jaynespain3105
28-09-17, 12:05
I have managed to resist posting in here for a while and of late my HA has been a lot better. This summer's obsession with moles had started to wane away. Then an appointment I had made for a full body mole check starting looming (it's tomorrow) and I started obsessively checking mole again. Sort of to pre empt anything surprising me at my appointment.
I am quite good at keeping an eye on my moles. But this week I feel that the first time perhaps ever I looked at a mole at the top back of my leg properly for the first time ever. It's always been there, at least since I was a teenager. And at a glance in the mirror it never stood out to me in any way. But I siddently looked closely at it in good light and realised it's a pretty worrying looking mole.
Down the rabbit hole of Dr Google I go. As if I could know any more about what Google has to say about melanoma than I already do. I fed it through the skin vision app roughly 20 times. It comes back as medium risk. It is irregular shaped (not unusual for my moles) 6mm at it's larger diameter, 3 colours (2 shades of brown is quite normal for my moles but this has an area of pink too). I don't know if it has always looked like that. I have gone through all my photos and can only find photos from a distance showing it was always there but no up close shots.
It isn't bleeding, or ulcerating or itchy or anything like. The surface is smooth. It's just very irregular.
I am not looking for reassurance as I know you can't give me that but I just wanted somewhere to talk about it as I am really nervous about tomorrow. I thought about cancelling and just going to my GP but feel that as the mole check clinic can use a dermascope on me tomorrow I may as well keep that appointment and get their opinion before seeing my GP. Which I will do on Monday unless the screening appointment miraculously reassures me. I just feel so mad at myself that I could miss this mole. I mean, I have a lot, but how could I not know if it has changed or not?
I am bracing myself for tomorrow. I have to travel roughly 2 hours for my appointment on my own. I am not sure how I will get through it.
On the positive side I am assuming the fact that it isn't itching, raised, bleeding etc. Will likely mean that if it is melanoma I will have caught it reasonably early. Based case scenario it could be an atypical mole. If it hasn't changed then I will have had it checked before as I've had them all he looked at.
After this I am definitely booking in for a mole map so this doesn't happen again.
Will let you know what they say tomorrow.
I am quite good at keeping an eye on my moles. But this week I feel that the first time perhaps ever I looked at a mole at the top back of my leg properly for the first time ever. It's always been there, at least since I was a teenager. And at a glance in the mirror it never stood out to me in any way. But I siddently looked closely at it in good light and realised it's a pretty worrying looking mole.
Down the rabbit hole of Dr Google I go. As if I could know any more about what Google has to say about melanoma than I already do. I fed it through the skin vision app roughly 20 times. It comes back as medium risk. It is irregular shaped (not unusual for my moles) 6mm at it's larger diameter, 3 colours (2 shades of brown is quite normal for my moles but this has an area of pink too). I don't know if it has always looked like that. I have gone through all my photos and can only find photos from a distance showing it was always there but no up close shots.
It isn't bleeding, or ulcerating or itchy or anything like. The surface is smooth. It's just very irregular.
I am not looking for reassurance as I know you can't give me that but I just wanted somewhere to talk about it as I am really nervous about tomorrow. I thought about cancelling and just going to my GP but feel that as the mole check clinic can use a dermascope on me tomorrow I may as well keep that appointment and get their opinion before seeing my GP. Which I will do on Monday unless the screening appointment miraculously reassures me. I just feel so mad at myself that I could miss this mole. I mean, I have a lot, but how could I not know if it has changed or not?
I am bracing myself for tomorrow. I have to travel roughly 2 hours for my appointment on my own. I am not sure how I will get through it.
On the positive side I am assuming the fact that it isn't itching, raised, bleeding etc. Will likely mean that if it is melanoma I will have caught it reasonably early. Based case scenario it could be an atypical mole. If it hasn't changed then I will have had it checked before as I've had them all he looked at.
After this I am definitely booking in for a mole map so this doesn't happen again.
Will let you know what they say tomorrow.