Please help

[CantonaKing]

Hi,
A few months ago, I was disagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder and OCD.
I am 35, but since a young age I have had certain rituals, plus I am a big worrier, so those diagnoses make sense.
In the summer, I had a bit of a breakdown – I had a dreadful thought about attacking my wife, which included horrible images.
I have never physically harmed anyone in my life and love her more than anything.
I then had a thought, what if I'm gay, which she found out about thanks to my non-stop researching on my laptop.
I have seen a psychologist and have gradually got better and my wife and I are working through things.
We are due to go on honeymoon in two weeks, as well.
However, on Saturday night, my sister gave birth to a boy, he is also my parents' first grandchild.
My sister's husband send me pics of the baby and he is so cute..but, suddenly, while looking at one of them, I had the most disgusting, sexual thought and image.
It lasted no more than two seconds, but I have been in turmoil every since.
I love children and have never, ever had such a repulsive thought before. Now, I can't get the revolting image out of my head and am worried I will tell my wife about it which, I think, will be the final straw.
My psychologist said these thoughts mean nothing and it is my reaction to them which is the problem.
Please can someone advise?
Thank you.

[ana]

It sounds like you're suffering from intrusive thoughts. This does not make you a bad or an aggressive person, however, seeing as acting on those thoughts is not something you would like to do. I would advise talking to your therapist, but really emphasising how disturbing and revolting those thoughts are for you, how much they make you suffer. Alternatively, you can see someone else if you feel that the current therapist isn't taking you seriously. It's definitely something you need to talk about with a professional so that they can help you find different ways of dealing with those intrusive thoughts.

[CantonaKing]

Thanks, Ana.
I've already spoken to my psychologist about it.
She says it's not the thought that is the problem, but my reaction to it - as in, everyone has thoughts, thousands of them per day, but, because of my OCD and anxiety, I obsess over the more horrible ones.

[ana]

While it is true that we all have thoughts,not everyone would have thoughts that disturb and terrify them... nothing against your therapist,and I am by no means an expert,but it sounds dismissive to say that it's all about your reaction to the thoughts rather than the nature of the thoughts themselves..

[cattia]

There is a really great book about this called The Imp of the Mind. I read it years ago and found it very helpful back then. I suffer more with obsessive thoughts than OCD but I found it explained intrusive thinking incredibly well.