Geepee
23-10-17, 11:39
Hello.
I am sorry to be posting another lymph node thread.I have never posted inonl this area of the forum before but have read everyone's threads. I joined recently.
I am going through a very bad bout of health anxiety. I have never felt quite as out of control as I currently do. I have made my family incredibly angry and I have a young daughter who I am letting down. I have tried 4 types of medication in 3 months after coming off my previous meds after 8 years on the advice of my GP.
I am signed off work and feel quite ashamed. Am convinced I am going to be punished for being so self absorbed and am terrified every morning about what I might find. I am having CBT but my therapist has told me she can't work with me in the state I am in.
My latest fear starts with a lymph node I found at the front of my neck. My gp has seen it twice and is not concerned. However, I have been worried it is the start of something more. Since I had it I have developed an itchy scalp and sometimes itch on my body. Again my GP is not concerned and says it is anxiety.
Yesterday I was checking my original lymph node and also felt the back of my neck. I felt a little area and after prodding for a couple of hours calmed down and realised all was fine. However I then put a heat pack on my neck as I thought it would relax ththe swelle area I had been poking. It didn't and the while area swelled to the size of a grape. Overnight the swelling lessened but I am left with a lump the size of the end of my first finger a hard ridge in it and there is a red mark on it. I was seeing my GP anyway so showed him and again he was not concerned and told me to leave it alone. I said about the itching and he was not worried and said I am very anxious and is referring me to Mental Health.
I am so worried about what is going on and I am finding it hard to let things go. Have I made something bad happen to my neck with my actions.
My gp won't do any testing as he says I don't need any. My husband agrees that I need to break this cycle of reassurance with further tests.
Please could someone talk sense into me. I can't seem to get a hold of this fear and I am worried I am losing my mind. I am sorry for the length of this post. I feel quite desperate and i think my mind is broken. I am sorry about posting - am even scared of doing this as this could be the one where I am actually ill. Thank you if you have read this and sorry. I have exhausted all my family.
I am sorry to be posting another lymph node thread.I have never posted inonl this area of the forum before but have read everyone's threads. I joined recently.
I am going through a very bad bout of health anxiety. I have never felt quite as out of control as I currently do. I have made my family incredibly angry and I have a young daughter who I am letting down. I have tried 4 types of medication in 3 months after coming off my previous meds after 8 years on the advice of my GP.
I am signed off work and feel quite ashamed. Am convinced I am going to be punished for being so self absorbed and am terrified every morning about what I might find. I am having CBT but my therapist has told me she can't work with me in the state I am in.
My latest fear starts with a lymph node I found at the front of my neck. My gp has seen it twice and is not concerned. However, I have been worried it is the start of something more. Since I had it I have developed an itchy scalp and sometimes itch on my body. Again my GP is not concerned and says it is anxiety.
Yesterday I was checking my original lymph node and also felt the back of my neck. I felt a little area and after prodding for a couple of hours calmed down and realised all was fine. However I then put a heat pack on my neck as I thought it would relax ththe swelle area I had been poking. It didn't and the while area swelled to the size of a grape. Overnight the swelling lessened but I am left with a lump the size of the end of my first finger a hard ridge in it and there is a red mark on it. I was seeing my GP anyway so showed him and again he was not concerned and told me to leave it alone. I said about the itching and he was not worried and said I am very anxious and is referring me to Mental Health.
I am so worried about what is going on and I am finding it hard to let things go. Have I made something bad happen to my neck with my actions.
My gp won't do any testing as he says I don't need any. My husband agrees that I need to break this cycle of reassurance with further tests.
Please could someone talk sense into me. I can't seem to get a hold of this fear and I am worried I am losing my mind. I am sorry for the length of this post. I feel quite desperate and i think my mind is broken. I am sorry about posting - am even scared of doing this as this could be the one where I am actually ill. Thank you if you have read this and sorry. I have exhausted all my family.