Firstprime
27-09-17, 20:03
I've been scared of lymphoma and several other cancers/conditions for 8+ years now since I discovered my first lump. I thought I'd been through the worst of it last year but lately I've got some scary new symptoms and my HA is back with a vengeance. I've spilled my guts below to get it out of my head, and if anyone cares to read my ramblings I would love to hear any thoughts or advice you might have. My HA is as bad or worse than it's ever been, and if anyone has anything to share that you think may help I would be so very grateful. My current issues start half way down, that rest is about my HA history and everything I've had.
OLDER ISSUES: This ended up pretty long and rambling,
8-9 years ago I found 2 hard lumps, one behind my right ear and one a few inces behind it on the back of by head. This is the first time I googled symptoms, and the beginnig of hy HA. I didn't get them checked out, and in the years to come I would occasionally get concerned about them, though never on a fully HA level.
2 years ago I found a new painful lump on my neck, above my adams apple, and it scared me so much that I developed full blown health anxiety. Over the next year I became a nervous wreck, in and out of my college doctor, my GP, and even to hospital a few times.
Over that year I discovered more lumps around the same area, one on either side of my neck, and smaller ones around my body; some of which hurt occasionally. I got pains across my chest. I started worrying about moles I've had since childhood, and freaking out about a new ones that popped up. I felt every inch of my body and worried over every lump and bump. I got pains and aches all over. I developed eczema, which I hadn't really had since I was a young child, and started noticing and worrying ithing all over my body. At one point I even had a ton of bowel issues including blood in my poops, which concluded with a finger in the butt and another unconcerned doctor.
I've had my lumps felt by several doctors, all of which we completely unconcerned. I've had a chest X-ray, two blood tests, an ultrasound of the lump near my adams apple, which included my thyroid, and a few other tests. These all quelled my anxiety afterwards, but I worry on reflection because I've never shown one doctor all of the things I'm worried about, and also the obvious fear that they missed something.
RECENT ISSUES: Recently I've been having a few new issues and my anxiety is getting really bad again. I've had night sweats a few times last three months, occurring around 10 times during that period. This has really worried me a lot as it's one symptom I never really had before. I'm a very hot person and I've always become hot and sweaty in bed easily, but this was drenching, and very distinct. A few times I almost though I has wet the bed. By the time I came to change the sheets earlier today ther was a very odd musky smell off of the bed, not much like sweat at all.
I've had a mild cough for a while now, possibly related to allergies, but for the last week or two I've had a frequent cough and sore/rough throat, and occasionally shallow breathing, similar to how it feels when having a mild allergic reaction. I've been extremely anxious during this period, and I've also had a lot of gas, possibly indigestion. I've been especially itchy lately too, which really hasn't helped. Last week I noticed two little hard lumps on my cheeks. I was absentmindedly picking at them at work a few days ago and I picked them off by accident. They scbbed over, and that evening I noticed that an existing lump/node by my right earlobe was swollen and sore. I don't know if they're related but it has me very anxious. The lumps at the side of my neck have also been especially tender and my neck feels very hot on both sides. On top of all this, with my anxiety, sleeping issues, and work, I've only been getting ~6 hours sleep most nights for the last month or two.
As I write this my breath is wheezy, my stomach is cramped, the lumps in my neck hurt and the sides of my neck are really hot, I have random aches, pains, and itches all over, bad gas, and I just can't stop worrying about everything.
I have so many symptoms that I find it impossible to convince myself that I'm okay. My main point of rationale is that I've had the lumps that started all this for 8+ years, and that surely that's too long for it to be anything serious. But my anxiety makes that into a negative too. My mind says that something is very wrong since these new symptoms have started, but I also know that my anxiety has been building over recent months and I just don't know if it could be related. I had a similar build up and explosion of anxiety acompanied by physicsl symptoms last year during my first bout, though perhaps to a lesser degree. Of course I want to believe that it is nothing, but can only ever assume the worst.
I'm going to the doctor within the next week, and I plan to lay out everything I'm concerned about. I don't know what I plan to accomplish with this except maybe clearing my head, but if anyone has any advice or comments about my situation I would appreciate it immensely. Has anyone had similar experiences, similar symptoms, to mine? I'm an absolute wreck right now and and any help or advice, even criticism, is more than welcome. I'd love to know how this looks from the outside. How crazy do I look? How would you view this? How worried would you feel if you had similar symptoms, and if you have had similar, how did yo get through it?
I'll probably post this in some shorter form that anyone could ever reasonably be expected to read later when I've got my head together...
OLDER ISSUES: This ended up pretty long and rambling,
8-9 years ago I found 2 hard lumps, one behind my right ear and one a few inces behind it on the back of by head. This is the first time I googled symptoms, and the beginnig of hy HA. I didn't get them checked out, and in the years to come I would occasionally get concerned about them, though never on a fully HA level.
2 years ago I found a new painful lump on my neck, above my adams apple, and it scared me so much that I developed full blown health anxiety. Over the next year I became a nervous wreck, in and out of my college doctor, my GP, and even to hospital a few times.
Over that year I discovered more lumps around the same area, one on either side of my neck, and smaller ones around my body; some of which hurt occasionally. I got pains across my chest. I started worrying about moles I've had since childhood, and freaking out about a new ones that popped up. I felt every inch of my body and worried over every lump and bump. I got pains and aches all over. I developed eczema, which I hadn't really had since I was a young child, and started noticing and worrying ithing all over my body. At one point I even had a ton of bowel issues including blood in my poops, which concluded with a finger in the butt and another unconcerned doctor.
I've had my lumps felt by several doctors, all of which we completely unconcerned. I've had a chest X-ray, two blood tests, an ultrasound of the lump near my adams apple, which included my thyroid, and a few other tests. These all quelled my anxiety afterwards, but I worry on reflection because I've never shown one doctor all of the things I'm worried about, and also the obvious fear that they missed something.
RECENT ISSUES: Recently I've been having a few new issues and my anxiety is getting really bad again. I've had night sweats a few times last three months, occurring around 10 times during that period. This has really worried me a lot as it's one symptom I never really had before. I'm a very hot person and I've always become hot and sweaty in bed easily, but this was drenching, and very distinct. A few times I almost though I has wet the bed. By the time I came to change the sheets earlier today ther was a very odd musky smell off of the bed, not much like sweat at all.
I've had a mild cough for a while now, possibly related to allergies, but for the last week or two I've had a frequent cough and sore/rough throat, and occasionally shallow breathing, similar to how it feels when having a mild allergic reaction. I've been extremely anxious during this period, and I've also had a lot of gas, possibly indigestion. I've been especially itchy lately too, which really hasn't helped. Last week I noticed two little hard lumps on my cheeks. I was absentmindedly picking at them at work a few days ago and I picked them off by accident. They scbbed over, and that evening I noticed that an existing lump/node by my right earlobe was swollen and sore. I don't know if they're related but it has me very anxious. The lumps at the side of my neck have also been especially tender and my neck feels very hot on both sides. On top of all this, with my anxiety, sleeping issues, and work, I've only been getting ~6 hours sleep most nights for the last month or two.
As I write this my breath is wheezy, my stomach is cramped, the lumps in my neck hurt and the sides of my neck are really hot, I have random aches, pains, and itches all over, bad gas, and I just can't stop worrying about everything.
I have so many symptoms that I find it impossible to convince myself that I'm okay. My main point of rationale is that I've had the lumps that started all this for 8+ years, and that surely that's too long for it to be anything serious. But my anxiety makes that into a negative too. My mind says that something is very wrong since these new symptoms have started, but I also know that my anxiety has been building over recent months and I just don't know if it could be related. I had a similar build up and explosion of anxiety acompanied by physicsl symptoms last year during my first bout, though perhaps to a lesser degree. Of course I want to believe that it is nothing, but can only ever assume the worst.
I'm going to the doctor within the next week, and I plan to lay out everything I'm concerned about. I don't know what I plan to accomplish with this except maybe clearing my head, but if anyone has any advice or comments about my situation I would appreciate it immensely. Has anyone had similar experiences, similar symptoms, to mine? I'm an absolute wreck right now and and any help or advice, even criticism, is more than welcome. I'd love to know how this looks from the outside. How crazy do I look? How would you view this? How worried would you feel if you had similar symptoms, and if you have had similar, how did yo get through it?
I'll probably post this in some shorter form that anyone could ever reasonably be expected to read later when I've got my head together...