I want to thank everyone

[happyone]

My title say's all really.

I have been using this site since about October I think and was at that time in an almost permanent state of anx. I was becoming more and more reclusive and got a bit wacko:wacko: along with it.

Yesterday I sat in group therapy and there was this guy who says he is in an almost permanent state of anx.
I found myself wanting to tell him things like names of relaxation cd's, about mindfulness, about the positive affirmation cards, About writing down his thoughts and burning them, about exercise, about this site and generally about so so much that I have learned from HERE. Unfortunately, time did not allow.

I found myself feeling quite lucky to have you all and to be able to look back at where I have been and where I am now. I sat there for that moment and felt really privelleged.

I have cyber met some fantastic people on here and met one in person and I feel lucky to be part of this community where people spend time listening, sharing and helping each other out.

Yes, I have my down times and my wacko times but the anx does not play nearly as big a part in my life as it did in October.
I will probably always have a tendency to be anx and I have an extremely dodgy tum just now:blush: due to it but I am fine.

Today, I am going back to work (I can say that word now) and I am not sure if it is going to manageable or not, but you know what? I don't think I would have been able to get to this point of at least trying it, without you guys.
Sohttp://www.emotihost.com/ver1/hugging/3.gif:hugs: :yesyes: to everyone

Thank you
Happyone
xxx

[manmoor]

Happy :hugs: what a lovely lady you are :flowers: I wish you all the luck in the world with work today hun :hugs: I too couldn't have done without this site and the lovely people I've met here. Let us know how work goes today :yesyes: :hugs: xxxxx

[honeybee3939]

Hi Happy

So pleased to hear of the progress you have made and how benificial the site as been, i hope all your good progress continues which im sure it will, i would like to wish you luck today also with work.:yesyes:

Its always great to read of peoples successes it gives us all inspiration knowing there is light at the end of the tunnel.:)

Well Done!!

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[Piglet]

We will all be waiting here to hear you got on mate! :hugs:

Love Piglet :flowers:

[raphael]

Thinking of you today. Hope it all goes well and is the next part of your journey

hugs x

[mirry]

Happyone , I want to thank you for thanking us ,lol.
Your post made me smile and have hope for us all, what a lovely bunch we all are :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Enjoy your work and let us know how it went :yesyes:

[Under~The~Stars]

Well hunny,

What a lovely post. There is so much I could say, but you know it all already :hugs: You're fantastic!

Hope work is going ok, let us know, we will be right here :hugs:

Lou xxx

[Quirky]

Awww what a lovely post mate :hugs:

You've come so far and it's been a pleasure to be a part of this with you, however do remember that it's you that has got you to where you are now :hugs:

Hope today went well,

Lisa x

[Southern_Belle]

Happyone,

A wonderful post and a reminder to all about pass it forward of what we learn here. I do want to say I agree you did all the work. I also want to mention on how many people you also helped. You are a good friend and a wonderful person. I hope today is a good one for you and can't wait to hear about it.

:hugs:,

Laura

[happyone]

Well,
first day back and I am home without having run out of the place screaming!

I played my favourite song over and over in the car on the way there, very loudly. I got there and sat in the car for a bit breathing deeply.
When I got in it was awful! I was really perspiring badly and getting self conscious of it! There was only two of my colleagues on, my manager and another girl. The other girl had put a card in my file 'welcome home' which was really nice.
There was general housework to be done which we normally all share but I asked if I could do it all as I wanted to keep busy, naturally you can see they were delighted!
I spoke to my manager later on and was really really anxious, by this time my t shirt was embarassingly damp from sweating (TMI:blush: ) and I kept on scratching my arms for something to do. :wacko: I sorted out a couple of maintenance issues with her and spoke about my future shifts and stuff. She had got a couple of my shifts wrong and I said
"excuse me, I think you have got it wrong" whereas normally I would have just let it be.

THEN...there was just me and my manager left and we sat and had lunch. She tried to get me onside with support for her manager, the senior boss (everyone hates her). I can't believe what I did!!! I said
"I don't like her, I think she is exceptionally rude and if I never have to speak to the woman again, it will be far too soon" then when she then went on to say that staff weren't being fair to her (the senior manager) as she was only the messenger I replied
"If you fly with the crows, you will get shot with the crows and if I remember rightly YOU actually once said 'if you work for them, stand up and be counted with them!' Why should that not apply to her?"

Then I sat there and thought OMG OMG what am I doing? I am NEVER as confrontational as that or as brave!! But do you know what? It felt BLOODY GOOD!!!! It was like I had nothing to lose, nothing to gain from not saying what I think. Before I went off sick, I had lost the ability to see the bigger picture and the ability to sense how I really felt about things. It felt liberating! I truelly felt like the old me of so so so so long ago, much longer back than October.

I am aware that this might be a bp high, but see if it is, I don't care cos I feel so so good!! I came back here and saw all your messages in reply and felt even better!! I went to my mums and fixed up her broadband and had such a good laugh with my sis in law.

Thank you for your support and thank you for saying it is me that has done it, but it has been with an immense amount of support and time from you guys and I truelly believe you have all helped lighten the load.

Love you all (and I haven't even opened the wine yet!!!)

happyone
xx

[Under~The~Stars]

Awww hun, how amazing are you! :yesyes: Well done! :hugs: But guess what.............I'm not in the least bit surprised that you coped so well, or that you were so brave, as you coping with what you have been coping with while being off work, and getting better all the time, well that shows you just how brave and strong you really are. I want to jump up and scream for you as I'm so happy! :yesyes:

http://www.cardisland.com/graphics/products/2287/thumbnail/AX5BG7419.jpg

So so so proud of you! :hugs:

Lou xxx

[Jimbo]

Well done Happyone, :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:

So glad things went well.

Jim :hugs:

[honeybee3939]

What great news Happyone!!


http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s29/thewitchkrahe/welldone.gif
Im so pleased your day as gone so well !!
proud of you hun !!
:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:
Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[Lindalou64]

THATS GREAT NEWS HAPPY,
I BET YOU FELT GREAT AFTER SPEAKING UP,I KNOW ALOT OF US HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT(CONFRETATION) WE NEED TO BE MORE ASSERTIVE AND SPEAK UP, IM HAPPY FOR YA.........KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.......LINDA XX

[Piglet]

Sooo soooo soooooooooo proud of you!!! :yesyes:

The most biggiest humugerist enormousist hug - well done!!!!

Piglet :flowers:

[happyone]

Well,
I am pleased! thank you all again!
I am still dubious as to whether it will work or not, but I just feel so much more in control! If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. I will seek redeployment on the grounds of health.

I remember even visualising the front door of my work would be enough to make me feel ill, to visualise me answering the phone would make me feel sick! Today I walked through that door AND I answered the phone! I had to pass the phone over, but I answered it!

This just feels like such a huge deal to me. I haven't stopped smiling all day. I want to keep telling people about it!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Happyone

[Piglet]

This just feels like such a huge deal to me. I haven't stopped smiling all day. I want to keep telling people about it!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Happyone

Aww and why the hell shouldn't you mate - we know just what a big deal this was for you, hey and you've just made me grin like a cheshire cat too cos I'm that pleased!!

Piglet xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Quirky]

Well Happyone another cheshire cat grinning here too :D :D :D

Mate well done, I am so happy for you and so proud of you :hugs: . I'm not surprised though as I knew you could do it! :yesyes:

http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c144/dolphingirl33/Congratulations0.jpg

It's so good to see you feeling this good mate, has made my day!

Love Lisa x