Hypomean
16-10-17, 23:46
I am fighting the need to post.
But I’ve reached a point where I can not talk to the people around me. And Well I annoyed the hell out of you guys.
::: yes I need help::: if I could trust me I’d be there, getting it::: we are trying to get insurance:::: and letting me know this even though I’ve explained it a plenty and the case is still the same. I GET IT. Just no way to get help without spending so much. It just adds to the anxiety. It brings a whole lot of overwhelming feeling, failure being the number one.
So for a few weeks now I feel as if my heart is failing me. It’s gotten worse in the last three weeks. Now everyone around me says it’s anxiety. Every. Single. One.
What if it’s not?
What if I don’t make it?
Right now I ate a quick lunch. And I went to water my plants, all I can feel is my heart pounding like crazy then came the skipped beats or addedkept on happening. I tried calming down by deep breathing. And with each inhale they felt worse. Then I notice that just by watering the plants my body tenses up from squeezing the water gun on the hose. Can a tense body make you more aware of how your heart is beating? My chest hurts right now from what I don’t know. Either way the increase in palps and me loosing my breath a whole much more easier now really is starting to freak me out. At times I feel like I will drop dead at any moment. It scares me having this constant inner twitching. Heart spasming. I’m the only one driving the days for my family. So i get anxiety. And this twitch inside causes me to have coughing fits. Especially when driving do I get the increase in twitching and the coughing fits. I get headaches with these. And it feels like I’m breathing with a ton of mucus in my airway. And when I do get the coughing fit I manage to cough up some gunk.
I mean it’s not right, right? Yet people tell me that it’s actually common with anxiety everything that I’m feeling. It why make me feel like I’m dying?
But I’ve reached a point where I can not talk to the people around me. And Well I annoyed the hell out of you guys.
::: yes I need help::: if I could trust me I’d be there, getting it::: we are trying to get insurance:::: and letting me know this even though I’ve explained it a plenty and the case is still the same. I GET IT. Just no way to get help without spending so much. It just adds to the anxiety. It brings a whole lot of overwhelming feeling, failure being the number one.
So for a few weeks now I feel as if my heart is failing me. It’s gotten worse in the last three weeks. Now everyone around me says it’s anxiety. Every. Single. One.
What if it’s not?
What if I don’t make it?
Right now I ate a quick lunch. And I went to water my plants, all I can feel is my heart pounding like crazy then came the skipped beats or addedkept on happening. I tried calming down by deep breathing. And with each inhale they felt worse. Then I notice that just by watering the plants my body tenses up from squeezing the water gun on the hose. Can a tense body make you more aware of how your heart is beating? My chest hurts right now from what I don’t know. Either way the increase in palps and me loosing my breath a whole much more easier now really is starting to freak me out. At times I feel like I will drop dead at any moment. It scares me having this constant inner twitching. Heart spasming. I’m the only one driving the days for my family. So i get anxiety. And this twitch inside causes me to have coughing fits. Especially when driving do I get the increase in twitching and the coughing fits. I get headaches with these. And it feels like I’m breathing with a ton of mucus in my airway. And when I do get the coughing fit I manage to cough up some gunk.
I mean it’s not right, right? Yet people tell me that it’s actually common with anxiety everything that I’m feeling. It why make me feel like I’m dying?