View Full Version : Advice for a friend
ServerError
07-09-17, 02:34
Wasn't sure where to post this, but I was wondering if anybody living in the US, or with knowledge of the US medical, mental health and insurance systems could help me.
I have a very good friend who lives in America (she's a US citizen), and she's a very bright, very intelligent and, above all, very decent person, but she suffers with depression. For her, it's an every day struggle, which manifests mostly in thoughts of hopelessness and of extremely low-self worth.
The only advice I can ever give her from over here in England is to seek help, but herein lies the problem. She is perfectly intelligent, but her mental health makes it impossible for her to work. She doesn't say that, I just know it's the case. She also lives in rural Michigan, where work is pretty scarce anyway. So she doesn't have insurance and she's not even registered with a doctor.
I tell her that they can't just leave her to suffer indefinitely and that there must be something that can be done, and she says she'll look into it, but I know her state of mind will prevent her from being proactive about it. Depression can be absolutely debilitating when it comes to taking proactive and positive steps.
I know so little about the US system - is she really completely stuck with this or is there help out there for someone in her position?
She's a really talented artists and I've said that to her so many times over the years. Recently, people actually started commissioning paintings from her. They don't pay much, but how many people ever successfully sell their artwork? It's a huge achievement and she isn't even capable of taking pride in it because in her mind her work isn't worth it.
Any advice?
I'm surprised our US friends haven't given you any advice - you're always helping others on here. Afraid I know as much as you do re US system but bumping this for you in hope someone comes along who can advise and help.
Great that you're supporting your friend across the pond - she sounds very talented....
Catherine S
10-09-17, 16:35
I can't get my head around the American system either. I only know bits of it from people on the forum. One member said she'd had to wait almost a year to get insurence so in that time she couldn't be treated. I was gobsmacked. I know it's not black & white, there are lots of grey bits, but it always sounds so complicated. Where's our Fishmanpa when you need him, he'd know I'm sure.
My son is an artist and is quite a successful one these days fortunately, but has also been through depression in the past, and was able to get the support he needed from our National health Service. He's been is well ever since thankfully.
I hope your friend finds a way to get the help she needs.
Cath S
Every state has resources for mental health https://www.mentalhealth.gov/
There are hotlines and help available for the asking and that's where the issue really lies. One must have the inner fortitude to take the steps.
Positive thoughts
Honestly...there are many avenues she could take. But as you said yourself S.E. she won't help herself. That is one of the biggest problems with depression/anxiety issues. There are tons of free groups she could attend, And from the experience in those groups often comes more help. Just like here on NMP. But it might involve taking the initiative. Do you actually say to her your biggest problem is that you won't help yourself? Also if she's totally alone that could be an issue. Those who have overcome clinical severe depression often have had a loved one who would literally drag them out of bed everyday. It's really up to her.
N.
Catherine S
10-09-17, 17:46
But even if she was proactive enough to register with a local doctor, will she be able to access mental health services without having insurance? Will the doctor be able to refer her on to a therapist, will he be able to give her medication for the depression without insurance? Are these the things you're asking Server?
Cath S
There is a lot of waffle about health insurance and what the "new" laws and regulations now require employers to include - mental health being one. All that is great, but there is nothing about people with NO health insurance. Seems you need it - unless you require emergency help: 911 or a number for those feeling "suicidal". There is mention of access to "behavioural health treatment services in your area". It doesn't say whether this is free or if you need insurance. It seems to read that you do:
Find help in your area with the Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator or the Find a Health Center.
But even if she was proactive enough to register with a local doctor, will she be able to access mental health services without having insurance? Will the doctor be able to refer her on to a therapist, will he be able to give her medication for the depression without insurance? Are these the things you're asking Server?
Cath S
Yes
---------- Post added at 18:13 ---------- Previous post was at 18:09 ----------
Someone very close to me hasn't had insurance for years. They regularly (bi-weekly) see a very good psychiatrist. If this is going to turn into a referendum on Healthcare in the US I'm more than happy take up that debate. But I think this about giving advice to S.E. for his friend.
N.
Catherine S
10-09-17, 19:48
Why would anybody want to turn it into a debate, or was that a joke? We're just trying to help. We're also just trying to understand the way your system works is all..including Server obviously, or he wouldn't have asked about it.
Cath S ☺
Even without insurance, one can see a doctor and get prescriptions. You just pay more. Same for mental health help. That being said, there are free sources that can get you discounts on meds and regardless of insurance, a generic med is very affordable.
As Novious said, there are groups and help in most every area of the country. Also, depending on her financial situation, she may qualify for a state assisted health care/prescription plan. Depending on the state it can be a life saver.
That being said, as before, she has to have the inner fortitude to recognize there is a problem and take steps to address it. I've seen personally what depression can do. I wish the best...
Positive thoughts
But even if she was proactive enough to register with a local doctor, will she be able to access mental health services without having insurance? Will the doctor be able to refer her on to a therapist, will he be able to give her medication for the depression without insurance? Are these the things you're asking Server?
Cath S
Yes Catherine - I think that both FMP and myself gave her a number of good options previously she could choose...but first she has to choose to help herself.
Not that anyone wants to turn it into a debate. I just kinda saw going that way maybe.
Even without insurance, one can see a doctor and get prescriptions. You just pay more. Same for mental health help. That being said, there are free sources that can get you discounts on meds and regardless of insurance, a generic med is very affordable.
As Novious said, there are groups and help in most every area of the country. Also, depending on her financial situation, she may qualify for a state assisted health care/prescription plan. Depending on the state it can be a life saver.
That being said, as before, she has to have the inner fortitude to recognize there is a problem and take steps to address it. I've seen personally what depression can do. I wish the best...
Positive thoughts
That explains the situation in a very factual way. Not interested in the rights or wrongs of it - just what options this young lady has. It's just very difficult when the very thing needed - ie, motivation and "fortitude" - is usually lacking in people suffering with severe depression. So a catch-22 unfortunately.
Yes Catherine - I think that both FMP and myself gave her a number of good options previously she could choose...but first she has to choose to help herself.
Not that anyone wants to turn it into a debate. I just kinda saw going that way maybe.
We have enough political debate as it is, Agent N. And we know you can be a political animal - just not here, as you rightfully point out. This is about someone who is obviously suffering.
Catherine S
10-09-17, 22:04
Server, I hope your friend finds her way through her depression, and onto recovery. I'm sure she will eventually find her way through this with your support.
Cath
That explains the situation in a very factual way. Not interested in the rights or wrongs of it - just what options this young lady has. It's just very difficult when the very thing needed - ie, motivation and "fortitude" - is usually lacking in people suffering with severe depression. So a catch-22 unfortunately.
We have enough political debate as it is, Agent N. And we know you can be a political animal - just not here, as you rightfully point out. This is about someone who is obviously suffering.
I'm with you KK.
ServerError
11-09-17, 05:52
Thanks everyone. I didn't realise this had taken off. Firstly, this was never meant to be about the merits of a particular system, though obviously people can have that discussion if they want to.
I haven't seen my friend in a number of years, so most advice I give and most of our interactions are over the Internet. For that reason, I guess I can only know so much about what's going on. In terms of an inner desire to change and improve, I would firstly say that she does seek a form of therapy through her artwork, which genuinely does give her some degree of self-worth. The problem is that her self-esteem and worldview are so bleak that to stump up the fortitude to work around the system and find the help she really needs is asking a lot.
When I was suffering, I had plenty of drive to get better and live s better life. But that drive is what pushed me to get help. Say what you like about the NHS, it was there for me when I needed it. Even when I see a chink of light with this girl, I don't know what to advise her to do next because I don't understand the system over there. All I know is what she tells me, which is that she has no insurance, no doctor, and can't handle so much as the thought of a job. And jobs are scarce anyway where she lives. She needs some kind of support.
She's not suicidal as far as I can tell. She just has no self-esteem or confidence and can't bring herself to believe things could be any different. Her family is loving but simply doesn't understand the nature of the problem.
I guess I'm at a loss asvto what more I can do. I just find it hard to believe there's nothing out there for her.
MyNameIsTerry
11-09-17, 06:14
Since she seeks therapy through her art how about therapy based in art? For instance, Mindfulness Based Art Therapy (MBAT)? Perhaps she will be less likely to resist it because it involves her passion? Also, she will easily be able to adapt it to her own art work.
Thanks everyone. I didn't realise this had taken off. Firstly, this was never meant to be about the merits of a particular system, though obviously people can have that discussion if they want to.
I haven't seen my friend in a number of years, so most advice I give and most of our interactions are over the Internet. For that reason, I guess I can only know so much about what's going on. In terms of an inner desire to change and improve, I would firstly say that she does seek a form of therapy through her artwork, which genuinely does give her some degree of self-worth. The problem is that her self-esteem and worldview are so bleak that to stump up the fortitude to work around the system and find the help she really needs is asking a lot.
When I was suffering, I had plenty of drive to get better and live s better life. But that drive is what pushed me to get help. Say what you like about the NHS, it was there for me when I needed it. Even when I see a chink of light with this girl, I don't know what to advise her to do next because I don't understand the system over there. All I know is what she tells me, which is that she has no insurance, no doctor, and can't handle so much as the thought of a job. And jobs are scarce anyway where she lives. She needs some kind of support.
She's not suicidal as far as I can tell. She just has no self-esteem or confidence and can't bring herself to believe things could be any different. Her family is loving but simply doesn't understand the nature of the problem.
I guess I'm at a loss asvto what more I can do. I just find it hard to believe there's nothing out there for her.
"No self esteem or confidence". My friend you have just said a mouthful. That is very often the premier underlying cause to all of this anxiety/depression stuff. The funny part is the anxiety/depression is the very thing that keeps you from going out and gaining confidence. Because the only way to gain it is to get out there and try. Try and fail. Try and fail. Try and fail. Try and succeed! Try and succeed! You get the idea.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.