Healthworrier95
17-09-17, 20:36
10 months ago I started with terrible health anxiety and since then I havnt been myself at all. I can't cope with day to day life because of the symptoms and worrying about possibilities which ultimatly stops me from living my life the way o should be.
It all started when I began worrying about a brain tumour, headaches daily that lasted Afew months last December. I then went on to have an MRI scan that came back clear and settled me a little but by this point I had began to worry about MS which ultimatly has been my worst worry altogether. My legs began gonig numb, cold feet and bad blood circulation where my toes would go white with 2 pairs of socks on in bed, hand tremors mainly in my left hand, muscle twitches all over my body and a really weak left arm that sometimes gets uncomfortable when I put my makeup on. After numerous visits to the doctors I eventually took reassurance and the symptoms eased off a little (I believe this is because I tried not to Google anything about it at the time). It then started with my stomach and throat, lumps in the back of my throats I was convinced where cancer. I had stomach acid daily and awful acid that had me downing gaviscon from the bottle hourly. My stomach then became the problem with pain in the left side/central at the top near my ribs. This has still not fully gone, however I was sent for an encoscopy that confirmed everything once again as okay.
I then settled for a while being able to cope with daily life and enjoy things with minimal worries other than the tremor in my left hand that never fully went away. This was not really noticable until I started a new job in June that required a steady hand. This really began to stress me out noticing my hand not feeling in full control, it is so minimal that it is hardly noticable to anyone other than myself but I feel weak in my arm and it distressed me greatly. I went to the doctor who told me it was most likely an essential tremor that would ease off when I could fully recover from stress.
After having such a good little run though and feeling like I was finally on the mend I accidentally stumbled across an article about MS. Stupidly (I know) I read it thinking that it wouldn't bother me anymore as that phase was over worrying about that. However reading it I began to read things that made me think the condition was more like me now that what I originally imagined all them months ago, I think this is because all that time ago I was to nervous to actually fully read about the condition and knew not much. However after this, surprise surprise I began to worry again, my leg has been on and off numb again, my left hand is numb of a morning to the point it feels like someone else's, I'm coming home from work exhausted and having to go to bed, twitches, tremor and the worst part now is I feel dizzy daily! This has been gonig on for a month which is really distressing me. My eyes flicker and I feel like I can't fully concerntrate on things especially driving. It is making me feel sick. I went to the opticians who said my eyes looked fine and there was no sign of anything nasty and it was a mystery why I feel dizzy, I also visited the doctor who neurologically examined me and said I wouldn't be tested for MS in my current state.
I am having counselling in which unfortunately I don't feel is helping all that much, I believe that this is because I am very aware of my anxiety I just can't get it out of my head that something could be wrong too and just hasn't been found yet, it is also so hard to try and accept that nothing is up ewhen the symptoms are constant even though you are aware of your anxiety. Maybe it is because I am just far to scared of it and can't fully fight the worry constantly. I am on tablets which was my last resort however I feel like they are doing nothing for me.
I'm at the end of my tether, I've had that much reassurance that I feel like people are fed up of me and I also like I've heard the same thing 1000 times which just hasn't put me st ease. As my mum says I believe I am overly frightened and just far to stubborn with the fear to accept it's simple just anxiety. I'm only 22 and feel like crying when I see my friends living their life and moving on and I can't even look after myself no more, I feel on my own and so so scared.
I understand that reassurance is not always the answer for someone in my state as I'll probably still worry about it, however is love to hear some similar stories or experiences that make me feel not as alone. I'd also even more so love to hear how anyone who has experienced this has got over it and managed to take their life back.
Thanks.
Amy
It all started when I began worrying about a brain tumour, headaches daily that lasted Afew months last December. I then went on to have an MRI scan that came back clear and settled me a little but by this point I had began to worry about MS which ultimatly has been my worst worry altogether. My legs began gonig numb, cold feet and bad blood circulation where my toes would go white with 2 pairs of socks on in bed, hand tremors mainly in my left hand, muscle twitches all over my body and a really weak left arm that sometimes gets uncomfortable when I put my makeup on. After numerous visits to the doctors I eventually took reassurance and the symptoms eased off a little (I believe this is because I tried not to Google anything about it at the time). It then started with my stomach and throat, lumps in the back of my throats I was convinced where cancer. I had stomach acid daily and awful acid that had me downing gaviscon from the bottle hourly. My stomach then became the problem with pain in the left side/central at the top near my ribs. This has still not fully gone, however I was sent for an encoscopy that confirmed everything once again as okay.
I then settled for a while being able to cope with daily life and enjoy things with minimal worries other than the tremor in my left hand that never fully went away. This was not really noticable until I started a new job in June that required a steady hand. This really began to stress me out noticing my hand not feeling in full control, it is so minimal that it is hardly noticable to anyone other than myself but I feel weak in my arm and it distressed me greatly. I went to the doctor who told me it was most likely an essential tremor that would ease off when I could fully recover from stress.
After having such a good little run though and feeling like I was finally on the mend I accidentally stumbled across an article about MS. Stupidly (I know) I read it thinking that it wouldn't bother me anymore as that phase was over worrying about that. However reading it I began to read things that made me think the condition was more like me now that what I originally imagined all them months ago, I think this is because all that time ago I was to nervous to actually fully read about the condition and knew not much. However after this, surprise surprise I began to worry again, my leg has been on and off numb again, my left hand is numb of a morning to the point it feels like someone else's, I'm coming home from work exhausted and having to go to bed, twitches, tremor and the worst part now is I feel dizzy daily! This has been gonig on for a month which is really distressing me. My eyes flicker and I feel like I can't fully concerntrate on things especially driving. It is making me feel sick. I went to the opticians who said my eyes looked fine and there was no sign of anything nasty and it was a mystery why I feel dizzy, I also visited the doctor who neurologically examined me and said I wouldn't be tested for MS in my current state.
I am having counselling in which unfortunately I don't feel is helping all that much, I believe that this is because I am very aware of my anxiety I just can't get it out of my head that something could be wrong too and just hasn't been found yet, it is also so hard to try and accept that nothing is up ewhen the symptoms are constant even though you are aware of your anxiety. Maybe it is because I am just far to scared of it and can't fully fight the worry constantly. I am on tablets which was my last resort however I feel like they are doing nothing for me.
I'm at the end of my tether, I've had that much reassurance that I feel like people are fed up of me and I also like I've heard the same thing 1000 times which just hasn't put me st ease. As my mum says I believe I am overly frightened and just far to stubborn with the fear to accept it's simple just anxiety. I'm only 22 and feel like crying when I see my friends living their life and moving on and I can't even look after myself no more, I feel on my own and so so scared.
I understand that reassurance is not always the answer for someone in my state as I'll probably still worry about it, however is love to hear some similar stories or experiences that make me feel not as alone. I'd also even more so love to hear how anyone who has experienced this has got over it and managed to take their life back.
Thanks.
Amy