest thing your OCD can think up, thats what will stick in your head. I have had this one about kids for YEARS! Its a lot less now and i know its not true but i still get it time after time. I just think I have to plough through life and ignore it and it will go away.
:D
x