KazzyGabranth
05-09-17, 22:36
Hey, newbie here.
Around two weeks ago, as requested by my psychiatrist and after 4 weeks of tapering the dose down, I took my final dose of Mirtazipine, something that I never realised I would have become dependent on, and my life has been a downwards spiral since then. My body did not handle withdrawal at all well, and before long I was experiencing horrendous panic attacks and intrusive thoughts, to the point where as I was messaging my (absolutely amazing by the way) boyfriend, I had a sudden overwhelming urge to leave him and then seeing him the next day sent me into an absolute meltdown, which I guess has now reset my brain into default mode. I can't feel anything except for dread and fear. I occasionally have glimpses of emotions, but they're short lived and the intrusive thoughts only go away when I take Lorazepam to calm me down. It's making me doubt everything and question my love for my boyfriend, who I know I love so damn much, I just can't feel it at the moment. Each day brings new challenges and new depths of hell - I wake up in the morning with horrendous panic and intrusive thoughts, which are then continuously dulled by Lorazepam so that I don't have to listen to them.
I'm back on Mirtazapine, but I'm now so fearful that I'll never get any of the feelings back I had for my boyfriend, or for my family ever again. It's absolutely horrible being stuck in this limbo. The only time I ever feel at peace is when I'm
physically with my boyfriend
I just hope that all my feelings come back when the Mirtazapine kicks in again 😞😞😞
Around two weeks ago, as requested by my psychiatrist and after 4 weeks of tapering the dose down, I took my final dose of Mirtazipine, something that I never realised I would have become dependent on, and my life has been a downwards spiral since then. My body did not handle withdrawal at all well, and before long I was experiencing horrendous panic attacks and intrusive thoughts, to the point where as I was messaging my (absolutely amazing by the way) boyfriend, I had a sudden overwhelming urge to leave him and then seeing him the next day sent me into an absolute meltdown, which I guess has now reset my brain into default mode. I can't feel anything except for dread and fear. I occasionally have glimpses of emotions, but they're short lived and the intrusive thoughts only go away when I take Lorazepam to calm me down. It's making me doubt everything and question my love for my boyfriend, who I know I love so damn much, I just can't feel it at the moment. Each day brings new challenges and new depths of hell - I wake up in the morning with horrendous panic and intrusive thoughts, which are then continuously dulled by Lorazepam so that I don't have to listen to them.
I'm back on Mirtazapine, but I'm now so fearful that I'll never get any of the feelings back I had for my boyfriend, or for my family ever again. It's absolutely horrible being stuck in this limbo. The only time I ever feel at peace is when I'm
physically with my boyfriend
I just hope that all my feelings come back when the Mirtazapine kicks in again 😞😞😞