Ellecee
07-11-17, 10:25
I have Lupus, Fibromyalgia and health anxiety. This is not a good combination. I just woke up after about 3 hours of sleep. I don't sleep well. My left arm is hurting. A lot. I have no idea why. I rolled over, wondering if I did something to it. Then, I started getting a burning sensation in my chest. HA kicked in. "I'm having a heart attack." I'm currently sitting upright, pain in my left arm, burning in my chest and shaking uncontrollably from the stupid panic attack.
I'm trying so hard to overcome this mental illness. But how do I overcome it when there is legitimately something wrong with me? Something that gives me pain, something that causes anxiety and increases my chance of actually having heart issues?
I'm tired of going to the hospital and being treated as though I'm crazy. I want to stop the circle of panic. Sometimes I get really angry and say at this point, I'd rather just die of the heart attack than live like this any longer. And I mean it in the moment, but when these stomach and transient arm pains happen, fight or flight kicks in, and I forget all about that brave moment. And I sit, like I am now, shaking uncontrollably. Trying so hard to fight against this health anxiety undertoe.
I'm trying so hard to overcome this mental illness. But how do I overcome it when there is legitimately something wrong with me? Something that gives me pain, something that causes anxiety and increases my chance of actually having heart issues?
I'm tired of going to the hospital and being treated as though I'm crazy. I want to stop the circle of panic. Sometimes I get really angry and say at this point, I'd rather just die of the heart attack than live like this any longer. And I mean it in the moment, but when these stomach and transient arm pains happen, fight or flight kicks in, and I forget all about that brave moment. And I sit, like I am now, shaking uncontrollably. Trying so hard to fight against this health anxiety undertoe.