Not doing well today

[Leah88]

As you know from previous posts I have an obsession with Werner syndrome. I've believed for about 2.5 years now that I have it and the only way to be sure is a genetic mapping test. I was doing quite well over the last few months and then I read an article this morning about parental age causing rare genetic mutations and now I'm spiralling. I feel like my fate is sealed and there's no hope for me. I'm so sad

[MyNameIsTerry]

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time, Leah :hugs:

I think that these blips get easily to manage as you learn to deal with them but early on they are very hard work and feel soul destroying. But you reduced th anxiety before so you can do it again and there is a big difference between a more short-lived blip and sliding backwards so be wary to judge things on the strength of a few days as it could abate.

The fact you haven't pursued all these tests and even moreso managed to get on with life without the anxiety shows that it's about doubt. And part of the doubt is doubting that the anxiety means it is anything more because otherwise someone who really does feel they have something would keep pushing as it wouldn't make sense not to.

The article has been a trigger, you will learn to stop yourself reacting to them as you work on your recovery but it's hard to turn off the subconscious without retraining it first which takes time. So, don't beat yourself up as it only brings on low mood.

[Leah88]

Thanks for your reply Terry. The thing is, the reason I don't push for the test is because there is no cure and the outcome is usually the same. I think if I found out I had it, I would never be able to carry on whereas if I'm not certain then I can still hold onto some hope. I wish it were because I doubted I had it deep down.