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Hypomean
10-10-17, 03:52
Before I start:
Yes I need help.
Unfortunately I can’t get help without insurance and I don’t have the ability to pay 163$ per visit to a doctor or a 60 dollars to spare each week to go to a therapist. So if you want to comment that I really need to get ahold of this... I freakin know, I get such a desperation feeling when people say to get help and knowing I can’t really puts you low even more.


I have never been one to open up about my feelings. I bottle everything up until I explode. I do journal but nothing beats actually talking to a person. My husband doesn’t have the patience to talk about deep emotions. Anyone else I feel like I’m just burdening them with my crap.

i Fear a lot of things
I am mad/fury with a ton of things.
I am sad.
I am a whole bowl of a lot of emotions.

When they get too much I want to scream. Instead I get panic attacks. Panic attacks that make my chest pulse with pain. Chest ribs feel tight. The fear of going crazy. The frustration that I can’t just let go.

I get panic attacks from not being able to express my thoughts. Why?
Panic attacks because of PTSD triggers, i get it.
Panic attack from my HA thoughts, okay I get that to.
But why from bent up emotions? My thing would be like before I would just blow it off but now I can’t. I get rewarded with painful panic attacks.

vicky23
10-10-17, 12:32
Hi,
the fact that you're getting panic attacks from bottling up emotions doesn't surprise me actually, I mean I'm no expert! but I'd say it's because your mind senses a threat that it has to deal with alone because you feel you can't go to someone to share your burden.

I'm sorry you're in this position, I don't know how things are over there in USA in terms of helplines etc that we have in the uk run by charities to help. I hope you find an outlet somewhere

wishing you peace