Too anxious to get help. [Archive]

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Haemomama_13

10-10-17, 22:07

I feel like I'm at a point in my life where I need help and I don't really know what to do or who to turn to. I don't even know if this is the right place to post or what, but here goes...

So I'm 26 from the UK and a stay at home mum to 2 little boys - one of whom I'm a carer for since he has recently been diagnosed with a rare but severe blood disorder.

For as long as I can remember I've always been an anxious person, through school I was crippingly shy and seriously lacked confidence. Fast forward 10 years, not much has changed in fact my feelings of anxiety have increased and multiplied - especially since having my first child and even more so after my second. I've always just assumed that this is just who I am but recently I feel like it goes far beyond just being timid, awkward and a bit of a worrier.

I'm tired and I'm drained and I want to get help but I feel like I can't. I feel like if I go to a doctor I don't know what I'd say. I'm worried that he will think I'm making it all up or being dramatic (close friends have reacted this way previously and it's off putting). Im worried that when it comes to it, I'll play it down because that's what I do thus meaning I won't get help. I'm worried that he'll laugh and tell me there's nothing wrong especially since I've never experienced a panic attack and/or many of the typical physical symptoms.

It's not just affecting me but it's affecting my partner as I'm so dependant on him. I feel like a lot of the time he has to "babysit" me which is humiliating and I feel like I have no independance. And of course it's affecting my children as I can't go out far with them on my own and I'm scared my fears will rub off on them or that their lives arent being fullfilled. Plus, my 9 month old is undergoing weekly treatment at the hospital at the moment which I will eventually train to administer myself but my confidence is virtually none existent. I feel like by being too scared to do this means that I'm not able to care for him which makes feel like I'm failing as a mother.

Anyway, I'm rambling *sorry*. I'm glad I found this forum.

Nice to meet you all:)

venusbluejeans

10-10-17, 22:23

Hiya Haemomama_13 and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

Nikolai

11-10-17, 02:06

Hi Haemomama,

Sounds like you are overwhelmed -- I can feel it just reading your words -- it's time to look for support. Sometimes our friends and partners and family are just not supportive in the ways we need. That's one of the things that's great about groups like this.

If anxiety is interfering with your regular functioning, seeing a doctor is perfectly appropriate. They may refer you to a therapist. (I'm doing this myself tomorrow, because I need help too.) Just tell them what's going on, how bad the anxiety is, and how it affects you. A therapist can be a magnificent confidence-builder. I had a good therapist some years ago and the effect was powerful. They'll help you find your own strength. It's there, but sometimes we need help from others to find it.

Best wishes and welcome to the forum. :)

Nikolai

Velvet

11-10-17, 04:15

Hi.
:welcome: I’m new here too. Just noticed your post.

Making the first step to reach out can be so difficult, you’ve done that by coming here 😊
You could always print off what you say here or write it down just as you have and give it to the dr, you explain it so well. It would be a good starting point. You deserve to feel better , do reach out.

X

Haemomama_13

11-10-17, 10:10

Nikolai,

Thank you for your reply! Yes, I'm totally overwhelmed. I feel like I've always "managed" previously but over the past 6 or so months it's unbearable.

I'm actually being referred through the genetic councelling service to a therapist, completely unrelated though (I think it's just standard procedure having been diagnosed with a genetic disorder) perhaps they may be able to help or at least send me in the right direction. I've heard it takes a while to get an appointment though. Nonetheless, I know I need to take the next step for my children and for myself as I want to be the best me I can be.

Good luck with your doctor tomorrow. I'm glad you're reaching out.

Take care :)

---------- Post added at 10:10 ---------- Previous post was at 10:02 ----------

Hey Velvet :)

Thank you for taking time to reply.

That is a fantastic idea and something I wouldn't have thought of doing! I hoped that coming here would build my confidence enough to take the first step and already I feel like I'm not alone just having talked to people who feel the same as me. Thank you, the support means the world.

Take care and good luck on your journey x

Velvet

11-10-17, 17:27

Hey glad it’s helping

You deserve to feel better, so really do all you can...

:hugs:

Elen

11-10-17, 17:52

You certainly have a lot to deal with.

Your GP will not judge you or think that you are being a drama queen.

It's worth making an appointment and if your partner can go in with you as well it might give you the confidence to get your point across.

Haemomama_13

12-10-17, 18:21

Thank you Elen. My partner and I have decided to go together.

Elen

12-10-17, 18:38

Thank you Elen. My partner and I have decided to go together.

That is good news, well done on taking the first step. It is the scariest one but well worth it.

Keep us posted.

Elen

jwing

13-10-17, 21:36

Haemomama_13

18-10-17, 08:45

Hello Haemomama,

I thought you expressed your situation really well. I agree with the person who mentioned printing what you wrote as a back up - great idea, as it's a very good clear explanation. You really deserve to have some extra support and help. You sound like a really lovely mum. I have 2 children - grown now -and they've not developed the same problems as I have. I worried mine would become agoraphobic, but they haven't! They have their own traits and personalities which are just different to mine. Mainly children seem to thrive when they know you love them and care about them. Yours sound very lucky, having a nice and caring mum.

Thank you so much for replying, jwig.

I'm so pleased to hear your fears haven't had an effect on your children, that gives me so much hope and has certainly helped ease my guilt.

And thank you for your lovely words, it means a lot. I often doubt myself and my abilities - especially since my youngest needs a lot of extra care and attention. I feel like I'm not up to the challenge. I guess it's normal since I've been thrown into a situation where I have quickly had to transition from mum to nurse overnight. Hopefully things will get better.

Thanks again for the lovely reply, take care!