Intrusive Sad Thoughts

[Matthewray]

Hello Everyone. I haven't posted in while. Mainly because my anxiety was almost nonexistent for a while. I'm back because it came back due to a breakup, new job and i'm moving to a new house. It's been a lot of changes at once and now that I think about it, this all started when I first moved from my hometown 3 years ago. Anyway. I have been dealing with a new symptom. I had a season of depression over the summer and it seems to have lifted but with it came anxiety and i've also been over emotional (crying at sad things). As of late I get these thoughts that make me sad (maybe i child who lost both their parents and has to be put in a foster home or sometimes like a single mother working a crappy job to take care of her kids). It will happen at random but the thoughts stab my heart with a knife and make me cry. It makes me want to take away all their suffering but at the same time it makes me grateful for my own life which I now see is very good, even with anxiety. The problem is the thoughts are almost intrusive in nature and effect my mood. What do you all think?

Thank you. Seriously. Thank you so much my brothers and sisters in anxiety for taking the time to read this.

[Matthewray]

Since nobody replied I figure I'd update my status in case anyone with the same problem finds this thread looking for answers. well it's been a few weeks since this thread was started. I am happy to report the thoughts have stopped. I did this by facing them and trying to understand them rather than running away. In doing this it desensitized me to the thoughts and each day they became less intrusive. Here is what I did. Let's say I thought about a scenario that made me sad, maybe a kid who eats alone in school or even something as silly as someone who was really excited for their favorite meal only to find out they don't have any money for it. It was like I could feel their sadness. These thoughts made me sad and you know what? They still do and that's great! I never want to not care about people who go through things. The difference is I don't dwell on them. I realized these thoughts were my way of feeling sorry for myself. I've been through so much and never felt sad by my own situation. I've been frustrated and worried but ive never been sad. I think these thoughts served as a way to allow me to feel sorry for myself by imagining my situation happening to other people (even if I never been in those particular scenarios). So in essence I realized that these sad feelings aren't mine to have for myself, in a way I was abusing my natural empathy ability in order to feel sorry for myself. I know that sounds weird but when I think back I always loved it when my girlfriends would feel bad for me (my theory is because my mom wasn't very empathetic towards me growing up because she herself had depression). I don't get that kind of "service" these days but I guess I unknowing figured out a way to get that gratification from myself (which is unhealthy regardless of source.) Once I figured all that out the thoughts didn't affect me as much and eventually I stopped having them. I know its a long winded explanation but if you have question let me know.