Mell1988
22-11-04, 09:48
Hi there,
From talking to my counsellor last week and thinking about things a bit I've come to the conclusion that at the root of my anxiety is an inability to ever enjoy myself!!
Don't get me wrong here, I am not miserable all of the time - I do enjoy things in life but there is definitely a feeling that I can never completely "let go" and I'm always wary/thinking in the back of my mind of something that may make me anxious.
It came to light last week as it was my sons birthday and I was really looking forward to the day off work with him, and I had a great time but in the back of my mind were anxiety worries that I hadn't thought about for some time.
I suddenly realised that these worries always surface coming up to a "nice" event - ie. something that I am looking forward to. It seems like I won't let myself let go and enjoy it, I'm always putting something in the way that takes the edge off it.
I've also noticed this happens before events that perhaps I am less excited about but things that are different from the routine - ie. an important meeting at work.
Does this sound familiar to anyone ? It feels like I always have to have this around my neck - like maybe I have some self esteem issues and I feel that I don't deserve to be 100% happy ?
Take Care all
xxxxx
From talking to my counsellor last week and thinking about things a bit I've come to the conclusion that at the root of my anxiety is an inability to ever enjoy myself!!
Don't get me wrong here, I am not miserable all of the time - I do enjoy things in life but there is definitely a feeling that I can never completely "let go" and I'm always wary/thinking in the back of my mind of something that may make me anxious.
It came to light last week as it was my sons birthday and I was really looking forward to the day off work with him, and I had a great time but in the back of my mind were anxiety worries that I hadn't thought about for some time.
I suddenly realised that these worries always surface coming up to a "nice" event - ie. something that I am looking forward to. It seems like I won't let myself let go and enjoy it, I'm always putting something in the way that takes the edge off it.
I've also noticed this happens before events that perhaps I am less excited about but things that are different from the routine - ie. an important meeting at work.
Does this sound familiar to anyone ? It feels like I always have to have this around my neck - like maybe I have some self esteem issues and I feel that I don't deserve to be 100% happy ?
Take Care all
xxxxx