Help!! Son Had His First Attack!!

[samtheman]

I've been tortured with panic attacks and generalised anxiety best part of my life and now it appears today my son is going down the same route.

He's only 3 had his first school trip today so my wife went with him, they got on the bus he started shaking, sweating and roaring with fear, my other half didn't know what was wrong with him but I knew straight away, he cried the hole time they where on this trip and coming home.

My father was tortured with anxiety although he'd never admit it but I know, he's the exact same as me, quiet,has no friends, never goes out, is easily angered.

He passed it to me now I have passed it on, is there no end to this. I mean my son is only 3 and his life is effectivly ruined.

[mackncody]

I'm so sorrry for your little one. His life isn't over. You'll help him (sorry i'm on my sleeping pills for bed, il'll add more tomorrow.

:yesyes::bighug1: :bighug: :bighug: :okay: :hugs: :hugs: :yesyes:
:flowers:

[laura84]

It's not your fault that your poor son has this condition and also he may not! There's every possibility it may have been a temporary tantrum, or a fear that's unrelated to anxiety disorders! I did a lot of study on child development for my psychology degree and it's very normal that kids have these things happen to them, and if it is, your wisdom and guidance will help him....Huge huge hugs to you both

[michellemumof4]

Hi

As a mother of four children i have had the same exsperiences with my children, to be honest it sounds more like a tantrum , it is how we deal with it that matters, too many children are labelled these days - it is only my opinion but i would ignore it...........

dont know if this will help

but good luck

[PUGLETMUM]

this is so weird samtheman as ive been going thru the same thing for the past 3 months with my 9 year old and it is heartbreaking. but you do have to keep in mind that WE anxious people are overly concerned with this stuff and we can read more into it than is really there!

now i know for a fact that my daughter is suffering, because shes checking and shes become unhappy about her fear of being left alone.

this started when she got a place with a competitive swimming club thru going on the council swim scheme, this means she goes to pools in the town, not our own pool, she has to PERFORM, as in prove she can do it and keep up etc etc, she had to mix with a bunch of strange kids and get to know them, and this led to her being worried about seeing us when she was in the pool, although we are members of the gyms and i felt it was better to go in the gym than sit time after time watching. now ive continued to remind her of all the things shes acheived - keep being POSITIVE!!!!!

to cut a very long story a bit shorter, i was wracked with anxiety at the same time over my fear of panicking alone, and she developed this!!! arrrrgggghhhhhh

anyway again its how you think about it, we are best placed to help them by NOT avoiding even if thats really what we want to do, we have to try and give them the skills that we are lacking etc etc, and remember we are human and we cant be perfect and somewhere we will probably give our kids problems in one form or another, most people do!!! its part of parenthood, the only thing is that we get more worked up about it.

all the best

keep chatting

[blackie]

Hiya
Its not uncommon for a child to have a panic attack. It doesnt mean they are going to have an anxity disorder. Infact alot of people both children and adults have a panic attack as a one off and think nothing more of it.
I can understand why you are worried though. The only advice i can give is dont make a big fuss out of it infront of your son as that will worry him. Also just keep an eye out for anymore panic like symptoms, but this could well be a one off.
Try not to worry hun
Blackie

[josephine]

Hi,

I have an 11 year old son and he is quite a little worrier. I worry that i have passed on my anxiety, not by him seeing me but i think it is in his genes.
He gets very nervous in school plays, more so than his friends and hates doing any performing. He shakes and looks so scared. Just like me about 30 years ago.

I also think he is very strong and takes after his dad alot. I was far worse than him at his age. My son feels anxiety and moves through it. I admire him for that. I hope he has a better life than me. He is a clever boy and has so many opportunitys coming his way. I hope anxiety doesnt rob him of them.

I think you shouldnt worry about your son. Every time i get on a bus ther is usually a little one having a scream up. I think it is quite a normal response for toddlers to be scared of new things.

Josephinex

[breeze25]

It could be a tantrum, its only natural to think and feel the way you do. My hubby has ulcertive colitis and everytime our son mentions a belly ache, or blood in poo (turned out to be tomato) he hubby goes into panic mode and thinks he is developing his condition.

3 is a young age and they are prone to tantrums at that age, my son used to go bright red, shake, and refuse to get into the car, all because he didn't want to go shopping and stay at home and play trains.

[kimmy]

Im really sorry but I do feel you are putting 'you' onto others! I do not mean that to be offensive, you say you know your father had it? How would you exactly- just because he is quite and dosent socialize doesnt mean he was tortured by it. As for your 3 year old son- I truely hand on heart dont think it was a panic attack at all. Hes 3!! 3 year olds have anxiety thats all part of their age, they learn new thing and sadley anxiety is part of it all. ALL his symptoms sound like a 3 year old whos anxious and doesnt want to do what he was doing. Im sorry If I sound blunt but I do feel 'you' too much in your son and father and your anxiety is to blame.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[beadbabe]

Hi there
As a mum of a three year old and five year old boy, you really shouldn't think that this is happening to him. HE IS ONLY THREE. It is entirely normal for children (and adults for that matter) to be frightened of new things. Children get separation anxiety - nearly all of them Even babies get that. It doesn't mean they are set up for a lifetime of panic and anxiety.

Kids try all sorts to get out of things they don't want to do or to get things you don't want them to have. And they are extreme versions of ourselves! all their behaviours eventually (I mean hopefully too :) ) tone down and they become more reasonable individuals!

Please put these fears on hold and concentrate on getting yourself better to show your child how best to lead a happy and fulfilled life as a confident person. As someone who has problems as a grown-up in these areas, I know that this will be one of your priorities as a parent! I know I would hate my boys to turn out like me!

[groovygranny]

Hello Sam,

It's awful watching our kids go through stressful situations isn't it?

When my daughter was not much younger than your son, she totally freaked out at a firework display. There was just no consoling her, and I was at a loss what to do about it. We just had to 'ride the wave' so to speak until it was over.

Although she has always been quite a little worrier, it never happened to such intensity again - and she even 'did' Australia 2 years ago on her own and thouroughly enjoyed the New Year 2006 Sydney firework display !!.

I think sometimes, understandably, we make the assumption that because a parent had anxiety we therefore will follow and subsequently our own children too. I thought this was the case with me and my mother. But it is not. Although environmentally there were similarities, i.e I always wondered why my mum would get jumpy and shaky in certain situations, it doesn't mean we are pre-destined to suffer the same anxieties in the same way.

I agree with what has been said already - it is far too soon to be arriving at any conclusions, distressing for you though it was to see, and your son was probably behaving very normally over something that only he may know upset him. And he won't remember it in years to come!

You are in the process of combating your anxiety and this is the best testimony you can give your son.

Hope you feel better soon, please try not to worry too much.

:hugs:

[Lindalou64]

Hi Im Sorry To Hear That As Parents Who Suffer We Tend To Beat Ourselves Up About This,both My Boys Also Experience Anxiety,but Since Im Knockledge On This Its Good To Catch It Soon,ya Know What I Mean,one Son When He Was 8 Had Them In School After A Month Or 2 They Subsided Now My 22 Yr Old Has Them In Restauraunts But Listen To Them I Dont Offer To Talk About It Only If He Wants Too Since I Seem To Find The Sympyoms Linger, Maybe He Did Just Have A Tantrum Seems Very Young Just Keep Ya Eye On Him But Dont Blame Yaeself Its Not Our Fault Just Like With Any Other Disorder Or Disease,....i Wish Yas The Best................linda Xx

[jill]

Hi Sam,

How is your little one now hun?

I can understand your fears, but please don't do this to yourself, it will tear you apart.

There are lots of little ones out there that have this prob on there first trip, they are little people and can't understand there own feelings, so when they do something that is different, they feel uncomfortable, but the more they do the thing, the better they like it.

My advice would be, is to keep an eye on him, ask your partner to take him on more bus rides, train rides, make it fun for him. Encourge him to see the fun in doing these things.

Don't mention the last trip to him, going over things about the last trip is not going to help, instead, focus more on building his confidence for the next one.

I am no expert on panic, anxiety, suffered with them myself a few years ago, also my daughter suffered pa's, anxiety from a young age, don't raelly want to go into my daughter probs, it may contain triggers.

Sam, this could be just a one off with your son, you are a good father and I can see your concerns, but please don't think you have passed anything on to him, this will only feed your own anxiety.

If you feel I can be of any help, please pm me.

Let us know how things are going with your little one.

YOU TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXX