Hi, I'm new and a bit of a mess

[Shelle1300]

Hi, I'm currently signed off work due to stress. The stress has been an ongoing problem but I've buried my head in the sand and carried on. I felt (still do feel) like I was being stupid and I felt like im letting everyone down (even more so now I'm off work). I won't go into all the back story behind the stress but I have just handed in my new sickness certificate for another 2 week, currently had 2 weeks off. My daughter works part time with me and my manager has asked her if I'm having a nice time off and enjoying myself.
I feel even worse now. I know that work colleagues talk about you when you're absent but I feel so fake now.
Part of me is really upset, ashamed and even more worried to go back and another part wants to go storming in there and say yes I'm having a fabulous time not sleeping, feeling so worked up that I actually am sick and can't eat, I can't seem to string 2 thoughts together or make any kind of decisions about even the smallest things as I can't trust that what I'm doing is right.
Im not sure why I've even putting the post to be honest. I just feel like I'm crazy.

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya Shelle1300 and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[Chick100]

Hi, I'm currently signed off work due to stress. The stress has been an ongoing problem but I've buried my head in the sand and carried on. I felt (still do feel) like I was being stupid and I felt like im letting everyone down (even more so now I'm off work). I won't go into all the back story behind the stress but I have just handed in my new sickness certificate for another 2 week, currently had 2 weeks off. My daughter works part time with me and my manager has asked her if I'm having a nice time off and enjoying myself.
I feel even worse now. I know that work colleagues talk about you when you're absent but I feel so fake now.
Part of me is really upset, ashamed and even more worried to go back and another part wants to go storming in there and say yes I'm having a fabulous time not sleeping, feeling so worked up that I actually am sick and can't eat, I can't seem to string 2 thoughts together or make any kind of decisions about even the smallest things as I can't trust that what I'm doing is right.
Im not sure why I've even putting the post to be honest. I just feel like I'm crazy.

Dear Shelle1300.

You are not crazy, just anxious and I can relate to everything you are saying. Piling guilt on yourself and feeling you are letting everyone down is all part of anxiety, its like our minds play cruel tricks on us, thinking up the most horrible thoughts imaginable, that seem to replay over and over again until they do make us sick! BUT with help you will get through this. I know because I have been there .
I´m guessing your doctor has prescribed something for you, hang in there, meds take a while to work, but are needed. You might also be offered counseling, the thought of this is often scary, but it really helps too. Ask your doctor if he or she can give you a relaxation CD, this is not just nature sounds or calming music, but a series of exercises you follow in order to release tension. Again its something you need to practice a lot, but eventually does bring relief even in the case of extreme anxiety.
I have a series of self help books too by DR Claire Weekes. I call them my bibles :) They were written a long time ago, so seem quite old fashioned when you read them, but her explanation of the anxiety state, and ways to cope cannot be beaten in my opinion.
Please know that you will not be in this hell forever, it will pass.
Sending a hug your way and hope you feel better very soon. You are not alone or crazy, just going through a bad time :flowers: xx

[Cat64]

Hi Shelle, I've only found this site in the past few days. I can absolutely relate. I really thought I was coping till I wasn't. I found out that my boss told one of my colleagues that I'd had a panic attack and that's why I'm off. Like you I feel very angry and worried about returning to work. I need to go to doctor tomorrow to get my second certificate. I have a panic attack every time I leave the house, so that's going to be fun. :wacko:

Try not to let your managers comments get to you. He doesn't understand and that's his problem, not yours.

Try not to worry about colleagues views. When we are this anxious we always think the worst. You may find that many of them are sympathetic. If they have never experienced severe symptoms like us they can't understand.

Did you get any medication? I'm on Citalopram. Still waiting for it to show any signs of working.

I've also been reffered for a group session of CBT, on 25th. I'm so terrified of going, just thinking about it makes me very anxious.

Chin up gal.

Cx

[Shelle1300]

Hi Cat, my doctor prescribed Sertraline and Zopiclone. Currently having a few unpleasant side effects from the Sertraline though.
I think part of my problem is the guilt I feel but guilt about absolutely everything and anything is one of my issues :)
On a plus note, all the stress triggers off the cleaning OCD so the house has never looked better.

[Chick100]

Hi Shelle, I've only found this site in the past few days. I can absolutely relate. I really thought I was coping till I wasn't. I found out that my boss told one of my colleagues that I'd had a panic attack and that's why I'm off. Like you I feel very angry and worried about returning to work. I need to go to doctor tomorrow to get my second certificate. I have a panic attack every time I leave the house, so that's going to be fun. :wacko:

Try not to let your managers comments get to you. He doesn't understand and that's his problem, not yours.

Try not to worry about colleagues views. When we are this anxious we always think the worst. You may find that many of them are sympathetic. If they have never experienced severe symptoms like us they can't understand.

Did you get any medication? I'm on Citalopram. Still waiting for it to show any signs of working.

I've also been reffered for a group session of CBT, on 25th. I'm so terrified of going, just thinking about it makes me very anxious.

Chin up gal.

Cx

hi cat64.

I have never had a group CBT experience but had sessions one to one with counselors in the past. I can fully relate to this making you even more anxious, I know that feeling, but it does help. Maybe having the support of others with similar problems will help too. Its always nice to know we are not alone, or the only person to be suffering with our nerves.

Great comment to Shelle by the way, and spot on :)

[season]

Have a look in the Chat room. There are many of us so helpful to each other and I honestly believe you will find it refreshing to make so many new friends. Stay strong and positive and if you can read the Dr Claire weeks books it really starts to put things into perspective. Self help for nerves is a very good read. Sending hugs x:welcome: