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View Full Version : HA-14 plus years, lymph nodes, first time reaching out!



Google-King
16-10-17, 11:42
Hello,

As the title suggests I've struggled with HA for most of my adult life, at times it has been crippling, im almost 27 and have struggled on and off since the age of 13.

My concern stems from swollen lymph nodes, at about the age of 15 i noticed them on my neck, behind my ear and groin after a bout of glandular fever and theyve remained there ever since and have remained unchanged, so 12 years almost. At the age of 23 (im almost 27) I found what i consider to be a large lump in my right armpit, about 20-25mm in size... Ive had them checked numerous times but its never gone any further than a blood test. 3 years ago I had numerous blood tests over a 12 month period, due to my anxiety, all came back as normal.

At the advice of my works GP I sought help through private CBT, it worked up until now.

About 6 months ago I noticed some small change to the lump in my armpit, the lump remains smooth and moveable but the area around it is bumpy.. just under the skin. It feels similar to what i would find on my inner thighs, stomach and hips.. like small glubules under the skin. My wife who is a nurse and her mum who is also a retired senior sister have reassured me this is completely normal. To top things off ive been struggling with back pain recently, im a frequent gym goer but ive never had it looked at besides a physiotherapist.

Is this normal though, is my anxiety creating symptoms, Im starting to question everything again, my job requires me to be away from home for 6 month periods at a time and im currently 6 weeks into a period of away time... Im far far far down the rabbit hole and just looking for some advice. I dont want to feel like ive lost myself again.

Thanks in advance!

Fishmanpa
16-10-17, 13:03
As you've probably read here, nodes are one of the big 3-4 worries. If I were to give you some advice, I would tell you to stop referring to your nodes as "swollen". They're not as countless physical exams have proven. Shotty perhaps, but not "swollen".

By referring to them as such you're consciously and subconsciously reinforcing that belief and t's making you miserable. Ohhh... lest I forget... Don't poke and prod! ;)

Positive thoughts

Google-King
16-10-17, 13:32
Thank you for your reply! Ive noticed its a big and common fear, something i didnt really expect. Your advice is definitely needed, is shotty normal? I can never tell the difference between what you describe as shotty, mainly because my Wife has told me that im likely to find small globules all over my body due to fat cell deposits, especially on my thighs, arms and chest sometimes... i think you can tell im in the rabbit hole.

I'll try not to poke and prod, thanks for sending your positive thoughts! I'll try and focus mine!

thestruggle
17-10-17, 13:05
From what I've been told, some people can just feel their nodes more easily than others. Ignore all the "medical" textbook rubbish about them being a certain size etc. because it really can differ between people. I still have my node under my armpit that I can feel and wiggle around.. I thought it was swollen, convinced myself it was but I've had it scanned twice now and two different radiologists have said it isn't. It looks clear on ultrasound even though it's very palpable to me! It doesn't even look like the typical shape it's supposed to be either.. trying not to worry about it now and accept that two different medical professionals have told me it's nothing to be concerned about :) Poking and prodding WILL make your node feel more enlarged and keep your focus on it all day, always making you want to look for changes...so try to avoid if you can!

Fishmanpa
17-10-17, 13:14
is shotty normal?

Shotty is normal for "that" node(s). Shotty just means that the node never returned fully to it's previous pre-infection state and yes, it's totally normal. That could be from a prior infection but for many here, it's due to constantly poking and prodding. Poking and prodding can and will cause a node to swell and can cause them to become shotty.

Positive thoughts

Bigboyuk
17-10-17, 13:23
Hi Google-King while I don't suffer from HA I do have some understanding on how it effects sufferers and it's painful to read these countless stories that is many years in your case you have clearly suffered. Respectfuly you have been having CBT which you say has worked till now, so has your CBT now ended? if it has couldn't you get extra sessions or a different level of CBT You have reassurance from both your wife and her mum it's a vicous circle to keep going round and round I often think 6-8 sessions of CBT is not enough especially if the condition has been going on for years don't know what else to suggest mate :) apart from get back to your GP and tell them how you feel and good luck ATB