Depresssion

[LoopyLou]

Hi All,

I feel I have to post this message as I feel so bad at the moment. I visited this site for the first time a few weeks ago to get advice on how to overcome panic attacks and anxiety and was overwhelmed by the kindness of everyone. I have read hundreds of posts to try to get tips on beating these things and have even managed to give up drinking (two weeks and counting) I really thought things where starting to improve, as I've been watching me diet, no booze, trying to keep the stress levels down and then yesterday on the way home from work I started crying for no reason, the tears where filling up in my eyes I could hardly see, and for the next two hours I just sobbed and sobbed. I phoned my Mum and Sister, I didn't let them know how I felt just wanted to hear someones voice. It seems that as well as having the fear of the panic attacks and anxiety God has decided to throw in a massive big fat lump of depression to add insult to injury. I have suffered with depression in the past but not for along time now. I even had the thought cross my mind yesterday just for a split second to end it all. I am dreading going home for Christmas as I know all my family will be happy and having a good drink and looking forward to the new year and I just feel like I should lock myself away here as I'll just put a downer on it all and ruin everything. I know it may have alot to do with the drink, I know I can't have it cause it will bring on an attack but I just think "why I can't I do normal things like have an effin half lager if I fancy one" sorry for my tone, I am just so unhappy, I am even[V] getting anxious about going christmas shopping as my first attack happened while out shopping on my own, I know I have to carry on as normal but anyone who has suffered with depression will know you feel like you are in a big black deep pit and there's no way out.

I just want to get back to how I used to be, no cares, no worries..happy.

If anyone has any words of help they would be so appreciated.

Laura

Trying to smile when your sad is like skiing backwards up a hill with no ski's.

[davebrum]

hi laura
this one is for you HUG
im sorry to hear you are having a rough time , but hey WOW think of all you have achieved recently this is just a glitch im sure.we all have them its learning to take the next step and carrying on fightng for recovery that counts. well done on what you have achieved so far its inspirational to hear
xx david

[Meg]

Laura,

I wouldn't look at your sudden crying fit as a bad thing at all.

Tears are the natural way to calm and cleanse and they shift a whole lot of internal energy that you may have been keeping pent up for a long time.

Think of your sobbing as an internal spring clean and not as depression setting in.
Its normal to feel some self pity when suffering with panic but it does pass and the smiles return.

With Christmas you may be able to have a drink by then and if you're still really sensitive there are lots of alcohol free drinks you can have these days . Nic is an expert so ask her for recommendations.

Well done for making progress and *I really thought things where starting to improve,* get back to this stage soon and then on to the next step up.




Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk

You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[seh1980]

hi Laura,

I agree with Meg. Crying normally makes us feel better and it is just something we do in order to get rid of lots on negative energy. Also, this one incident doesn't mean that you have become depressed!! Lots of people cry for apparently no reason and it doesn't mean a thing. I'm sure that once Christmas arrives, your family's good mood will rub off on you and you will all have a nice time together!! Take care.

Sarah :D

[nomorepanic]

Hi Laura

I like a good cry. I had tears welling up in my eyes last night cos I had a bad drive home. It really does work too - it releases all sorts of tension.

As for drinking .... alcohol can make panic worse so you need to have it in moderation. I have been cutting down a lot recently and had to give up for 3 weeks on docs advice for some blood tests.

I found some really nice low alcohol lager in Sainsburys (their own branded stuff) so if you can't handle the likes of Kaliber etc then it is quite a nice taste.

I also lived on Eisberg for a while and found some grape juice drinks too.

You can have the odd drink or 2 just try to limit it and you will be fine.

Christmas shopping - I am doing a lot of it online cos I am not a great fan of shopping. We have loads of sites we can recommend and ebay is serving me well this year too.

You can do this and with some support from us here you will cope through it ok.


Nicola

[LoopyLou]

Dear All,

Firstly thanks for posting your messages, you where right about the crying, I do actually feel better today, probably just needed to let it all out so to speak, and thanks for the advice about the alternatives Nicola, I am just feeling sorry for myself and feel hard done by cause I know the drinks a trigger. My fella is going to take me out shopping today in Dublin City, might be a bit mad but he is so understanding and caring about this I know he'll understand if I have to take a minute here in there! I think alot of my problem boils down to boredom. There's not much going on in paddyland socially, I've no female friends here (have lots of male friends but that's not the same) and find that If I don't keep my mind occupied that is when it starts ticking over. I really want to do something like a night course or take up a hobby, even going gym or yoga, but on your own it isn't much fun hey? Anyhoos just wanna say thanks again, it's the best thing I ever done coming on this site.


Hope you all have a good day and keep smiling!
Laura x

[Meg]

**If I don't keep my mind occupied that is when it starts ticking over**

Absolutely true . Thats why shopping queues and driving are so common. Non concentrating times.

If you were to go to yoga by yourself I can almost guarantee that after 2 sessions you'd be chatting away to other ladies there quite happily - who may then become friends.


Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk

You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[sal]

Hi Laura

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low at the moment, i personally dont think it helps this time of year when everyone is getting excited, it just highlights how low you feel.

You have done really well not having a drink, so give yourself some credit as i know how easy it is to rely on it to get you through.

I am sure your family will support you and maybe been with them will take your mind of how you are feeling. It makes it worse when you hide behind doors and sit and have too much time to think about it, i know because that is one of my biggest faults.

Take care hon.



Love Sal xxxxx