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snowflake293
09-11-17, 15:38
Hi guys

Having a really tough few days. Picked up a bit earlier in the week and wasn't worrying as much, but the thoughts are back the last few days and aren't leaving me alone :(

Been having pain in my shoulders and ribs and slight fluttering pain around my liver/gall bladder area. Saw a GP last week who examined my tummy and said there is no inflammation round those areas and everything feels ok, but what if something is wrong and he can't feel it?!

When I rationalise it, I know the rib pain is most likely related to my back and shoulder pain. My shoulders are so tight and knotted I have to squish myself into an electric massage pillow thingy so hard it bruises me to get the knots out, and it still doesn't work.

Maybe my anxious shallow breathing is causing these pains?

I just feel completely wrecked by it all today. I keep thinking something terrible is going to happen, like someone will be in an accident or become really ill. I hate my husband being away at work and I don't feel good enough for him. I have put weight on lately and feel horrible about myself. He is a good looking man and I worry about him leaving me (he has never given me any reason to think this) this is all my stupid anxiety, ruining my life.

Anyway I just needed to get all that out somewhere. I feel totally rubbish today, I feel like a burden to everyone and I feel like I have massively failed.

I just want these thoughts to stop!!!

Fishmanpa
09-11-17, 15:42
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. It's obvious you're really struggling. Is there any real life help you can get?

Positive thoughts

snowflake293
09-11-17, 15:53
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. It's obvious you're really struggling. Is there any real life help you can get?

Positive thoughts

Thank you. I had an assessment for therapy earlier this week. They said that because I have already had several lots of CBT they will offer me some 'refresher' sessions but these probably won't be 'til February as there is a waiting list. I am currently signed off work sick with depression.

I am taking Sertraline now but only restarted it last week so it will take another few weeks, maybe longer, for it to kick in.

My husband will be home later on and I can talk to him and I was out with my parents earlier. I am messaging some of my online friends too.

I definitely have the support and I am very lucky, I am just so tired of the thoughts. All this health anxiety went away, then I lost my baby and it came back :(

Distraction helps. I really want to do some exercise but I feel too anxious to go out at the moment, also it is dark and rainy!

Weasley123
09-11-17, 16:00
I have a lot of anxiety over my husband too. We’ve been married 17 years and are both 39 about to be 40. We don’t have kids by choice just dogs and cats and I have no other family. I worry constantly about our health and as he bikes daily that he’ll be in a bike accident. He never worries at all. He’s completely calm at all times

O_O
09-11-17, 16:07
Sorry snowflake. Right there with you. Can't really offer any advice, but I know how bad it feels.

snowflake293
09-11-17, 16:15
I have a lot of anxiety over my husband too. We’ve been married 17 years and are both 39 about to be 40. We don’t have kids by choice just dogs and cats and I have no other family. I worry constantly about our health and as he bikes daily that he’ll be in a bike accident. He never worries at all. He’s completely calm at all times

Can totally relate to this. I really worry about my husbands health too, it has been really bad in the past and I have made him go to the doctors over all sorts of random stuff! I worry about him being in accidents too, it is horrible. I am so clingy with him and I only really ever feel happy when I am in his arms (sick bucket alert, sorry!) and I need to be cuddled/hugged a lot. I worry I am doing his head in with my neediness!

I worry that I am never gonna be a Mom. I lost my baby at 9 weeks (no heartbeat at first scan) and it destroyed me as it was a longed-for baby and we found out we were expecting on our honeymoon :( it was just the worst time ever and it bought all my health anxiety back. I don't think I could go through being pregnant again, the idea of having another scan scares me too much.

---------- Post added at 16:15 ---------- Previous post was at 16:07 ----------


Sorry snowflake. Right there with you. Can't really offer any advice, but I know how bad it feels.

Thanks :) I know you understand xxx It is just so miserable and lonely feeling like this. I am so thankful for this group though, it is my life line.