Had been doing well until now - OC fear

[BrokenGirl]

I had been doing well for the past few weeks, which I know doesn't mean much because it happens to so many people and then they fall back into the panic and fear again.
I'm concerned with something I felt on the inside of my cheek a few days ago. A lump isn't the best way to describe it. It's more like an area that is a little bit raised and rough. I'm just worried it might be a sign of OC
I know this might happen sometimes from eating hard foods like crisps but it always goes away in a day or two.
Is it a sign of OC? I'm driving myself crazy now, it's like all the worry I didn't have for the last few weeks has built up in me :weep:

By the way, i'm finally booked in for counselling which starts in a few weeks.
So scared about this new worry though....

[Fishmanpa]

I know this might happen sometimes from eating hard foods like crisps but it always goes away in a day or two.
Is it a sign of OC?

Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.

Good going on getting help! :yesyes:

Positive thoughts

[BrokenGirl]

Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.

Good going on getting help! :yesyes:

Positive thoughts

Thanks for replying Fishman. And I know if anyone here is an expert on OC it's yourself.
But the line that you quoted from me, I didn't actually mean that I had a rough feeling in that particular area before and it has come and gone since then. I just meant it as a general statement that perhaps hard foods could give you rough patches on the insides of your cheeks for a day or two.
Is my fear irrational? Would I have more symptoms if it was OC (and if the answer to this is yes then please don't say that they are, or I WILL develop them)

[Fishmanpa]

Is my fear irrational?

Based on your history, age etc., you tell me ;) It's a "yes" or "no" answer.

Positive thoughts

[BrokenGirl]

To answer your question Fishman - I'm 40, I smoked for about 10 years on and off in my 20's (seriously regret that now). My diet isn't the best but not the worst. Again I drank a nice bit in my 20's my not much since then.
And I know my HA history is appalling.
So I'm hoping what you're saying is that my fear IS irrational.

Since I turned 40 last year my HA has just sky rocketed. I wonder if this is a common theme with people, turning 40, 50 etc....

[Fishmanpa]

To answer your question Fishman - I'm 40, I smoked for about 10 years on and off in my 20's (seriously regret that now). My diet isn't the best but not the worst. Again I drank a nice bit in my 20's my not much since then.
And I know my HA history is appalling.
So I'm hoping what you're saying is that my fear IS irrational.

Since I turned 40 last year my HA has just sky rocketed. I wonder if this is a common theme with people, turning 40, 50 etc....

As I said.... it's a "yes" or "no" answer ;) Putting aside your anxiety and using common sense. What is the "rational" and "logical" answer based on my response to you? Mind you, the correct answer wins you what's behind door #3 ;)

Positive thoughts

[BrokenGirl]

"Putting my anxiety aside...." - God I remember those days, just about though at this stage. But I'm determined to get there again.

So trying to put my anxiety aside and look at this rationally and logically I think I would have to say (even though I nearly feel afraid to say it) that I'm being irrational and I don't have OC.
Please tell me this is the correct answer, and if it is what's the prize? I have to know what's behind door #3 :winks::winks:

[KK77]

Please tell me this is the correct answer, and if it is what's the prize? I have to know what's behind door #3 :winks::winks:

CORRECT!

http://www.myemoticons.com/images/humor/duh/surprise.gif

[Fishmanpa]

"Putting my anxiety aside...." - God I remember those days, just about though at this stage. But I'm determined to get there again.

So trying to put my anxiety aside and look at this rationally and logically I think I would have to say (even though I nearly feel afraid to say it) that I'm being irrational and I don't have OC.
Please tell me this is the correct answer, and if it is what's the prize? I have to know what's behind door #3 :winks::winks:

DING DING DING! That is correct! :D

And behind the door?
https://media.giphy.com/media/OWabwoEn7ezug/giphy.gif

Positive thoughts

[BrokenGirl]

Ahhh how cute - I'm so glad I won that prize :yesyes:

Thanks Fishman (and KK too). I don't know what I'd do at times without this forum.
I just wish I could pick up those cute little kittens now and give them a cuddle and a :bighug1:

[BrokenGirl]

Is there something wrong with me?
I thought I had this thing under control but I've just been obsessed with it all day. Can't stop feeling it, comparing it to the other side.
I just can't shake off the fear what if it's the start of something.
What I can feel on the left of my cheek is much bigger that what's on the right and it's just scaring me so much.
It's on the upper side of my cheek near the gumline and there is a kind of a ridge or something there, on both sides. But it's so much more prominent on the left and sometimes I can feel a slight lump or bump on it which is what really scares me.
Am I completely losing it here? I'm feeling so alone and scared, is this normal?
I can't go to a doctor with this. There's just a voice in my head telling me I can't. I don't know what to do.......

[Fishmanpa]

Is there something wrong with me?....is this normal?
I can't go to a doctor with this. There's just a voice in my head telling me I can't. I don't know what to do.......

Yes... you have anxiety and no it's not normal to obsess like this. And YES, you can go to the doctor to address your anxiety and ask for help.

Positive thoughts

[BrokenGirl]

I'm actually going back to the doctor next Thursday for something else - had a small procedure yesterday and just have to get the stitches out.
I've tried so many different meds at this stage I've lost count. I'm very sensitive to them and most of them give me severe migraines which I just can't live with.
My counselling doesn't begin for another few weeks.
I know it's not normal to obsess but I feel like I'm losing control here.
Is it normal to have random lumps or bumps on the inside of the mouth and it not be sinister? Could it just be down to getting older (not that I'm that old yet!!)
How do you know when it's definitely time to see a doctor about it, and i'm not talking about anxiety here?

[Fishmanpa]

BGirl... it's obvious you're struggling but it's also obvious you're trying to fight the thoughts and that's a positive. I wish there were some magic words but there aren't unfortunately. It comes down to getting real life help.

All I'll say is yes, it's normal to have lumps, bumps, spots etc. all over your body . We're not made of porcelain ya know ;) The rule of thumb is if you have a node, lesion or sore that doesn't resolve within a few weeks, see your doctor. In the mean time, the key is to leave whatever it is alone and allow it to heal.

Hope you feel better soon.

Positive thoughts

[BrokenGirl]

Thank you Fishman. I know it comes down to real life help, and the sooner I start my counselling the better!!
What I really need to work on is what I think a lot of people on here suffer from too - "I know I've been wrong in the past but what if I'm right this time? What if this really is x,y or z?"
Like you said, we're not made of porcelain so we're going to have lumps, bumps, spots, pains, sensations, sores etc
I think I need to learn to deal with the fact that I've got a human body and it's NOT perfect, and the older I get the worse it'll get.
I'm sure I'll be mentioning it to the doctor next Thursday anyway when I go to see her. Just wish that appointment was tomorrow :weep:
Thanks again for your advice Fishmanpa and taking the time to reply to me.
Every thread I start I'm hoping it'll be the last one, so fingers crossed that this one is :unsure:

[KK77]

Thank you Fishman. I know it comes down to real life help, and the sooner I start my counselling the better!!
What I really need to work on is what I think a lot of people on here suffer from too - "I know I've been wrong in the past but what if I'm right this time? What if this really is x,y or z?"
Like you said, we're not made of porcelain so we're going to have lumps, bumps, spots, pains, sensations, sores etc
I think I need to learn to deal with the fact that I've got a human body and it's NOT perfect, and the older I get the worse it'll get.
I'm sure I'll be mentioning it to the doctor next Thursday anyway when I go to see her. Just wish that appointment was tomorrow :weep:
Thanks again for your advice Fishmanpa and taking the time to reply to me.
Every thread I start I'm hoping it'll be the last one, so fingers crossed that this one is :unsure:

At least you admit to your anxiety and are being proactive about it. You must know all this is reassurance seeking behaviour, but the fear is too great to resist, which shows how anxiety can control our lives.

Hope your counselling will help you take back control and loosen the grip and hold anxiety has over you.

[BrokenGirl]

Thanks KK. I definitely realise that I am reassurance seeking, which I know is wrong but it's just what the fear from the anxiety makes us do.
I hope too that the counselling will help sort me out, some bit any way.
I'm determined to kick this HA in the butt if it's the last thing I do. I want to win this war!!!