For long-term sufferers....

[ana]

I wonder if any of you feel like there simply is no way out of this condition, but that you're going round in circles instead?

I've been suffering from panic attacks for the past 16 years; diagnosed, undergoing therapy and taking medication for 15 years. In those years, I've tried everything, every approach imaginable, anything I could come up with to relieve my suffering. Namely, I've tried not thinking about panic, doing it on my own sans therapy and meds; focusing on it intensely, deliberately making a concentrated effort to improve my situation through repeated exposure, distractions, alternative medication and practices, meditation, positive thinking, help from others, purchasing programmes that guaranteed decreasing my anxiety, etc. and yet, what have I accomplished?

Throughout the years, I have had good times, even months or years at a time where I'd be very productive (getting my Master's), sociable (going out almost every day) and relaxed to the point of feeling so happy and liberated from this unfortunate condition, but then again... here I am now, experiencing depersonalisation on a daily basis, with a radius of movement so limited I can hardly walk for 5 minutes without feeling crippling panic and extreme discomfort, and I ask myself: how many times have I been here before? What even is the point in trying, going to therapy, taking medication, feeling motivated and determined to push my boundaries and actively seeing personal growth and improvement when I'll only end up going backwards eventually?

I'm sorry if this thread sounds negative. I'm not saying one should give up and make themselves into an unhappy recluse who suffers constantly. What I am saying, however, is that I feel very disillusioned with the way things take years to get better...only to get worse again. How can I, how can anyone, just get to a good place and stay there?

[AntsyVee]

I am a long-term sufferer. I can remember having anxiety issues as early as 5 years of age, and depression as early as 7. For people like us, it will always be a chronic condition that waxes and wanes. It's no different from having asthma or diabetes. It will get worse when we're under stress or have negative life events and it will get better when we're being healthy and things are calm. It's just one of those things we have to deal with.

I deal with it by thinking of it as the medical condition that it is. I also deal with it by not viewing flare-ups as setbacks. It is going to flare-up when we get stressed; it just is...but if you view it as a setback and start going down that negative road, it's not going to help any. When you get to that dark place, start looking for things you are doing positive. You've made lots of gains, don't diminish them.

[MadWomanintheAttik]

I understand this. I went a whole 3 years with hardly any attacks at all and now I'm back to having them almost daily. I too am on medication and have been for over 13 years. I also feel like im losing the energy to keep trying to battle them and regain some sense of control but i just feel it is futile.