Jure
20-10-17, 11:21
Hey guys, i'm new to NoMorePanic. Been following this site for a about month now. That's as long as i've had hypochondria.
Thought it'd share my hypochondric experience with you guys. <3
It all started back in early september. I had this weird ''musquito bite'' that i believe i scratched into oblivion and it turned all red and rashy.
I asked my dad about it and he said i should see a doctor about it. I told him there's probably no need. (It's getting better but still not healed fully.)
That's when it all started. First thing i did after that conversation was the stupides thing i've done in a long time.
I googled my symptoms.
And as expected, Dr. Google diagnosed me with melanoma of all things. I went into full blown panic mode.
Then it just kept piling up. I started worrying about moles that i had trouble remembering if they were there before or not.
There's one on my arm that's less than an inch in size. I kept obsessing over it for a week. Then i saw a mole on my finger. Tiny, but i was obsessing over that one as well.
Mole after mole...
''Did i have them before? Are they new?''
I was sure i had melanoma.
I'm barely 20 years old and i'm going to die. I won't see the first person to land on mars, i won't be able to enjoy life anymore because i'll be dead... (I'm usually a very happy go-lucky guy)
Then i developed that infamous lump in the throat, followed by tightness.
Immediately it took my attention.
''I may not have had skin cancer... But i'm 100% sure i have throat cancer! This tightness could also be caused by swollen lymph nodes! If it's not throat cancer it has to be lymphoma!''
And just like that, without a single day without worry in between, my hypochondria switched from one worry to another.
During this whole thing i never went to the doctor. I'm shy as hell and last time i went to the doctor alone to get my ears cleaned i was awkward as hell. I've probably haven't had a proper checkup in a year or two, and even my last one was a mandatory doctor's check up we had for school.
A week or two pass and my throat feels better. Some stressful things come in between like employment related stuff.
Then we come to the latest (hopefully) imaginary cancer symptom.
Before this, i didn't know humans had lymph nodes in their armpit. It all begun when i read a post on reddit about a guy who had a swollen lymph node in his armpit and it led to all sorts of problems leading to his death.
After reading that, i have been constantly checking my armpit for any potential lumps. I had no idea where to look, as my knowlege of anatomy is limited.
Then one day i found it. A tiny, movable, grain of rice or pea sized lump right at the base of my armpit.
I felt my heart sink.
I couldn't feel the one on my other arm, so i was sure it's swollen. It's not painful! I read that non-painful lymph nodes are potentially cancerous, but this one moves and cancerous ones don't. So i'm mixed.
I still haven't resolved my latest issue and i'm hoping for some sort of relief soon.
I keep having imaginary armpit sensations probably due to the constant poking and attention i give that area.
I know alot of imaginary symptoms are caused by anxiety but i'm too scared to just shrug it off as stress and potentially risk ignoring actual symptoms that could cost me my life. This is particulary worse for someone who hates doctors appointments and can't just go up and get relief at a checkup.
I'm writing this post to let anyone who goes through similar periodic hypochondria ''attacks'' that you're not alone.
I probably won't find relief any time soon. But i hope you do, if you're going through a similar thing.
:wall:
Thought it'd share my hypochondric experience with you guys. <3
It all started back in early september. I had this weird ''musquito bite'' that i believe i scratched into oblivion and it turned all red and rashy.
I asked my dad about it and he said i should see a doctor about it. I told him there's probably no need. (It's getting better but still not healed fully.)
That's when it all started. First thing i did after that conversation was the stupides thing i've done in a long time.
I googled my symptoms.
And as expected, Dr. Google diagnosed me with melanoma of all things. I went into full blown panic mode.
Then it just kept piling up. I started worrying about moles that i had trouble remembering if they were there before or not.
There's one on my arm that's less than an inch in size. I kept obsessing over it for a week. Then i saw a mole on my finger. Tiny, but i was obsessing over that one as well.
Mole after mole...
''Did i have them before? Are they new?''
I was sure i had melanoma.
I'm barely 20 years old and i'm going to die. I won't see the first person to land on mars, i won't be able to enjoy life anymore because i'll be dead... (I'm usually a very happy go-lucky guy)
Then i developed that infamous lump in the throat, followed by tightness.
Immediately it took my attention.
''I may not have had skin cancer... But i'm 100% sure i have throat cancer! This tightness could also be caused by swollen lymph nodes! If it's not throat cancer it has to be lymphoma!''
And just like that, without a single day without worry in between, my hypochondria switched from one worry to another.
During this whole thing i never went to the doctor. I'm shy as hell and last time i went to the doctor alone to get my ears cleaned i was awkward as hell. I've probably haven't had a proper checkup in a year or two, and even my last one was a mandatory doctor's check up we had for school.
A week or two pass and my throat feels better. Some stressful things come in between like employment related stuff.
Then we come to the latest (hopefully) imaginary cancer symptom.
Before this, i didn't know humans had lymph nodes in their armpit. It all begun when i read a post on reddit about a guy who had a swollen lymph node in his armpit and it led to all sorts of problems leading to his death.
After reading that, i have been constantly checking my armpit for any potential lumps. I had no idea where to look, as my knowlege of anatomy is limited.
Then one day i found it. A tiny, movable, grain of rice or pea sized lump right at the base of my armpit.
I felt my heart sink.
I couldn't feel the one on my other arm, so i was sure it's swollen. It's not painful! I read that non-painful lymph nodes are potentially cancerous, but this one moves and cancerous ones don't. So i'm mixed.
I still haven't resolved my latest issue and i'm hoping for some sort of relief soon.
I keep having imaginary armpit sensations probably due to the constant poking and attention i give that area.
I know alot of imaginary symptoms are caused by anxiety but i'm too scared to just shrug it off as stress and potentially risk ignoring actual symptoms that could cost me my life. This is particulary worse for someone who hates doctors appointments and can't just go up and get relief at a checkup.
I'm writing this post to let anyone who goes through similar periodic hypochondria ''attacks'' that you're not alone.
I probably won't find relief any time soon. But i hope you do, if you're going through a similar thing.
:wall: