sportboy
03-10-17, 21:02
Hi.
I've been away for some time, because this forum gave me new fears, like mad cow disease and brain eating amoeba.
I write this post in health anxiety subforum, because I think most of my obessions are with my health.
But I can't understand why my OCD gets worse all the time. I wrote down my OCD thoughts in 11 hour period and I got 28 thoughts.
The most popular thoughts were thallium on my earphones and on my clothes.
Also, my car was full of toxic gas, when I got that "gas" out, then my hit and run OCD took over. Water in filter can is also poisoned all the time and I have to put new water every time I drink it. I can't sleep because I think someones throws grenade throught my window (really, I was so tired whole week, but I couldn't sleep, I had to be ready for grenade)
I had no idea that it may get so bad. I used to have these negative thoughts about some situations and fears, but now my brain just bombs all the time. Asbestos everywhere in air, thallium on my earphones, toxic gas in my car, same time I have fears that I do these things to my loved ones, like poison them or something. One night I was up till 3.30 am to check all my room, because there was a "bomb" in my room.
And now.. when I have so much to do and study in university, bat bite me again. I just noticed 2 little scratches on my hand, in october(I live in cold country in Europe) and during daytime. I still can't to focus on my homeworks.
I have appointment with psychiatrist next month.
I'm so tired of this rabies thing, I don't even react really.
I really try to be functional and go out, but it's really hard if I even can't spit on the street, because my brain thinks that someones takes my DNA and puts it on a crime scene. And then I have to go back atleast three times.
I don't even have something to ask, like what should I ask.. about bat bite? This whole forum is full of rabies and bats and I told 2 months ago to people here that they should calm down and it's impossible. Now, here I am.
I've been away for some time, because this forum gave me new fears, like mad cow disease and brain eating amoeba.
I write this post in health anxiety subforum, because I think most of my obessions are with my health.
But I can't understand why my OCD gets worse all the time. I wrote down my OCD thoughts in 11 hour period and I got 28 thoughts.
The most popular thoughts were thallium on my earphones and on my clothes.
Also, my car was full of toxic gas, when I got that "gas" out, then my hit and run OCD took over. Water in filter can is also poisoned all the time and I have to put new water every time I drink it. I can't sleep because I think someones throws grenade throught my window (really, I was so tired whole week, but I couldn't sleep, I had to be ready for grenade)
I had no idea that it may get so bad. I used to have these negative thoughts about some situations and fears, but now my brain just bombs all the time. Asbestos everywhere in air, thallium on my earphones, toxic gas in my car, same time I have fears that I do these things to my loved ones, like poison them or something. One night I was up till 3.30 am to check all my room, because there was a "bomb" in my room.
And now.. when I have so much to do and study in university, bat bite me again. I just noticed 2 little scratches on my hand, in october(I live in cold country in Europe) and during daytime. I still can't to focus on my homeworks.
I have appointment with psychiatrist next month.
I'm so tired of this rabies thing, I don't even react really.
I really try to be functional and go out, but it's really hard if I even can't spit on the street, because my brain thinks that someones takes my DNA and puts it on a crime scene. And then I have to go back atleast three times.
I don't even have something to ask, like what should I ask.. about bat bite? This whole forum is full of rabies and bats and I told 2 months ago to people here that they should calm down and it's impossible. Now, here I am.