View Full Version : I hate being so awkward and shy!

07-11-17, 17:20
I never used to be like this. For the first 14 years of my life I was a very confident and outgoing person. I had an average amount of shyness but I never really felt awkward, I could talk to anyone.
But then at 14 I just became really shy and over the years. I think the cause of my shyness was at this time I changed friend group to a more down to earth and nerdy group (I used to be in the popular girl group) and all the people I used to be friends stopped talking to me and I felt needy to impress people after this I became more and more awkward and I've been getting worse ever since.
Ever since I've been known as 'the shy one' and that's the one thing I hate. I don't want that to be my defining characteristic. Whenever I meet new people they immediately pick up on my shyness, even when I think I'm acting really confident. That 'fake it till you make it' thing doesn't work.
People's first impressions of me are 'you're nice but you're awkward'
The problem is the less awkward I try to be, the more I am. Sometimes it's painful. for example I'll go for a fist bump when they asked for a high five.
I stutter when I get nervous as well.

I've read a few articles about why people are shy and they say simliar things in that often people are only shy around people they deem socially superior and 'cooler' and that's very true, I'm rarely shy around other shy people.

It makes me feel like such a loser because I don't have a natural 'cool' about me. I'm never described by people as anything else other than shy. Apart from my good friends who all call me funny and nice. Which is what I wish I could show everyone, because to people I'm comfortable with I'm my 100% self and that person isn't shy or awkward.
What I hate the most is how people baby me. If I'm meeting extroverted people, they have this need to make me feel like a child, like they have to protect me because I'm shy and I hate it because I know they don't see me as equal to them in a social way.
Sometimes I'm so socially awkward people have questioned whether I have autism.

I don't know what to do
I've tried the 'fake it till you make it' thing. Doesn't work. I just either act too awkward or try too hard and end up acting like someone else.

What I've been trying to do is just putting myself in sitautions where I have to talk to people, and trying to make friends. It's hard though when you've met a group of people, and the first thing they say after meeting you is that they can tell you're shy. It really knocks my confidence and makes me not wanna meet more people.

07-11-17, 18:17
I really don't get your problem sadtimes especially when you have good friends which you have spare a thought to those who don't (like my self, I have no one (: )) Enjoy them and stop worrying....

01-01-18, 23:50
I think the comment on here is a bit unfair maybe?? Everyone has their own problems and just because it might not be as severe as someone else, it still affects them in their own life and takes its toll on mental health.

I have really high functioning social anxiety, I'm really good at hiding it and have a decent amount of friends but when I'm with anybody I feel a constant panic and need to escape inside. So even if you have friends it doesn't mean everything is perfect.

What I've learnt over the years is its better to embrace the awkwardness and learn to laugh at yourself instead of getting upset by it. I'm definitely really awkward too but when you laugh at yourself people find it endearing and it becomes a good quality. Plus being a bit quieter than everyone else is not necessarily a bad thing, people talk too much shit and there is quality in being able to choose your words carefully rather than always needing to be the centre of attention and babbling on!!