I think I have depression :(

[Rhiannon]

Hi again - ive managed to get the panic attacks under control, i can now slow my breathing and its working reeli well! :)
unfortuantly, i hav a new problem :( i felt reeli depressed last friday cos my friends were leaving me out, I was accused of lying bout sumthin and my best was mate was being reeli unkind to me and I still dont know why he was doin it. At the moment (not all the time) i jus get reeli tired, i concentrate on anythin, i havnt been eating properly for 3 months, and ive jus basically felt jus sad and trapped - if that makes sense. Everythin jus seems to make me sad, i never used to cry but now anythin can get me going. I dont find it easy to tell people how im feelin or anything, so i started hurting myself. Ive cut myself before so its not anythin new (i first did it about 2 years ago when i moved school) and for some reason i did it again last Friday. My cousin saw what id done and i promised her i would try not to do it again. I lasted 3 days and then this girl (friends with my cousin) kept tryin to tell me i was bein stupid and selfish because id reeli upset my cousin. So, once again i cut myself and i felt much better. I hadnt told anyone about this because i didnt want to have all the strange looks and people talkin behind my back so I felt reeli guilty and kind of ashamed of what i done. my mum found out when she saw my hand and so i told her evrythin. After this i felt better and didnt hurt myself for 5 days.
On Saturday i felt reeli bad again cos this girl was tryin to tell me not to be so stupid and evryone who knew was sayin that i had to stop being such an idiot and see a doctor. I hurt myself again and i felt a lot better.
My cousin came round yesterday to watch a film with me, and unfortuantly she saw the new cuts on my hand. She got reeli angry with me and completly ignored me the entire time she was here which reeli upset me. When we took her home she sed "how could i break my promise" and why had i done it again. I told her id jus felt reeli bad and i was tryin to make myself feel better.
I dont understand what ive done wrong. I dont feel depressed all the time and i only hurt myself when im upset or angry. I dont think i should keep doin it because of the reaction ive got already but i dont want to see a doctor either because there is nothing wrong with me.
please help me,
Rhiannon xxx

[Meg]

Well done on controlling your breathing and panics - thats great .

**my mum found out when she saw my hand and so i told her evrythin. After this i felt better and didnt hurt myself for 5 days. **


Sounds like talking to your Mum really helped .
Can you do this some more and coe up with a way to get you eating better and doing more thing syou enjoy with people who are understanding and kinder to you ?










Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk

You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[Karen]

Hi Rhiannon

I’m sorry to hear you are having a hard time at the moment. I also self-harm and can understand some of the emotions that can lead to harming yourself.

I think talking to your mum is a good idea and perhaps see how she can help you with this problem. I also find talking to someone I trust helps sometimes when I am upset and feel like harming myself.

There are some other ideas I have come across to try to stop myself when I need to self-harm. Some include using distraction like doing some exercise, singing along to music, doing something creative like writing or some art work, playing computer games or anything that helps to take your mind off the urge to harm.

You could also try non-injurious methods to cope like drawing on your skin with a red pen at the site where you normally cut, immersing your hands in ice cold water or holding ice cubes, punching something like pillows, or twanging a loose elastic band around your wrist.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[seh1980]

hello there,

It's great that you have told your mum how you have been feeling. It's always nice when there is one person who trully understands how you are feeling and what you are going through. It also helps as you always feel much better after telling someone. I hope that you start to feel better soon!!

Sarah :D

[Rhiannon]

hi again!
I know I should listen to what my mum is telling me, and I think that shes upset Ive felt bad enough to hurt myself, but when i hear her telling me " you think that hurting yourself is going to get you anywhere" it jus makes me angry and want to do it more. I also find it very difficult to talk 2 her about stuff because she makes a big deal out of anythin and always sounds so serious about anything. It does my head in sometimes.
thank u for helpin me so far
xxxx

[seh1980]

hello there,

Do you have anyone else that you could confide in? a friend, a teacher, an uncle, etc? It's great having just one person who can listen and help. I have never self-harmed myself but loads of people do in order to relieve the pressure or stress they are under. It is nothing that you should be ashamed of but it is something that you should try to overcome. Have you thought about maybe talking about it with a therapist?

Sarah :D