LBT
12-09-17, 15:43
Hello everyone,
I've joined the forum as in recent days I have identified that i'm suffering from Anxiety.
I'll try to stay on topic but I can't promise anything. I need to tell you about the past 4 months for my problems to make any sense so here we go.
I have lived with my Partner for the best part of 12 years and we are very happy as a couple, so much so we finally got a house together. Now for the past 7 years I was living in her flat with her. I paid my way etc.
In May we completed on our first home together, and my first ever property which is 25 miles from where we used to live. I'm not someone with loads of friends or someone who lives local to the friends I do have. We went from a Town to a Village which is friendlier but very quiet and much darker at night.
We moved in over the first week of May which we both had off work. As with all things there are a few bumps in the road. Our kitchen back door handle broke, our french doors were draughty and our underfloor heating wasn't setup.
On the 3rd day of being at the house I used the toilet only to walk out the bathroom and to hear gushing water, the pipe which filled the toilet had come off and was spraying the mains water all over the bathroom. I went into full panic trying to hold the pipework and hosing together trying to stop the water while shouting for my partner to turn the mains off (something which we didn't know about until after this event.) Now the water is off and i'm shaking from the cold and bleeding from the sharp pipework. I know i'm physically shaken by the experience I remember at the moment thinking our new home is ruined and we now faced a huge repair. Luckily we had a small amount of water go downstairs leaving the premises intact.
Since this time I tend to feel cold all the time, convincing myself that it's the house not me. We checked at the weekend with Thermometers only to discover that the thermostats under read the temperature and when I move it to say 21c i'm actually demanding 24c well so says the thermometer.
Worst of all I wake up for no reason in the night, which I initially blamed on hot summers nights, not Anxiety attacks in my sleep, waking up hot and sweaty in the last month my head now fills with random thoughts all about different bits of the house and what could go wrong. But more often than not I wake up really hot in bed, sweating yet it's too cold outside of the duvet for my liking. i'm waking up every night between 4:30 am-5:30 am and today is the first time I managed to nod off for another 20-30 mins after waking up.
I also have a lot of trouble being in the house on my own, it is both thermally and audibly insulated making every little noise in the house far more noticeable. I find the silence crippling and it's not the lack of sound but it's the lack of hearing another human being which does it you feel completely isolated, it's not nice and to be honest the opposite to how I thought I would feel.
It has occurred to me today that the Anxiety no longer seems to be from the House, but I have picked up on house issues to express my anxiety, yet once an issue is fixed I find another issue to focus on as the reason for my anxiety because it won't subside. In other words the house is footing the blame for how I feel when in reality I think it's the following.
My journey to work is twice as long,
I'm not overly in love with the Village,
I don't love the house,
I feel very unsettled overall,
I don't like the quiet,
The dark makes me feel unsafe, (used to streetlights)
The only thing I have not considered til now is we live about 200 meters from a electricity pylon and whether this is having an effect on my mental health, anyone got any thoughts on that?
Can anyone give me any help on this? Whether you've had issues after moving? whether you got over it?what caused your Anxiety after moving?
I'm usually Mr calm and collected but since moving I'm a wreck and I fear ruining my relationship, destroying myself and being unhappy further more. Can anyone relate to my actions, same or similar.
Sorry for this being so long but without the full account I don't think anyone can truly understand my position.
While I've only been in the house for 4 months i'm already considering moving back to or near where I used to live, and I feel some guilt for wasting money (stamp duty and solicitors fees £20k) I feel it's the only way to get back on track, my Partner is being very supportive but I know it will break her heart to leave, however I think she wants the old me back more than the current me and the house.
I've joined the forum as in recent days I have identified that i'm suffering from Anxiety.
I'll try to stay on topic but I can't promise anything. I need to tell you about the past 4 months for my problems to make any sense so here we go.
I have lived with my Partner for the best part of 12 years and we are very happy as a couple, so much so we finally got a house together. Now for the past 7 years I was living in her flat with her. I paid my way etc.
In May we completed on our first home together, and my first ever property which is 25 miles from where we used to live. I'm not someone with loads of friends or someone who lives local to the friends I do have. We went from a Town to a Village which is friendlier but very quiet and much darker at night.
We moved in over the first week of May which we both had off work. As with all things there are a few bumps in the road. Our kitchen back door handle broke, our french doors were draughty and our underfloor heating wasn't setup.
On the 3rd day of being at the house I used the toilet only to walk out the bathroom and to hear gushing water, the pipe which filled the toilet had come off and was spraying the mains water all over the bathroom. I went into full panic trying to hold the pipework and hosing together trying to stop the water while shouting for my partner to turn the mains off (something which we didn't know about until after this event.) Now the water is off and i'm shaking from the cold and bleeding from the sharp pipework. I know i'm physically shaken by the experience I remember at the moment thinking our new home is ruined and we now faced a huge repair. Luckily we had a small amount of water go downstairs leaving the premises intact.
Since this time I tend to feel cold all the time, convincing myself that it's the house not me. We checked at the weekend with Thermometers only to discover that the thermostats under read the temperature and when I move it to say 21c i'm actually demanding 24c well so says the thermometer.
Worst of all I wake up for no reason in the night, which I initially blamed on hot summers nights, not Anxiety attacks in my sleep, waking up hot and sweaty in the last month my head now fills with random thoughts all about different bits of the house and what could go wrong. But more often than not I wake up really hot in bed, sweating yet it's too cold outside of the duvet for my liking. i'm waking up every night between 4:30 am-5:30 am and today is the first time I managed to nod off for another 20-30 mins after waking up.
I also have a lot of trouble being in the house on my own, it is both thermally and audibly insulated making every little noise in the house far more noticeable. I find the silence crippling and it's not the lack of sound but it's the lack of hearing another human being which does it you feel completely isolated, it's not nice and to be honest the opposite to how I thought I would feel.
It has occurred to me today that the Anxiety no longer seems to be from the House, but I have picked up on house issues to express my anxiety, yet once an issue is fixed I find another issue to focus on as the reason for my anxiety because it won't subside. In other words the house is footing the blame for how I feel when in reality I think it's the following.
My journey to work is twice as long,
I'm not overly in love with the Village,
I don't love the house,
I feel very unsettled overall,
I don't like the quiet,
The dark makes me feel unsafe, (used to streetlights)
The only thing I have not considered til now is we live about 200 meters from a electricity pylon and whether this is having an effect on my mental health, anyone got any thoughts on that?
Can anyone give me any help on this? Whether you've had issues after moving? whether you got over it?what caused your Anxiety after moving?
I'm usually Mr calm and collected but since moving I'm a wreck and I fear ruining my relationship, destroying myself and being unhappy further more. Can anyone relate to my actions, same or similar.
Sorry for this being so long but without the full account I don't think anyone can truly understand my position.
While I've only been in the house for 4 months i'm already considering moving back to or near where I used to live, and I feel some guilt for wasting money (stamp duty and solicitors fees £20k) I feel it's the only way to get back on track, my Partner is being very supportive but I know it will break her heart to leave, however I think she wants the old me back more than the current me and the house.