Fear of flying/panic attacks [Archive]

bubbleblitt

06-06-07, 06:09

Hi-just interested in your opinions on this-I have a long haul flight booked to go on holiday with all my family and as the day approaches I am SO scared.I managed a flight by myself in March to gatwick and back in a day which was tough but doesn't seem to have relieved the fear at all! Now I am wrestling with shall I not go on holiday as the panic attacks are so bad again.My husband, who alternates between being cross that I am stressing the family out so much and occasionally being sympathetic is now saying that I don't have to go.He says he can go ahead and take our son and my daughter and her two small children are going too.But now I have to make a decision which I have to stick too.I will feel guilty if I don't go!
Would be gratfeul for any advise Bubble

domino

06-06-07, 14:25

Ah i am total with you on this one, in past post i,ve mentioned that my husband wants to take me to new zealand for my 50th birthday in november, i would of course love to go, but of late have had second thoughts,you did great traveling on your own even if it was a short flight,my signature below is something that pops up in my head quite a lot lately.Please go you will reget it if you do,nt.I would go to your g.p. and get him to give you meds to help through this ,just for the flight, i take diazapam and i find that it helps me. I have cancelled that many hols i,ve forgot. My life is on hold at the moment ,i will get ther in time,i,ve managed to get on a train twice by myself to see my daughter., and i must admit that when i got off i was soo relieved ,but you know what i did it, and you will too.:flowers:

bubbleblitt

15-06-07, 05:39

Hi-I'm still stuggling with the fear about the flight which is in two weeks now.The panic attacks are happening daily and I feel stressed all day.I am so tempted not to go but there is the guilt going on about letting everyone down. Sorry to ramble on but for those of you who suffer from this I am sure you will understand the dilema, Bubble

honeybee3939

15-06-07, 09:12

Hi Bubble

Here are some links that may be of interest to you hun, hope they help.

Flying
Flying (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3092)
flying (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1440)
anxious need some reasurance from my friends here (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3918)
plane tommorrow (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7374)
How to Stop a Panic Attack when it is happening? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=14887)

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

bubbleblitt

17-06-07, 05:54

Hi Rickards and Andrea, thanks for your replies.I am still struggling with this one! I am really so tempted to pull out of the trip! I have flown so many times and really fancy giving this one a miss.The pressure of guilt is tremendous though.If my family just said they were ok about me staying home then I'd cancel.Actually, I have never been alone and had some 'me' time in 30 years of marriage and I think that may be part of the problem.Also, I feel as if my family may want me to go to make it easier for them (look after the grandchildren, ferry people about in the hire car etc) does that sound really mean that I'm thinking like that? Bubble

domino

17-06-07, 06:59

Hi bubblebitt, you are not mean, you are just feeling really anxious,and as time is getting neareryou feel worse, have you been to see your g.p. yet? i really do know what you aer going though, really i do. i want my husband to say "if you do,nt want to go then we wo,nt" but i know that it is a step backwards and i want so much to get back to normal, someone once said to me that it is within your reach , and it is within your reach. maybe all of us should join together and make that flight. we will be with you , please go it,s you you will be letting down, tell yourself that this the first day of your recovery, this demon will not win, hope i,ve had helped you in some way, remember you are not alone here.sending you loads of hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:IT IS WITHIN YOUR REACH DO IT .XX

kate

17-06-07, 07:14

We went on a big extended family (18 of us) trip to Florida a few years ago and I was so tempted to not go.

I went to the doctors and he gave me some Valium for the flight which did help take the edge off the nerves.

Kate

domino

17-06-07, 07:28

Totally agree with kate, i have been to florida 4 times now and needed diazapam to get me through the flight, just read a thread and someone said leave you anxiety at home. try that , you are packing your case, and there are things you know you will need on this holiday, and your anxietyis,nt one off them so leave it at home go on this trip and have the best time ever.
IT,S WITHIN YOUR REACH, keep telling yourself this.

belle

17-06-07, 07:50

Hi there...

I would say - you have to do what feels best for you. You need to seriously take into consideration all the pros and cons. Yes, you'll probably panic, because thats what we do - could you cope "long haul" panicking? You don't want to get the other end and spend the duration of your holiday stressing and panicking because of the journey home. If you decide NOT to go, then you'll feel disappointed and upset....but also after that come the wave of relief.

I had my first proper panic attack waiting to board a plane to Australia!!!! I stood there and dropped my bags and told my mother i wasn't going (i was 21 at the time). She said "Fine, she you in 6 weeks" and boarded without me. I had NO choice but to fly. Yes i was scared, but with a mixture of the most amazing travel sick pills (that sadly didn't make me sleep), i endured the 26 hour journey in one piece. Funny enough, i was my mother freaking out! However, it was the 3 hour internal flight on a 737 that REALLY tested me. I actually got out of my seat (while on runway) and insisted that the hostess let me off, she looked at me an said "SIIIIIIIIIIIIT DOWN". Great. I spent that journey shaking and biting my nails, trying not to look at the sea under me, although the Barrier Reef from 35,000 ft is quite special.

Perhaps if you do decide to go, get to your doctors and ask for some medication to calm you in emergancies. Focus on the fact that you did really well and made a flight only a matter of weeks ago, i couldn't do that. I can't even leave my house far enough to get to an airport....lol!

GOOD LUCK :)

x

Dave777

17-06-07, 08:30

Hi Bubbleblitt
I haven't flown for some years now, had a big PA waiting to take off at Stansted.
It wasn't the fear of flying, it was more to do with being in a controlled situation in a confined space.

I hope to overcome this by taking a private flight in a small aircraft.

One thing that may help you is to have Valium or similar prior to the flight.

Let me know how you get on.

best wishes
Dave:) x

Granny Primark

17-06-07, 08:51

Just read this post.
I too am dreading going a plane again. I havent flown now for 3 years. I just keep thinking the more I delay it the worse its getting.
After not having a panic attack for a while yesterday I had a severe one whilst stuck in traffic. I had to turn the car round and drive partway up a one way street. (mostly on the pavement) Needless to say I got some funny looks and cars peeping at me.
I then started to think what the hell would I be like if I got on a plane?
2 years ago I chickened out going to Turkey on the day of departure.
My holidays were my life. I feel the only way to get that life back is to go on a plane and start living the way I used to.
Ive already chickened out of a hol we supposed to be going on next week.
Please dont feel any guilt. I totally understand where you are coming from in thinking they only want you to go for their own reasons tho.
But im sure thats not the case.
Do this for you bubble. Think of it as the challenge of your life and how fantasticly proud you will feel when youve done it.
Like rickards said pack your case with all the stuff you need but leave the anxiety at home.
Only last night a friend who weve been on hol with many times and asked us to go to Benidorm next year with them. Reading your post and the advice that people have given has given me some inspiration.
Hope you have a wonderful time bubblebitt and I look forward to reading your post on success stories.

Take care
LYNN xx

panicdiva

17-06-07, 22:42

I soooo know how you are feeling right now. I was there this time last year. We went to Florida on the 1st July. Now, I LOVE Florida. I used to LOVE flying until I had my daughter 9 yrs ago. The panic I feel for weeks before I go is horrendous! I usually lose a fair bit of weight because I cannot eat. About 10 wks before we were do to go, just a few days before we were due to pay the balance, I really had a huge panic attack. My husband & I had a long talk, & he said that we could cancel. He said that the kids had been 2x before, so it's not like they have never been before, etc. etc. He went to bed & I spent hours crying because I felt like such a failure. However, I managed to get over that..... for a little while. One minute I would feel so positive, thinking, yes I can do this, I will be fine. The next minute I would be in the depths of panic, thinking I must be mad thinking that I could do this. It's the see saw of emotion that completely drains you. When you are on that emotional see saw you just wish that you could make it all go away, and vow never to take a holiday again & put yourself thru that. I get so angry as well because I think why can I not be like other people who just get on with it, & get on a flight without any qualms?

However, I did go, I cried when we took off and started to feel panic. But, I got through it - I felt drained but I did it. Then, 2 hrs after landing we were in the swimming pool at our villa & I remember thinking......This is worth all those weeks of panic. It was not all perfect after that, I still had some anxiety about flying back, but I really did have a great holiday & I'm sooooo glad that I did not cancel, even though I thought about it a 100x.

Do you know what I did? I printed off threads from this site from people who had the same fear & who had got through it. I took it in my bag & whenever I felt panic I read them. This gave me lots of inspiration. Also, I went to my Doctor and asked for valium. He gave me some. Now, I panic taking strong medicine, however, just knowing that they were in my bag if I needed them was enough. Also, I took a relaxation cd to listen to which helped me as well.

Whatever you decide to do please remember that there are lots of people who feel exactly as you do. Please feel free to pm me if you need anymore advice or support.

belle

18-06-07, 13:16

Good for you Diva to get on that plane......to Florida as well. Not a short flight :)

x

bubbleblitt

20-06-07, 05:30

thank you all so much for your replies and your support.It is such a relief to hear from you and know that I am not the only one who feels like this.I have flown dozens of times over the last 20 or so years and each time I wrestle with the fear but usually just around a week before we are due to leave.Your story Panicdiva sounds like it could have been written by me! It's actually the weeks before a flight when the panic is at it's worst.I do have valium from my GP but can't keep taking that day after day.The mornings are the worst bit, especially very early in the mornings when I wake and can't sleep.
My husband keeps saying I mustn't let my two year old grandson down because he is going to with my daughter the day after we fly to Orlando but , in a way, that seems to be adding to the pressure!
I keep thinking couldn't they all just let me off the hook and say 'don't go'? I know that's not going to happen though.I know how safe flying is but the fear is over whelming and once I get to Florida after a few days of feeling absolutely drained then I start worrying about flying back.
Sorry to be sounding so negative but it is such a relief to be able to talk to people who have gone through this who aren't getting cross with me, will keep you all posted, Bubblex

Southern_Belle

20-06-07, 18:59

Hi Bubble,

I know how you feel hun. I just flew to Arizona and I too hated it but did it anyways. It is about loss of control, if I could figure out how the thing stays up in the air I think I would be okay, LOL. Or, if I could be the pilot I'd be okay! Are you going to Disney? If so, I would focus on the look of your grandson at Disney, priceless! You will have such a great time. I grew up in Florida and believe me it is quite the vacation spot. You will have a lovely time just focus on that. I wear ear plus when I fly so that I can't hear the engines because the engines changing always scares me. I also take magazines because I can't focus on books so little articles are better for me personally. I'm glad you are prescribed meds they will help.

Try your best when you wake up in the morning to think of a good thing that will be happening while you are on holiday and stomp out the negative thought. That is how I get beyond it. I hope you go and have a great time. It will make a fab success story.

I know you can do this!

:hugs: ,

Laura

bubbleblitt

21-06-07, 05:53

thanks Laura-mornings are my worst time.As the day goes on I do pick up a bit.I'll keep you posted as the days go on! Bubble

bubbleblitt

22-06-07, 06:12

Really struggling with this fear of flying now-the mornings are absolutely the worst time.I am SO tempted to drop out of the holiday but really don't want to let my son down.Don't know what to do now.My husband is cross because he says I do this every time before we have a long haul trip.He reckons I love all this 'angst' as he calls it but I really don't.All I want is to be able to be like most other people and be able to feel excited about going on holiday rather than have these relentless panic attacks every single time.Sorry to rant and rave but feel at rock bottom this morning Bubble

domino

22-06-07, 20:49

Hi bubblebitt, how are you feeling this evening? i came back from my short break this afternoon, o.k. it did,nt involve flying but i still went, i have told you before that i just hate flying, and motorways, long journeys of any kind really, but i went had a great time , left my anxiety at home. Came back to a load of junk mail, and have a case load of washing to do , but today i feel refreshed after my hols and you will too. O n a more serious note though, your hubby is,nt going to offer you the chance to back out of this trip, only you can decide weather you go or not.You will feel guilty, upset, hate yourself, all sorts of crap, but you and you alone can make the change. IT IS WITHIN YOUR REACH.

bubbleblitt

23-06-07, 07:33

Hi Rickards, thanks for your reply.Yes, you're right.My husband is leaving it to me to make the decision.Whatever I do it isn't going to be easy.We have been going to Orlando every year for almost 20 years and sometimes I get over there and relax and other times I don't unwind and end up making all the family feel tense about me being anxious!
The latest plan is that I fly down to heathrow next week and see how I feel when I get there (we have an overnight stop).It's all going round and round in my head but I am trying to keep going and see what happens on a day to day basis.I have had quite a few personal problems over the last year or so and I'm pretty sure that is adding to the anxiety about the flights. Well done for going ahead with your short break and I'm so pleased that you feel better for it, take care Bubble

domino

23-06-07, 15:34

HIYA BUBBLE, when do you go on this holiday?Where is your over night stop? it,s just that i think that once you get on the plane and yo,ve took off you might as well be on it for 10 hrs, 4 hrs, 2 hrs. My fear is actually getting on the damm thing. I wish you well and let me know how you did with you trail run. xx:hugs:

motor

23-06-07, 16:13

I'm going the docs on monday to see if he'll give me some diazepam for my flight the sunday after. Fingers crossed.

domino

23-06-07, 16:17

Hi barked, i,m sure your g.p. will give you some diazapam ,have you taken them before, they can make you feel quite drowsey, they work for me though. Where ever your off to have the best time.:biggrin:

bubbleblitt

24-06-07, 07:34

My GP is very sympathetic and prescribes Valium for me before a flight.I only ever used to be nervous around a week before a flight so I used to take the odd valium to take the edge off the anxiety.Yesterday I was very twitchy but kep thinking only a few more days and then I will be safely there so managed with rescue remedy and camomile tea. I have just a few more days now to get through and I'm on the home straight! Bev

bubbleblitt

24-06-07, 07:37

PS-Hi Rickards, just spotted your other reply on page 2! WE fly from Newcastle to Heathrow on Thursday and then two days later fly Gatwick to Orlando.I never used to worry to much about the short haul flights just the long haul but now I worry about both! I have flown dozens of times though but it seems to be getting worse.Whatever happens I'll post here and let you know how I get on Bev

bubbleblitt

25-06-07, 05:53

really anxious this morning as the flight day approaches.We leave on Thursday.My mind is in a constant state of high alert.I still don't know if I will have the courage to go through with it.The more I fly the worse it seems to be getting.I just can't wait to get back to normal and not keep waking up at 5am with this awful feeling of anxiety. Bev

domino

25-06-07, 15:44

IT WITHIN YOUR REACH keep telling yourself that, you can do this i know you can, :hugs:

bubbleblitt

26-06-07, 05:18

Hi Rickards, thanks for your support.The mornings are the worst time for me.I keep thinking I don't think I can get on the plane.I still hope to fly on Thursday to Heathrow and then see how I feel and hopefully be okay for the long haul trip to Florida. I have done this so many times and beat the fear and got on the plane but the years of panic seem to be really wearing me down now.I hate feeling like this.Last year even when I arrived in America I started panicking about the return flight and it ruined my holiday, Bev

Debs8a

26-06-07, 10:23

Bubbleblitt, you should go to this website www.scaredofflying.com or www.flyingwithoutfear.com. The website has been created by a BA pilot and he aims to inform you of all the technical aspects of flying and what the noises on a plane are (there are even sound effects). A lovely air hostess gave me a booklet on a flight recently and it helped considerably. Well, that and a few hypnotherapy sessions. I used to love flying before i started suffering with pa's so i know there is something i enjoyed and i look for that every time i get on a plane now. I always tell myself that i am doing something that the majority of people on the planet will never do. I mean, it is a pretty cool thing to do. Fly through the air so gracefully and see the grand canyon or the alps. Blah blah, im going on now.

Ps My fav quote from the website "Planes love clouds. They are comfortable in clouds" Sounds very childrens book but it is effective.

Good luck. It will all be worth it! x

flatterycat

26-06-07, 10:50

I just wanted to let you know my story with flying. I didn't fly for years then met my husband and slowly began going on holidays again. This country first! Then we went to Majorca! That was all ok.
Since then I have done 2 long hauls - Dominican Republic and Cuba. Both times I was an absolute wreck two weeks before and thought I would never be able to go. I even wrote my husband a letter to tell him how scared I was!!!!! I remember looking up the local hospitals in both countries on the internet lol. Anyway, I went and had a great time both times, but that doesn't mean I didn't go through the mill before hand.

bubbleblitt

27-06-07, 07:09

Hi and thanks for your help and replies and support.Yes, I have been going on the scared of flying site! They have been very supportive there and are waiting for me to get on the flight and report back to them!I had been planning on having hypnotherapy but didn't go through with it-wish I had now! Yesterday I bought some Bach's herbal remedy a bottle called Mimulus and that did help me settle down duirng the day.These early mornings are when I get the worst panic atacks but I keep thinking juts over 24 hrs before I get on that first plane and then another 48 hours before I get on the long haul.I'll keep posting and let you know how it goes. Bev x

panicdiva

27-06-07, 22:37

Bubbleblitt, I know this is soooo hard right now but you have done it before and you will do it again. It's torture I know, but just think about how much fun you will have when you are there. The thing is, although you go through hell for days before getting on that flight, & torture yourself with will I, won't I, you do get on the flight. Some people don't try because the fear is so bad.....but you "feel the fear, but do it anyway".

I tried hypnotherapy before I flew to florida last year & it did help quite a bit - not so much for the anticipation but for when I was on the flight. You can do this though. Keep us posted.

bubbleblitt

28-06-07, 05:39

Thanks Panicdiva.I have flown to Orlando lots of times before.Last year was a nightmare.I got really stressed about it several weeks before we left the UK and then when we arrived I started to worry about the return flight!I have said that I will fly to heathrow (today) and then see how I feel about the long haul flight (Saturday).If I feel as bad as I di right now I will have to pull out-then I'll feel guilty.Whatever I decide it won't be easy.Thanks though for al your support and kind words. No one in my family really understands why I am making such a fuss! I'll try and post if I can get online somewhere, Bev

domino

28-06-07, 17:34

Hi there , how are you doing today, i hope you have decided to give it a go. i,m thinking of you , IT,S WITHIN YOUR REACH. I t would be great to read your success story. Sending you hugs whatever you decide to do.:hugs::hugs::hugs:

Wendie j

28-06-07, 18:31

Hi just to say I understand completely what you are going through.

I would love to go on a course but its only held in the US im so mad that these panic attacks are stopping what I dream of doing with my life.

Just believe that you will make the right decision for YOU! whatever it may be.

We are all here for you and take care.:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

wendie j xx

bubbleblitt

11-07-07, 12:18

Hi everyone-a quick update.I made it to Orlando! I'm writing this from there.It was really tough but I did it.The first flight from Newcastle to Heathrow was ok ish and then on the day of the long haul I had a major panic attack at the airport.I had to watch my husband and son go through passoprt control without me! At the last minute I decided to do it and practically ran through with my passport! I was not too bad on the flight but now I have started to panic about the return flight which is two weeks today! My daughter flies back this Friday and I wish I was going too to get it over with. Will keep you posted when I can get online to update this, Bev

bubbleblitt

11-07-07, 20:09

had massive panic attack this morning.Virgin have agreed to fly me back early so I have one more flight to get through then fancy giving flying a rest! feel really anxious though becasue my husband and son are sticking to their plans and flying back after me.hate this overwhelming fear and panic.Will post tomorrow when I get home, Bev

domino

12-07-07, 12:15

Oh bev, how are you today, I kept checking the forum to see if you had gone, and was soo pleased for you , you had done it, had well i just wanted to send you a :bighug:because you did it and i would be back home qwithout even boarding the flight.So your coming home early , that,s ok you did great, and if you feel that flying is not for you then so be it. Do,nt feel guilty for coming home, you would have been home eventually anyway, look at it like this you did it, you servived, and you wo,nt be in a hurry to do it again,I just think that you are amazing,.:hugs::hugs:You really or,t to post on the success page.

bubbleblitt

12-07-07, 19:26

Hi Rickards-thanks for your good wishes.I came back last night and flew alone from orlando back to Gatwick.The Virgin staff were great-they issued my husband with a special gate pass so that he could walk me right up to the plane.I got in the plane in a pretty bad state but the crew on the return flight were fantastic.They even arranged for the pilot to come and talk to me an hour before we landed! he had a long chat with me about how safe it is to fly and managed to calm me down tremendously. My daughter and her family fly back tomorrow eve and my husband and son are there for another two weeks.I'm just SO relieved to be back though.I had to get two trains once I got to Gatwick this am and I'm tired but glad to be safely home.I don't feel panicky at all now and it's such a relief. Thanks again for your support, Bev