Lottie32
27-11-04, 21:24
Last Monday was my final CBT session.
I'm officially "on the road to recovery".
I feel better. I look better. I am better.
It was still scary to think that I haven't got my regular session with Amanda to look forward to / fall back on!
We did the anxiety/depression questionnaire and compared it to the original one that I had completed, and the difference on paper was amazing.
I sat discussing all the things I am doing to make a living -
housekeeping, house sitting, pet sitting, salon junior, book keeper, bar maid and payroll. I also told her about the jewellery that me and my bestie mate are just starting to make for sale in her shop.
I then listed all the things that I've done in the last month. Been to a concert, been to Notts, been to a footie match, been out for dinner with people other than TGTBT (one a stranger), had a lift in a car that I COULDN'T drive, baby sat, travelled to different places daily, stopping out in strange houses overnight (god that sounds back, but I mean going to see a friend, then having the no drink and drive home or drink and stop over dilema).
Amanda started laughing and said she'd unleashed a monster, which was quite appropriate as it was my birthday on Monday. She asked what was so funny and so I said "November spawned a monster"!!!
(If you don't understand this you are either a. too young or b. a Wham fan. If the later don't bother asking for an explanation, but it was funny trust me)
It was quite scary really - I went to see The Darkness on Wednesday, and was quite wibbly beforehand. However, I was determined to go, and once I was there and "got into it", the wibble wobbled off somewhere, and I had a great time.
I've been warned that this is very normal - having spent 7 years being "like this", I am going to have to work hard to rid myself of anticipatory anxiety / negative thinking. I can cope with this, but I know I am going to have to carry on working very hard to carry on getting better.
Anyway, I felt quite emotional when I left, and i'm sure that it's not professional, but I gave Amanda a big thank you hug (I did ask permission first), which is very unlike me.
Mind you as Amanda said, she did rather feel like she'd been through the mill with me. As well as dealing with my GAD, she has had the additional trauma of the aftermath of my dads death, my gran loosing her battle with cancer, my horse being put down, being made redundant, and developing depression, which I am still taking medication for, to name just a few of my additional problems.
I hope this doesn't sound too cocky, but I just want to say that with a lot of hard work and determination, it is possible to start turning your life around, and start being the person you want to be, not the person your condition makes you.
Love [:P]
Charlie
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
I'm officially "on the road to recovery".
I feel better. I look better. I am better.
It was still scary to think that I haven't got my regular session with Amanda to look forward to / fall back on!
We did the anxiety/depression questionnaire and compared it to the original one that I had completed, and the difference on paper was amazing.
I sat discussing all the things I am doing to make a living -
housekeeping, house sitting, pet sitting, salon junior, book keeper, bar maid and payroll. I also told her about the jewellery that me and my bestie mate are just starting to make for sale in her shop.
I then listed all the things that I've done in the last month. Been to a concert, been to Notts, been to a footie match, been out for dinner with people other than TGTBT (one a stranger), had a lift in a car that I COULDN'T drive, baby sat, travelled to different places daily, stopping out in strange houses overnight (god that sounds back, but I mean going to see a friend, then having the no drink and drive home or drink and stop over dilema).
Amanda started laughing and said she'd unleashed a monster, which was quite appropriate as it was my birthday on Monday. She asked what was so funny and so I said "November spawned a monster"!!!
(If you don't understand this you are either a. too young or b. a Wham fan. If the later don't bother asking for an explanation, but it was funny trust me)
It was quite scary really - I went to see The Darkness on Wednesday, and was quite wibbly beforehand. However, I was determined to go, and once I was there and "got into it", the wibble wobbled off somewhere, and I had a great time.
I've been warned that this is very normal - having spent 7 years being "like this", I am going to have to work hard to rid myself of anticipatory anxiety / negative thinking. I can cope with this, but I know I am going to have to carry on working very hard to carry on getting better.
Anyway, I felt quite emotional when I left, and i'm sure that it's not professional, but I gave Amanda a big thank you hug (I did ask permission first), which is very unlike me.
Mind you as Amanda said, she did rather feel like she'd been through the mill with me. As well as dealing with my GAD, she has had the additional trauma of the aftermath of my dads death, my gran loosing her battle with cancer, my horse being put down, being made redundant, and developing depression, which I am still taking medication for, to name just a few of my additional problems.
I hope this doesn't sound too cocky, but I just want to say that with a lot of hard work and determination, it is possible to start turning your life around, and start being the person you want to be, not the person your condition makes you.
Love [:P]
Charlie
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.