Rtpx
10-10-17, 22:26
Hi everyone,
Long post .. the first paragraph is a bit about me (boring) and how I came to be here so totally skip-able ;)
I have "used" this forum for years now as an alternative to doctor google when I am worried about various symptoms and this that and the other. I find that I can usually find something to reassure me and then carry on my merry way. I've never posted on here before though although I have had health anxiety from about age 7 (now 26) and had counselling and all sorts. Can go a year at a time feeling relatively calm and rational and then several years with one problem after the next which as you all know is utterly debilitating to the point where a part of me doesn't even want to "be here" if you catch my drift.
Anyway, 10 weeks ago I had a longed for miracle baby girl and my health anxiety had absolutely spiralled out of control for us both.. I won't go into my worries surrounding her as we are due to see a paediatrician soon anyway.
Regarding myself .. I visited my GP this week due to some symptoms that I thought were haemorrhoids. She had a "look" (mortifying) and confirmed haemorrhoids but also found a patch of inflammation which I am waiting to have investigated by a colonoscopy .. she thought it could be ulcerative colitis but me being me is absolutely obsessed with the thought that this could be cancer although she didn't say anything to suggest this. To make matters worse, I have a large, fixed lymph node in my neck which had been there for about 3 years. I had it scanned (ultrasound) 2 years ago and never heard anything back so assumed it was ok and made a conscious effort to keep it out of my mind. However with this issue of the inflammation, I am now thinking what if something regarding the lymph node was missed and I have metastatic cancer in my rectum / bowel and lymphnodes, and god knows where else ??????
I don't even know what I'm asking really just need to write it all down for some kind of clarity I suppose.. the thought of ny being around for my daughter is destroying me. I am so consumed by this thought that I have widespread undiagnosed cancer that it is affecting my ability to function in every day life and is ruining my relationship.
Long post .. the first paragraph is a bit about me (boring) and how I came to be here so totally skip-able ;)
I have "used" this forum for years now as an alternative to doctor google when I am worried about various symptoms and this that and the other. I find that I can usually find something to reassure me and then carry on my merry way. I've never posted on here before though although I have had health anxiety from about age 7 (now 26) and had counselling and all sorts. Can go a year at a time feeling relatively calm and rational and then several years with one problem after the next which as you all know is utterly debilitating to the point where a part of me doesn't even want to "be here" if you catch my drift.
Anyway, 10 weeks ago I had a longed for miracle baby girl and my health anxiety had absolutely spiralled out of control for us both.. I won't go into my worries surrounding her as we are due to see a paediatrician soon anyway.
Regarding myself .. I visited my GP this week due to some symptoms that I thought were haemorrhoids. She had a "look" (mortifying) and confirmed haemorrhoids but also found a patch of inflammation which I am waiting to have investigated by a colonoscopy .. she thought it could be ulcerative colitis but me being me is absolutely obsessed with the thought that this could be cancer although she didn't say anything to suggest this. To make matters worse, I have a large, fixed lymph node in my neck which had been there for about 3 years. I had it scanned (ultrasound) 2 years ago and never heard anything back so assumed it was ok and made a conscious effort to keep it out of my mind. However with this issue of the inflammation, I am now thinking what if something regarding the lymph node was missed and I have metastatic cancer in my rectum / bowel and lymphnodes, and god knows where else ??????
I don't even know what I'm asking really just need to write it all down for some kind of clarity I suppose.. the thought of ny being around for my daughter is destroying me. I am so consumed by this thought that I have widespread undiagnosed cancer that it is affecting my ability to function in every day life and is ruining my relationship.