Hypomean
23-10-17, 23:14
... after yesterday I can’t think about it or it gets me anxious. Fearing the unknown. Like what caused my chest and heart to go off like that will I feel it again? Is there something wrong with my heart?
I ate a heavy dinner. I got started to wash the dishes when I just could lean on the counter to wash. It hurt. So I got a steamer to clean the grease on the stove. Now I know I hold my breath while using this because I don’t like the smells that come off of it. And I was scrubbing away when I felt the spasms on my chest and I looked down and saw that my pulse was being weird, over beating/added beats. And I felt short of breath and dizzy and my ribs got tight.
I don’t feel like had anxious thoughts in my head for it to happen. Maybe it was just the breathing or lack of breathing that caused the panic.
But then I’m brought to the what if’s. What if there IS something wrong. I know I know. I’ve said this before.
But say I really do want to go get this checked out? Because it does feel different then all the other times. But the thought of going to the doctors scares me I get anxious. Hell to go and get help for my anxiety is causing anxiety!! I’m afraid of everything at this point. It’s bothersome. I am working on the CBT site and I have a book I’m working through. But the what ifs in my life scare me.
I ate a heavy dinner. I got started to wash the dishes when I just could lean on the counter to wash. It hurt. So I got a steamer to clean the grease on the stove. Now I know I hold my breath while using this because I don’t like the smells that come off of it. And I was scrubbing away when I felt the spasms on my chest and I looked down and saw that my pulse was being weird, over beating/added beats. And I felt short of breath and dizzy and my ribs got tight.
I don’t feel like had anxious thoughts in my head for it to happen. Maybe it was just the breathing or lack of breathing that caused the panic.
But then I’m brought to the what if’s. What if there IS something wrong. I know I know. I’ve said this before.
But say I really do want to go get this checked out? Because it does feel different then all the other times. But the thought of going to the doctors scares me I get anxious. Hell to go and get help for my anxiety is causing anxiety!! I’m afraid of everything at this point. It’s bothersome. I am working on the CBT site and I have a book I’m working through. But the what ifs in my life scare me.