View Full Version : Multiple Tests- Still questioning. Need suggestions!
Hi All,
I posted my story here last week. In a nutshell, I developed severe health anxiety (already diagnosed with OCD) in January. Since then, I have convinced myself of at least 14 different types of cancers and have multiple tests. I am on medication and receiving counselling. I do not use this board to post my symptoms and ask for diagnosis, but instead am looking for strategies and suggestions others have used.
Since having this health anxiety, I have had 5+ abdominal ultrasounds (fear of ovarian cancer, pancreatic cancer), 2 endoscopes (fear of stomach cancer and fear of esophageal cancer), 2 colonoscopies and 2 sigmoidoscopies (fear of colon cancer) and an MRI of my abdomen and a chest x-ray. Even after all of these tests, I struggle to believe nothing is wrong. I really struggle with unexplained symptoms and doubt.
I continue to have difficulty swallowing but recognize that if there was something like a mass in my esophagus, it would have been seen with the two endoscopes I had. My problem is that I read statistics and see that the effectiveness of diagnosis is not 100% by endoscope, so then I doubt. I have had some doubt of the 4 colonoscopies but not as strong as my fear of stomach/esophageal cancer and being missed. Recently I have also had some fear of lymphoma as that can also cause some digestive issues.
What does everyone else do to help believe tests, trust doctors and move on from this constant fear that something is wrong?
Brunamateus
04-10-17, 01:17
Hey Casey, I don't really know how to help you, I just want you to know you're not alone, I'm pregnant with intense fear of dvt due to lower leg pain that I've been having, and I've also had 4 doppler ultrasounds done all came normal but I'm still doubting, since doctors can't tell me what this pain is, I struggle really hard with it...unexplained pains are the worse :weep:
I sent you a private message. Sounds like we have some similar fears.
What is clear is that you are driving all these medical investigations - not the doctors. It seems like you have had thirteen different fairly major tests in around the past nine months, all for a number of illnesses that you think you have, most probably far less so the doctors. You need to back off now, and concentrate on treatment for your mental health problems. Multiple physical medical tests like you describe are just a very high-tech and expensive equivalent of the compulsive checking seen in OCD.
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One point that I can add. In Australia, you need a GP to order these kinds of examinations or give a referral to a specialist - I don't know how it is in Canada. However, I can't believe one GP would send you for all of these (often identical) tests in such a short period of time. Are you seeing different GPs or other doctors just so you can get more tests? If so, you need to stick with one at a time.
Capercrohnj
04-10-17, 07:04
Wow where in Canada do you live? In most places you have to wait months for tests and there is no way they'd do all those scopes in such a short period of time especially since the tax payer is paying. Must be nice! I had to wait 3 months for an MRI and I just had major surgery and a confirmed illness. How did you even get in to see all the specialists needed to get 6 scopes in 9 months as specialists also take several months to get into and no sane Dr would scope you that much.
---------- Post added at 03:04 ---------- Previous post was at 02:47 ----------
Just a bit of perspective: I have severe Crohn's and was diagnosed January 2015. So serious I have had major surgery. I have only had 2 colonoscopies, 1 endoscopy, 2 CT scans and 2 MRIs and obviously stuff was found on each of them. Any Dr who would repeat scopes in such a small amount of time when nothing is found is just playing into your anxiety.
So to clarify...in the last 9 months you have had:
More than 5 abdominal ultrasounds (does plus mean you’ve lost count?)
2 endescopes
2 colonoscopies
2 Sigmoidoscopies
1 MRI
1 chest X-ray
How many counselling sessions have you had?
Thank you for all of your responses.
Reading everyone's reaction puts it into a bit of perspective. My husband doesn't understand how I can think anything is wrong after all the tests I've had. I've been going to counselling weekly for months and have net with a psychiatrist as well. I know I need to stop with the tests.
Casey, you sound like me two years ago! I ended up with almost exactly the same concerns as you when my health anxiety spiked a few months after having my baby number three. I was suffering from post post natal health anxiety. I had acid reflux which led to nausea, loss of appetite, sore throats, difficulty swallowing, excess burping and mucus. I convinced myself of things like Oesophogeal and stomach cancer which came up when Googling. I was almost hysterical with fear at times, the anxiety (along with breastfeeding) led to me lose a stone and a half in weight which further set me off worrying. I used to get scared walking past posters of charities raising awareness of cancer symptoms or adverts about this on TV, thinking they were 'signs.' I took myself up to the doctors a couple of times a week, phoned them loads and even went to A&E three times in a panic.
Luckily, I have a strong husband and parents who recognised that I was not thinking straight and was not myself, they made me go to the doctors who immediately recognised post natal anxiety/ depression (which I hadn't had in my first two pregnancies). They put me on Sertraline and Omneprazole (for the acid reflux). My throat symptoms calmed down and the Sertraline helped after a few weeks (They take time to work). The docs also gave me Propanalol to calm me down in the meantime. They were not wanting to book me for an endoscopy/gastroscopy but as I have private health insurance through my husband's job, they were ok about referring me as it was going to be done through the private sector. The endoscopy came up clear for everything except a small hiatus hernia, which is causing the acid reflux.
I'm now off the Sertraline and feeling back to normal.
Thanks for the response. I'm on omerprazole now and it's helped with the reflux. Not the burping though, so of course I fear stomach cancer. We're you able to believe it was nothing sinister after the endoscope? I've had two and I'm already wanting a third one but realize that it's going to come back with the same result and my anxiety will be the same. I just constantly think what if they missed stomach cancer!
What does everyone else do to help believe tests, trust doctors and move on from this constant fear that something is wrong?
Maybe you are at a point where your goal shouldn't be trusting the tests and doctors but rather accepting that you won't have certainty. I think a big part of overcoming HA (which I worked really hard to do and had 2 wonderful HA free years until my current relapse) is coming to ACCEPTANCE that there is no 100%, not for us, not for any of us.
For myself, I got to a point of accepting that, yep, something could be going on and I could have missed it. I think some of HA is rooted in needing to control (personally, I think I have a lot of self-blame and failure feelings involved in my HA and my feelings about illness or missing an illness or coming down with an illness, or finding an illness late). I did get to a point of understanding that these things just happen sometimes and that, if something was missed, I would be able to deal with it at the point that it was found, like countless other people have had to do. I really did come to peace with that for a short while...It sort of went out the window 5 months ago, which is a story for another day, and I am fighting to get back there. But, I don't think you get through HA without accepting the reality of uncertainty...and that is probably true of getting through the diseases we fear (I am also a major major cancerphobe and also believe my psychology is such right now that I would be the world's WORST cancer patient, like absolute bottom of the barrel, draped in fear and self-pity, cancer patient, which would probably be completely counterproductive if it turns out I have it or get it or whatever!!!) So, trust is part of it, but so is acceptance, and you might benefit from working on that too.
Hi nervous!
Thank you for the input. I do really struggle with uncertainty. It's a significant part of the OCD cycle, Struggling with doubt and uncertainty. Ive heard OCD to be called the doubting disease. The thought that something could be missed in the two scopes just causing my anxiety to sky rocket. My counsellor is trying to work with me on not giving into more tests though. High chances that I would go for a third endoscope in 6 months, get the same result (why would it be any different) and then doubt again. I think I need to learn to sit with the anxiety. Each time I go for a test, I convince myself that this is it and the test will get me over my health anxiety, it never has.
I really don't wish this health anxiety on anyone. It has absolutely debilitated me. Between all of the tests, 20 plus visits to the hospitals etc. I knew hospitals would get suspicious so I started travelling to a variety of hospitals.
I did find the endoscopy very reassuring. I also think the Sertraline calmed down my anxieties as well. I've suffered from mild health anxiety for years, but it was just thus hormonal surge that made me go a bit crazy (you are pregnant at the moment, so are also going through hormonal surges). I did also have some counselling as well about the health anxiety last year and that helped, as I had accepted that I probably willalways have little anxiety blips but it's how I handle them that matters. For example, trying to avoid Googling. My reflux is still not completely under control, so I have to trust that the doctors know what they are doing and the endoscopy was accurate. Yes, like the other poster stated, there is always the very rare 0.000001% (or whatever!) cases where things are missed but endoscopies are the gold standard and you've had two! Logically speaking, if you had something like stomach or oesophogeal cancer and you were having symptoms, it would definitely show up as very obvious on the endoscopy as the reason those cancers are usually diagnosed in late stages is that they usually don't present with symptoms until they are far progressed and this would be very obvious on an endoscopy. Secondly, you would be VERY ill right now and going downhill quick in the time between having the endoscopies and now.
What I think you are suffering from is a bit of acid reflux, probably made worse due to your pregnancy (which causes acid reflux even in normal pregnancies!), a probable tendency to slight anxiety plus hormonal surges caused by the pregnancy leading to further anxiety. Speak to your doctor about this, post natal depression/anxiety can start during pregnancy.
The thing that really pushed me to seek help and change was my children. The last thing I want is to pass this health anxiety on to them. I'm sure you will be the same.
Good luck, in sure you'll feel happier soon. Xxx
Hi Poppy!
I definitely agree that the hormones are causing a lot of the anxiety. Previous to this first bout of health anxiety, I've always had OCD that has been completely manageable. Last summer some crappy stuff happened at my work and I was afraid I was going to lose my job. I was going through job interviews and deciding what to do with my future. I definitely have always had a tendency to catastrophize. My husband and I decided to start trying for a family in January and I started googling infertility statistics, even though I had no evidence that we would have any difficulties. I started to convince myself that my husband and I wouldn't be able to get pregnant and that I had something like undiagnosed endometriosis or PCOS. We got pregnant right away, so then it seems the anxiety began to transfer onto conditions that could kill me before I had the baby. I became obsessed with fearing cancer and it has just spiralled. I think the hormones plus all the pregnancy related body changes just increased my anxiety. For example, I had a drop in my hemoglobin that all of my doctors said is completely common in pregnancy since your blood volume increases. It has remained stable over the past 2 months and I still worry I'm having a bleeding mass. Stomach issues, acid reflux, sore body are all par for the course in pregnancy but I attribute it all to my feared illness. Gah! This is so hard. I think becoming a mom puts such an added pressure because i want to be here for my baby. Thanks for your story. I need to trust the two endoscopes and move on, as you've said, it would be very obvious with the scopes.
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