View Full Version : the fear is not letting go and it gets worse
paranoid-viking
14-11-17, 17:13
I am sorry but the nagging and monsterous fear of having pancreatic cancer is not going away. I am sorry; I know what you will say; if you had it you would be very sick or dead by now; but stupid as I am and having googled like a maniac I have found hundreds of stories of symptoms that came and went for years and even some MDs are confirming this as facts. It is no escape from this fear. And I have come obsessed with my hands and stools. I am looking at my palms and pressing it and think I notice a slight yellowing of the palms of my hands. And the stools - I dont know what to say. They seem a bit soft, like chocolate, not floating but like chocolate cream. The color - light brown. Am I malabsobing. I have lost 6 kilos the last months, I am not on a diet, although I hiked up a mountain some months ago 1500 meter over sea level.
Gosh, I am so scared. There is no way out of this fear. As soon as I am trying to get to my senses a new fear come up and i google. And Internet easily provodes you with all your fear about the cancer equivalent to rabies. I am not functioning proparly anymore. And the fear turns me self centered and I fail to interact and being helpful to my beloved ones. I am ocasionally turning to the bottle to calm myself down. If I am dying what is the point then? I mean, alcohol can cause cancer but if I have PC I am going to die anyway and quite a painful death there is.
Sorry, I know I am a pain in the a** to many posters here. But this fear is eating me up alive. And what if I am right? There are people my age who has it and there are stories of symptoms coming and going slowly.
I wished that I had never ever learned the existence of this horror. Ever. One and a half year ago I did not know there was such a thing as pancreatic cancer. I thought all the cancers now had high survival rate som I was not as panicking as I am when I fell into the PC rabbit hole of fear and horror. Dont give me any "you need awareness". "Awareness" for something you guaranteed to die from? Why? It is better to be happy not knowing about it right? I would be!
In summary, by doing in depth googling, you managed to find a handful of cases out of millions in which someone your age had symptoms come and go for a while, so now you've decided you have it.
Have you been examined by a doctor? They'd be able to tell right off if you had any jaundice, etc.
paranoid-viking
14-11-17, 17:27
In summary, by doing in depth googling, you managed to find a handful of cases out of millions in which someone your age had symptoms come and go for a while, so now you've decided you have it.
Have you been examined by a doctor? They'd be able to tell right off if you had any jaundice, etc.
I had abdo ultrasound one year ago; nothing wrong with the pancreas, but then I read(bugger)that US not always picks up thing on the pancreas and you would net a CT to get it confirmed, which my GP has said is unnescesarry. I had a bilrubin test 2 months ago that was fine; but then I wonder if the jaundice had come after the test. And then; can bilrubin test be wrong? I dont know.
There are also shitloads of stories abbout misdiagnosis of PC out there. Not that it would matter; cause if you get it you die wheter it is dooiscovered 10 months or 2 weeks before death; althoug many blames the doctor and not the cancer for their deaths. The only thing to hope for is a confirmation of NOT having it, cause then I would know I am cleared.
I am on waiting list for endoscopy to check out if I have gastritis or an inflamed aesphegous, and for a while I have been at ease with the idea that may be the thing. But then I look at my palms, and jaundice, if I have it, is not a symptom of gastritis or aesphogeus inflamation. So I am back being scared to death.
This handful of a million stories are extremely hyped by patient advocacy groups who believes that getting tested some months before will save their lifes althoug every possible statistic shows that this is not happening. It is incurable so I dont understand why they do it. Does awareness for rabies and ALS also exists where they warn people to check for symptoms if they appear? Why would they do that?
I've gone through the health anxiety thing more times than I'd like to admit myself, so don't take this the wrong way. But, do you see how many "what ifs" are in your story. Every single one is reducing the the chances that you have PC that much more. I'm not convinced that you'd believe a clear CT either.
paranoid-viking
14-11-17, 17:34
I've gone through the health anxiety thing more times than I'd like to admit myself, so don't take this the wrong way. But, do you see how many "what ifs" are in your story. Every single one is reducing the the chances that you have PC that much more. I'm not convinced that you'd believe a clear CT either.
Well, there are people out there who refuse to believe a clear CT, like hypos who invades cancer forums, but I will choose to believe it, even though there ARE stories of cancers who escaped CT scanning and that awareness activists are encouraging people to do doctor shopping and demand CTs all the way to they find cancer.
ServerError
14-11-17, 17:42
Forgive me for playing amateur psychologist here for a moment, but here is what I think is going on.
I think, deep down, you know you don't have pancreatic cancer. I think you do believe the doctors. Unfortunately, I think you are riddled with existential angst. I suspect what you really fear is death, and that very human fear of being in a situation over which you have no control. As an extension, you fear the fact that nobody can provide you with any certainties in life - certainties that you won't get cancer, certainties that a scan won't miss something, certainties that a doctor won't make a mistake. You're crying out for 100% certainty in a world that doesn't provide it, except for the one thing you fear the most - that you'll die. It's for this reason you've latched onto pancreatic cancer so firmly. It's a disease that usually spells death. There'd be little you or anybody else can do.
You fear being diagnosed with something that will probably kill you. There are other diseases like pancreatic cancer with similar or even greater risks of death, but you either don't know about them, or haven't moved on to them yet. Ultimately, you're wrestling with the fact that something is going to kill you one day and you're finding it unbearable. It's currently coming out as a fear of pancreatic cancer, but it comes out in different people in many, many different ways. In my case, it came out as an obsession with the idea that something was wrong with my brain or heart and that I was going to keel over and die any second.
I suspect that what you really need to do is find a way to make peace with your mortality. It's what I'm working on, and I'm certainly not there yet, but it's noticeable the sheer amount of fears that begin to subside as you tackle that overarching fear.
These are just my thoughts. I could be wrong.
paranoid-viking
14-11-17, 17:50
Forgive me for playing amateur psychologist here for a moment, but here is what I think is going on.
I think, deep down, you know you don't have pancreatic cancer. I think you do believe the doctors. Unfortunately, I think you are riddled with existential angst. I suspect what you really fear is death, and that very human fear of being in a situation over which you have no control. As an extension, you fear the fact that nobody can provide you with any certainties in life - certainties that you won't get cancer, certainties that a scan won't miss something, certainties that a doctor won't make a mistake. You're crying out for 100% certainty in a world that doesn't provide it, except for the one thing you fear the most - that you'll die. It's for this reason you've latched onto pancreatic cancer so firmly. It's a disease that usually spells death. There'd be little you or anybody else can do.
You fear being diagnosed with something that will probably kill you. There are other diseases like pancreatic cancer with similar or even greater risks of death, but you either don't know about them, or haven't moved on to them yet. Ultimately, you're wrestling with the fact that something is going to kill you one day and you're finding it unbearable. It's currently coming out as a fear of pancreatic cancer, but it comes out in different people in many, many different ways. In my case, it came out as an obsession with the idea that something was wrong with my brain or heart and that I was going to keel over and die any second.
I suspect that what you really need to do is find a way to make peace with your mortality. It's what I'm working on, and I'm certainly not there yet, but it's noticeable the sheer amount of fears that begin to subside as you tackle that overarching fear.
These are just my thoughts. I could be wrong.
Well, I see that many people here also fears ALS. I dont fear THAT at all, although it is 100% deadly but for some reason or the other I dont give fear for that a second thought. Maybe because there are no family history of it. Having had acid reflux for more that 20 years it makes my chances of getting cancer stronger.
Yes, viewed from the outside people will think I dont have it. People I know. But I bet you if I posted this on a forum like Patient Info or Health Line strangers who suffers or are close to some sufferers would scream to me to go screen for it and give me" I am not trying to scare you but..." an then they do just that and tell me nightmare stories about their husband or whatever and what happened to him. Of course I dont post on these forums, I never will, but I have read it and it is frightingly enough. Confirmation bias indeed.
Do I know it deep inside? No, I dont think I do. I dont believe anything.
Stop passing responsibility to the internet etc. YOU are in charge of what you read and give credence to.
ServerError
14-11-17, 18:02
Then what do you want from us?
Exactly, Elen!
PV- You have so much hostility for early detection advocates who are, after all, only speaking THEIR truth. The thing about cancer is that finding it early CAN make a difference. Pancreatic cancer is really no different than any of the other ones that are in internal organs and very hard to detect. A lot of cancers are typically found late stage and end up being incurable. I think where the frustration probably comes from cancer sufferers is if they perceived symptoms earlier but actual diagnosis was delayed. I would be ENORMOUSLY pissed if that ever happened to me, and it seems to happen often, so yeah, they are going to talk about it passionately and they will be motivated to help others prevent it, if they can.
I hear you, in that I'm not so sure early detection is always possible and, yes, statistics don't bear out the theory that it makes a whole lot of difference at a population level. It might at an individual level, though.
If you don't want to hear the message, really the only thing to do is not seek it out. Getting angry that the personal stories exist is pretty counterproductive.
Very 1st Thread: http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=188580
And here we are over a year later... Nuff Said
Positive thoughts
Angelica Schuyler
14-11-17, 18:32
Hey, Viking, listen. I'm in the same boat right now with the pancreatic cancer fear. I'm freaking the **** out. It's awful and I can't focus on anything. Yeah, I Googled, too - big mistake. But we've both already done it and we've got to deal with the consequences, right?
So step one is get off of Google. You can't unsee what you already saw, but you can prevent this from happening again. There are a million and one stories of people having weird symptoms and coming out just fine, far outnumbering the scary stories about dying, but you won't find those on a cancer message board.
Step two is to find a doctor that you're going to believe. Again, people have tests a million and one times a day and get correct results. On the internet and the news and everywhere that lives on drama, you're only going to hear about the people who have had problems. The odds are in your favor. Ask questions, get tests, and trust in the results you get.
Step three is to find help for your anxiety, because this is way out of control and it will keep happening unless you get a handle on it. Does your GP know how severe your anxiety is? Do you see anyone for mental health?
paranoid-viking
14-11-17, 18:59
Exactly, Elen!
PV- You have so much hostility for early detection advocates who are, after all, only speaking THEIR truth. The thing about cancer is that finding it early CAN make a difference. Pancreatic cancer is really no different than any of the other ones that are in internal organs and very hard to detect. A lot of cancers are typically found late stage and end up being incurable. I think where the frustration probably comes from cancer sufferers is if they perceived symptoms earlier but actual diagnosis was delayed. I would be ENORMOUSLY pissed if that ever happened to me, and it seems to happen often, so yeah, they are going to talk about it passionately and they will be motivated to help others prevent it, if they can.
I hear you, in that I'm not so sure early detection is always possible and, yes, statistics don't bear out the theory that it makes a whole lot of difference at a population level. It might at an individual level, though.
If you don't want to hear the message, really the only thing to do is not seek it out. Getting angry that the personal stories exist is pretty counterproductive.
It is not their doctors fault that people dies from cancer. My dad is a cancer survivor. What saved his life? Awareness campaigns? No. Mass media scaremongering? No! Doctors? Yes! The staff at the hospotal? Yes! His own common sense to seek help when somethong was very unusual? Yes! I owe everything to them and NOTHING to awareness crusraders and mass media. My dad has never followed such things anyway. I am one of those who regards docs and medical staff as people who re there to help us, not evilmonsters hiding the ugly truth from people.
The only awarenss we need for somethong like PC is awareness on how NOT TO GET IT. Not much of that though.
What I see in this stories is people talking about somethng extremely common, like a stomach ache and regret that they did not interpretate it as the worst of cancers and are blaming the docs for not diagnosing them immediately. These campaings are different from when celibrites gets cancer, they dont gove full and creepy details about the color of their stools and such things, but how it is to live with the disease. I have read 500 pages biogrophies of famous people who died of cancer and there is zero focus on such detailed info on symptoms and possibly symptoms; just how they coped with being ill and such. But these campaigns has an agenda, and that is to scare as many as possible into assuming the worst and it is bad and harmfull. I am not going back on that. I mean it 100%. And it is not only their own word. I know a thing or two about advertisement and how media is twisting words to get their agenda through. If people from advertisement and tabloid joournos dont work in these campaigns I will eat my hat.
In these campaings symptoms there are massively focus and symptoms and nothing on prevention; that is almost nothing.
When it comes to PC 97% dies. Adn those who dies not die, were they saved by these campaigns? Far as I know, the death rate is the same as before Internet so I doubt it. But it scares people, yes it does. Most certainly!
And dont say that people dont dies of anxiety. Anxiety can most certainly lead to anorexia, suicide, stomach ulcer and alcoholism; last one can also lead to cancer -what an irony. Oh yes; and HA sufferers with heart condition are at greater risk of cardiac arrest due to anxiety. So - would they be nescessary colleteral damage to prevent 1 or 2 from dying from PC if they get it?
I have acid reflux and I tell you; acid in stomach increases with anxiety, putting my health at greater risk and even increase the risk of ulcer and - well, cancer! Although it is a higher risk of gastric than pancreatic cancer. Colleteral damage?
In a society we are responsible to each other. Just like my family should not suffer because of my anxiety, us with mental health issues should not suffer because cancer victims are bitter at the medical services for not saving their lives.
The cancer hysteria is massive in todays world. The English speaking media is worse than the Scandianavian though. And MY DAD WHO SURVIVED CANCER agrees with me. He never followed awareness groups and would never want to be interviewed by diesese mongering journos. He is happy to survive and gets sick and tired by talk of cancer.
---------- Post added at 19:59 ---------- Previous post was at 19:58 ----------
Hey, Viking, listen. I'm in the same boat right now with the pancreatic cancer fear. I'm freaking the **** out. It's awful and I can't focus on anything. Yeah, I Googled, too - big mistake. But we've both already done it and we've got to deal with the consequences, right?
So step one is get off of Google. You can't unsee what you already saw, but you can prevent this from happening again. There are a million and one stories of people having weird symptoms and coming out just fine, far outnumbering the scary stories about dying, but you won't find those on a cancer message board.
Step two is to find a doctor that you're going to believe. Again, people have tests a million and one times a day and get correct results. On the internet and the news and everywhere that lives on drama, you're only going to hear about the people who have had problems. The odds are in your favor. Ask questions, get tests, and trust in the results you get.
Step three is to find help for your anxiety, because this is way out of control and it will keep happening unless you get a handle on it. Does your GP know how severe your anxiety is? Do you see anyone for mental health?
Oh, yeah my GP knows. I went to a psychologists who was of no help. Not everyone is trained to deal with health anxiety.
ServerError
14-11-17, 19:02
Okay, but what is the actual point of any of this? What are your aims in posting all this? What do you want from the forum?
paranoid-viking
14-11-17, 19:08
Okay, but what is the actual point of any of this? What are your aims in posting all this? What do you want from the forum?
Someone critised me for me critisising awareness groups and I answered why I do that. They asked I answered.
ServerError
14-11-17, 19:15
Okay, but I still have to ask - what is the point of all this? What are you looking for from us?
paranoid-viking
14-11-17, 19:34
Okay, but I still have to ask - what is the point of all this? What are you looking for from us?
I think it is relevant to the issue of health anxiety. Some people may think it is a triviality, a forst world problem. But is HA a triviality and a joke if it actually causes alcoholism, anorexia, ulcers, cardiac arrest and even cancer? Should media and others show zero sensivities to a massive mental helath issue in society which can be quite damaging to people in society who may have a better life quality and functioning better without the insansely focus of death and horror?
In Scandianavian countries there are at least sensibility guidelines in the media, seems like there is less of that in the Anglo-American media though. IIf there are any.
ServerError
14-11-17, 19:39
You're not answering the question. What is the point of having this conversation over and over again on here? What if we all agreed with you? What then? How would it affect your anxiety?
Are you trying to start a revolution in terms of how the world discusses cancer?
You're still not answering my questions. Not properly. So I'll repeat: what is the point of all this? What is the point of your repeated threads saying the same things over and over again? What are you asking for from us?
paranoid-viking
14-11-17, 19:44
?
Are you trying to start a revolution in terms of how the world discusses cancer?
No, but I state an opinion and everyone is entitled to one. If you dont like it dont read.
---------- Post added at 20:44 ---------- Previous post was at 20:41 ----------
Stop passing responsibility to the internet etc. YOU are in charge of what you read and give credence to.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion and I agree with you that we disagree. I dont blame Internet, just scaremongerers and scrupleous journos making money on fear mongering.
You still haven't answered Server's question
paranoid-viking
14-11-17, 19:46
You're not answering the question. What is the point of having this conversation over and over again on here? What if we all agreed with you? What then? How would it affect your anxiety?
You disagree with me, I am aware of that. And I accept that you disagree with me. Many agrees with me aswell. Not all cancer awarenss is wrong, some of it is godd, but others is a horrendeous monstrosity that is not saving life but causing panic and fear.
ServerError
14-11-17, 19:46
If you want to continue to deflect and try to turn it into an argument between you and I, I'm afraid I'm not playing. I've been here long enough to see that coming a mile off.
I am not taking issue with your opinions, and nor do I object to them. Hold to them as fastly as you like.
But I must ask again: what are you seeking to achieve? You believe you have pancreatic cancer and that the internet is largely to blame for that. Okay, fine. I'm not looking to argue with that. What I want to know, and what I want you to ask yourself, is what you actually want. What do you want from your threads? What do you want from us, the people who try to help you?
paranoid-viking
14-11-17, 19:48
You still haven't answered Server's question
I have. Many times and in previous threads. A search can confirm that. Me and him diagrees on this matters as much as we can and me writing the same thing again is not going to change anything. So I leave the issue with him for now.
---------- Post added at 20:48 ---------- Previous post was at 20:47 ----------
If you want to continue to deflect and try to turn it into an argument between you and I, I'm afraid I'm not playing. I've been here long enough to see that coming a mile off.
I am not taking issue with your opinions, and nor do I object to them. Hold to them as fastly as you like.
But I must ask again: what are you seeking to achieve? You believe you have pancreatic cancer and that the internet is largely to blame for that. Okay, fine. I'm not looking to argue with that. What I want to know, and what I want you to ask yourself, is what you actually want. What do you want from your threads? What do you want from us, the people who try to help you?
The answer lies in everything I wrote. Stating an opinion.
It is as simple as that.
I have pretty much giving uend up asking for reassurance here as I end up getting flames from people here instead. Not everyone, but a few posters I recognise after awhile with the repetitive "you are a hypocondriac, stop being a hypocondriac" repetated a million times over and over and over. Although there are kind replies, like Dave and NerUs in this thread. Such input is always welcome. But not pedantic repetetive "why do you write this" over and over.
Now, as for the media cancer scare, maybe I should let that out of the OP. It was not the main point, just that my fear is getting worse. Yes, I despise that scaremongering but I could write this post without mentioning that. Although it is the cause of my misery.
I alway appreciate kind words from others in the same situation, kike NerUS and that is something of what I hope to see as replies.
ServerError
14-11-17, 20:10
Okay, but what do you intend to do with the kind words you receive? Kind words are great. Human kindness is in sadly short supply in this world. Anxiety sufferers need kindness. But I've not seen much evidence that kind words on an internet forum really help people improve their lives. That doesn't mean there's not a place for them, but it does mean we need to move beyond that to improve our lives, especially if our suffering is long term. If you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got.
I still don't think you are answering my questions about what you are posting for and looking to achieve. It's not actually important that you tell me. It only matters that you ask yourself. Are you looking to improve your life? Do you recognise that the world won't change in order to suit you? Are you prepared to be the agent of change you want to see in your life?
The only point of my repetition and constant questioning is in hope of getting you to challenge your thoughts and your behaviours. Everybody who gets better has to do that.
On the other hand, if you come back with an answer that you aren't looking for help or advice or to be encouraged to change, I'll have no choice but to leave you alone and focus on others more prepared to drive their own recovery.
paranoid-viking
14-11-17, 20:16
Hey, Viking, listen. I'm in the same boat right now with the pancreatic cancer fear. I'm freaking the **** out. It's awful and I can't focus on anything. Yeah, I Googled, too - big mistake. But we've both already done it and we've got to deal with the consequences, right?
So step one is get off of Google. You can't unsee what you already saw, but you can prevent this from happening again. There are a million and one stories of people having weird symptoms and coming out just fine, far outnumbering the scary stories about dying, but you won't find those on a cancer message board.
Step two is to find a doctor that you're going to believe. Again, people have tests a million and one times a day and get correct results. On the internet and the news and everywhere that lives on drama, you're only going to hear about the people who have had problems. The odds are in your favor. Ask questions, get tests, and trust in the results you get.
Step three is to find help for your anxiety, because this is way out of control and it will keep happening unless you get a handle on it. Does your GP know how severe your anxiety is? Do you see anyone for mental health?
Just out of curiosity: what caused you to fear pancreatic cancer? Maybe it the same reason I do it over and over?
Yeah, media loves horror stories. It sells. If it was up to me only people with medical training should be allowed to write articles on diseases and not tabloid journalists.
I looked after a elderly man with PC within a month or two of being diagnosed he was skin and bones now he has sadly passed.
If you had PC for over a year you would know about it or be dead.
This isn't to scare you but it's to reassure you that after a year you can start letting go of this fear
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
paranoid-viking
14-11-17, 20:38
I looked after a elderly man with PC within a month or two of being diagnosed he was skin and bones now he has sadly passed.
If you had PC for over a year you would know about it or be dead.
This isn't to scare you but it's to reassure you that after a year you can start letting go of this fear
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Yes, most people say that. My GP says that too. So why are there tons of stories about mild symptoms that comes and goes for years until they suddenly dies a horrible death years after symptoms started? The fact that I learned of this makes it impossible for me to keep calm. I know I raised the questions before, but when even GPs claims so what am I supposed to believe?
Sad to hear about that old man. Let us hope he is at a better place now.
But thank you again for reassurance. Any reassurance in the fear of having this is very welcome.
Angelica Schuyler
14-11-17, 20:59
Just out of curiosity: what caused you to fear pancreatic cancer? Maybe it the same reason I do it over and over?
Yeah, media loves horror stories. It sells. If it was up to me only people with medical training should be allowed to write articles on diseases and not tabloid journalists.
I have been having some abdominal symptoms, and was further triggered by someone relating a story about a teenage athlete who died of the disease. Naturally, I Googled and realized that my rib/back pain and yellowish stool could be symptoms of the disease. I've been a mess ever since, and came here looking for folks who may have experienced similar symptoms as I.
I'm going to my GP tomorrow to talk to him about my symptoms AND my anxiety. I can't live like this. I've been through it before and it's awful.
As for cancer forums and etc., it's tough to say. Patient and survivors need places to talk to one another and they're naturally cautious with others experiencing symptoms. But that doesn't mean that everyone will get sick - far from it. I think those of us that have certain triggers regarding disease need to do our best to avoid them; we can't expect others to quit talking because we're upset, you know?
Yes, most people say that. My GP says that too. So why are there tons of stories about mild symptoms that comes and goes for years until they suddenly dies a horrible death years after symptoms started? The fact that I learned of this makes it impossible for me to keep calm. I know I raised the questions before, but when even GPs claims so what am I supposed to believe?
Sad to hear about that old man. Let us hope he is at a better place now.
But thank you again for reassurance. Any reassurance in the fear of having this is very welcome.
I guess it's a case of some symptoms are more vague than others, sometimes you put the symptoms down to getting old etc and ignore them then time you decide to get it checked out it may be to late for these poor people whose stories you have read but you seem very health aware and you have read about PC so you know which symptoms to look for.
Have you visited your doctor about anything to do with PC? Symptoms or anything? I'm sure they would be happy to help and reassure you that you don't have it. I also think if you go looking for these stories you will always find some and that's the same with any illness or anything really on the internet.
I know it must be hard to keep calm but you just have to think logically you would very ill by now.
Forgive me for playing amateur psychologist here for a moment, but here is what I think is going on.
I think, deep down, you know you don't have pancreatic cancer. I think you do believe the doctors. Unfortunately, I think you are riddled with existential angst. I suspect what you really fear is death, and that very human fear of being in a situation over which you have no control. As an extension, you fear the fact that nobody can provide you with any certainties in life - certainties that you won't get cancer, certainties that a scan won't miss something, certainties that a doctor won't make a mistake. You're crying out for 100% certainty in a world that doesn't provide it, except for the one thing you fear the most - that you'll die. It's for this reason you've latched onto pancreatic cancer so firmly. It's a disease that usually spells death. There'd be little you or anybody else can do.
You fear being diagnosed with something that will probably kill you. There are other diseases like pancreatic cancer with similar or even greater risks of death, but you either don't know about them, or haven't moved on to them yet. Ultimately, you're wrestling with the fact that something is going to kill you one day and you're finding it unbearable. It's currently coming out as a fear of pancreatic cancer, but it comes out in different people in many, many different ways. In my case, it came out as an obsession with the idea that something was wrong with my brain or heart and that I was going to keel over and die any second.
I suspect that what you really need to do is find a way to make peace with your mortality. It's what I'm working on, and I'm certainly not there yet, but it's noticeable the sheer amount of fears that begin to subside as you tackle that overarching fear.
These are just my thoughts. I could be wrong.
You nailed it. At least in my case.
Yes, most people say that. My GP says that too. So why are there tons of stories about mild symptoms that comes and goes for years until they suddenly dies a horrible death years after symptoms started? The fact that I learned of this makes it impossible for me to keep calm. I know I raised the questions before, but when even GPs claims so what am I supposed to believe?
Sad to hear about that old man. Let us hope he is at a better place now.
But thank you again for reassurance. Any reassurance in the fear of having this is very welcome.
There are stories of people having mild symptoms and then dying because this is planet earth, bad shit happens some times and I’m afraid you’re going to have to suck it up.
The only thing that offers most people reassurance is the likelihood of such events happening to them. If you seek out these stories, which you very clearly do, then you’ll give yourself the false impression that such things are very common.
I mean, you’re not going to get happy endings and flowers on boards filled with cancer sufferers and their relatives, are you? So, why not take some responsibility, stop pretending that you’re a robot being controlled from the outside, and stop physically punching these search terms into Google?
I don’t much fancy being eaten by a shark, which is why I don’t slit my wrists and go swimming with them. You don’t much fancy learning about scare stories involving cancer, so stop reading them. Get it?
As for media outlets putting out scare stories, yeah, again, welcome to earth. They’re not going to stop doing that because you think they should. Perhaps you could try putting it into the perspective it deserves? You know they’re doing it for effect, so why not use that line of reasoning, rather than bitching about it on here?
Server has asked you repeatedly what you want from us, you haven’t answered. Why not? You do have an opinion but it’s one that’s tired, we’ve heard it all before and for the most part we agree with you. So now what? Don’t you want to try and rid yourself of this, or are you happy just expressing the same tired opinions over and over and over?
MyNameIsTerry
15-11-17, 02:44
Issue 1: Reading about cancer all the time.
Issue 2: Reading biographies to obsessional levels.
Issue 3: Reading on cancer boards noting the rare & unusual scare stories.
Issue 4: Strong negative feelings about cancer awareness.
Do you understand how obsessive-compulsive cycles thrive on you giving them importance? These cycles rely on negative feedback to reinforce themselves and the region of the brain that looks for the feedback exists only to receive negatives (fear, guilt, shame, worry, anxiety, panic, anger, etc).
So, how do you think you are feeding those cycles? How do you feel you are influencing your core beliefs?
I'm an OCDer myself these days. Why don't I get annoyed by the religious loonies who peddle hatred about OCD and scare people they have demons in them? I'm one man, not an army. If you want to convert your energy into campaigning against the BS out there your first priorty is - to get well! Until you harden yourself to all this negativity and work on your Cognitive Distortions, you are exposing yourself to things you are not prepared to deal with.
Conditioning is a very basic concept that has been around from the early modern days of psychology. These fear conditioning principles were built on greatly by later pioneers. Can you see how you are conditioning yourself in immersing yourself in all this stuff?
We don't get well if we retreat indoors to lots of time on our hands engaging in our obsessions. We do it as we are sinking. In recovery we are encouraged not only to tackle the anxiety issues but to improve our lives. This can be as simple as adding in more healthy behaviours. In MBCT you are encouraged to look at your "nourishing" vs. "depleting" activities. Balance is needed.
We've had these discussions about the unfairness of campaigning. It's not all proactive & positive, there is crap out there, scaremongering, scattergun campaigns, etc. We have journalists but they peddle scary stuff to gain clicks & revenue, your health is no importance to them so why listen to them at your cost? You want doctors to right articles? Then read The Lancet or Nature. And doctors do write crap articles too...remember they all have their bosses and "tame" doctors can be found to back up a load of rubbish too for cash. Who owns the media outlet sets the bias.
Well, I see that many people here also fears ALS. I dont fear THAT at all, although it is 100% deadly but for some reason or the other I dont give fear for that a second thought. Maybe because there are no family history of it. Having had acid reflux for more that 20 years it makes my chances of getting cancer stronger.
Yes, viewed from the outside people will think I dont have it. People I know. But I bet you if I posted this on a forum like Patient Info or Health Line strangers who suffers or are close to some sufferers would scream to me to go screen for it and give me" I am not trying to scare you but..." an then they do just that and tell me nightmare stories about their husband or whatever and what happened to him. Of course I dont post on these forums, I never will, but I have read it and it is frightingly enough. Confirmation bias indeed.
Do I know it deep inside? No, I dont think I do. I dont believe anything.
People with HA should add the word “yet” to statements like “I don’t fear ALS at all”. Just keep Googling you’ll get there.
Sorry I couldn’t be kinder.
"Kindness" has a different interpretation when trying to help and support someone with HA.
Annaboodle
15-11-17, 10:38
"Kindness" has a different interpretation when trying to help and support someone with HA.
Yes, it definitely does. I found Server's post extremely useful and lots of food for thought for me personally. Thank you.
"Kindness" has a different interpretation when trying to help and support someone with HA.
Hi pulisa xx
Yes it certainly does. :)
Although not everyone on here would agree....
paranoid-viking
15-11-17, 15:14
There are stories of people having mild symptoms and then dying because this is planet earth, bad shit happens some times and I’m afraid you’re going to have to suck it up.
The only thing that offers most people reassurance is the likelihood of such events happening to them. If you seek out these stories, which you very clearly do, then you’ll give yourself the false impression that such things are very common.
I mean, you’re not going to get happy endings and flowers on boards filled with cancer sufferers and their relatives, are you? So, why not take some responsibility, stop pretending that you’re a robot being controlled from the outside, and stop physically punching these search terms into Google?
I don’t much fancy being eaten by a shark, which is why I don’t slit my wrists and go swimming with them. You don’t much fancy learning about scare stories involving cancer, so stop reading them. Get it?
As for media outlets putting out scare stories, yeah, again, welcome to earth. They’re not going to stop doing that because you think they should. Perhaps you could try putting it into the perspective it deserves? You know they’re doing it for effect, so why not use that line of reasoning, rather than bitching about it on here?
Server has asked you repeatedly what you want from us, you haven’t answered. Why not? You do have an opinion but it’s one that’s tired, we’ve heard it all before and for the most part we agree with you. So now what? Don’t you want to try and rid yourself of this, or are you happy just expressing the same tired opinions over and over and over?
Actually I chuckle a bit over what you wrote. Not so bad. You nailed a lot of stuff.
Still, I must repeat again; I am not visiting cancer forums. I have no issue with those, it is a place for support for cancer victims and their families; these forums are not the issue here. My issue was with awarensss campaigns that are adressing those of us who may have but probably does not have cancer. They wwant us to read their horror stories and their message: "if you experience so and so you probably have x cancer". The patient stories on these sites are not really the patients own word, I recognise journalistic manipulation when I see it; and how words are twisted. Like "my urin was colored like tea"(uh, all urin is if you drink anything else than water), I had a slight shoulder pain that came and went(message: you are probably on deaths door if you experience something like this)I was deoressed for a while"; and so on and so on. Adressed to YOU. Propaganda. To scare people. I dont like that. It is possible to be informative about diseases than spreading monsterous propaganda that will turn the sanest person into a hypocondriac. Well, nuff said: I think I said that before.
Anyway, I think I adressed something new here. My feeling of guilt for those close to me. This murderous fear has turned me self centered; I fail to help out my closeset ones and isolate myself with searching for horror information online and examine my stools, my face, my eyes, my hands....and evil circle. I feel so guilty about people around me and how my fear has caused me to neglect them. Often, instead of paying atention I sit with my iphone and googling pancreatic cancer and possible symptoms and stories. I have been better for a while but got worse again.
And - I think one post in here, yes here on NMP, triggered my fear this summer. Someone posting pictures of his eyes asking for reassurance but then had jaundice conformed the next day. Aftwr that he dissapeared from the forum and has not been heard from again:scared15:
And from that day I started examine my eyes and face to see if it would turn yellow. It showed that there is no guanrantee that one will only find reassurance and nothing that could trigger HA even here.
---------- Post added at 16:12 ---------- Previous post was at 16:01 ----------
Issue 1: Reading about cancer all the time.
Issue 2: Reading biographies to obsessional levels.
Issue 3: Reading on cancer boards noting the rare & unusual scare stories.
Issue 4: Strong negative feelings about cancer awareness.
Do you understand how obsessive-compulsive cycles thrive on you giving them importance? These cycles rely on negative feedback to reinforce themselves and the region of the brain that looks for the feedback exists only to receive negatives (fear, guilt, shame, worry, anxiety, panic, anger, etc).
So, how do you think you are feeding those cycles? How do you feel you are influencing your core beliefs?
I'm an OCDer myself these days. Why don't I get annoyed by the religious loonies who peddle hatred about OCD and scare people they have demons in them? I'm one man, not an army. If you want to convert your energy into campaigning against the BS out there your first priorty is - to get well! Until you harden yourself to all this negativity and work on your Cognitive Distortions, you are exposing yourself to things you are not prepared to deal with.
Conditioning is a very basic concept that has been around from the early modern days of psychology. These fear conditioning principles were built on greatly by later pioneers. Can you see how you are conditioning yourself in immersing yourself in all this stuff?
We don't get well if we retreat indoors to lots of time on our hands engaging in our obsessions. We do it as we are sinking. In recovery we are encouraged not only to tackle the anxiety issues but to improve our lives. This can be as simple as adding in more healthy behaviours. In MBCT you are encouraged to look at your "nourishing" vs. "depleting" activities. Balance is needed.
We've had these discussions about the unfairness of campaigning. It's not all proactive & positive, there is crap out there, scaremongering, scattergun campaigns, etc. We have journalists but they peddle scary stuff to gain clicks & revenue, your health is no importance to them so why listen to them at your cost? You want doctors to right articles? Then read The Lancet or Nature. And doctors do write crap articles too...remember they all have their bosses and "tame" doctors can be found to back up a load of rubbish too for cash. Who owns the media outlet sets the bias.
Actually, one of the most reassuring search result I found is from a Norwegian Online Doctor answering site. I mean; many hypos are posting questions there, and while many answers are not so reassuring, I found that if I look for questions regarding pancreatic cancer the answers are quite rational. Of course no doctor in the world can say I can reassure you 100 percent you dont have that diseasebecause it can cost them their licence in WCS, the answers reagarding this is quite reasonable and like: "what you describe does not really sounds like PC, it sounds more like a reflux problem, and remember that reflux is very common but pancreatic cancer is very uncommon". And that all these symptoms, except perhaps jaundice of course, are very general and very common and overwhelmingly likely to be something else than PC. Great! Much greater than opening a can of worms by posting on Patient Info and Health Talk.
No offence, but I think the cancer hysteria is worse in the Anglo-American world than here in Scandinavia. Sure it is alarming, but not even to the same extent. Not even near. The Norwegian Cancer Ascosiation are not doing scaremongering on their websites. Yes, they list up symptoms of various cancers but also stress that such symptoms can be due to many other things than cancer. Which is very different from some of these English language campaign that uses manipulative language like "commonly misdiagnised as"...as if it is IBS or reflux that is uncommon and PC that is common. So maybe there is some cultural differences too. The cancer hysteria is everywhere, but I think UK is the worst. Sorry to say that.
If I did not read English I may not have heard about OC. They hardly ever talk about that cancer type in Norway. There has been a lot of focus on colon cancer, yes some scaremongering but still in reasonnable level.
---------- Post added at 16:14 ---------- Previous post was at 16:12 ----------
People with HA should add the word “yet” to statements like “I don’t fear ALS at all”. Just keep Googling you’ll get there.
Sorry I couldn’t be kinder.
Hmmm....I am not sure. I have read about ALS symptoms and it did not have an effect on me. And I have seen The Theory of Everything, the movie about Stephen Hawkin`s life. No, did not scare me at all.
But these horror stories might save someone's life, I would suggest just not reading them, I don't read any when I see them because they are enough to scare anyone but sometimes these "horror stories" are just genuinely what happened and it's sad but as Gary said bad stuff happens.
If you don't want to read them just don't no one is forcing you, the reason doctors are raising awareness more now is for early diagnosis - I've seen adverts "if you've had a cough for more than 3 weeks see your GP" followed by be clear on cancer this is is a excellent campaign and is probably saving so many life's
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MyNameIsTerry
15-11-17, 15:42
I think you need to put aside about these campaigns and the Internet. It is what it is but that does not reflect whether you can get better or not. Concentrating on the wrongs is just a wall preventing you moving forward.
What about the rest of my post? You've made a start discussing the real issues in response to Gary but I think the wall got you distracted again.
paranoid-viking
15-11-17, 18:53
But these horror stories might save someone's life, I would suggest just not reading them, I don't read any when I see them because they are enough to scare anyone but sometimes these "horror stories" are just genuinely what happened and it's sad but as Gary said bad stuff happens.
If you don't want to read them just don't no one is forcing you, the reason doctors are raising awareness more now is for early diagnosis - I've seen adverts "if you've had a cough for more than 3 weeks see your GP" followed by be clear on cancer this is is a excellent campaign and is probably saving so many life's
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Saving life?? Pancreatic cancer stories? A cancer that kills 97% of its victims? A cancer which has the same death toll as in the pre Internet days? Sorry I dont buy it.
I am not again informing about it like on the level of Wikipedia articles about it or the info from the Cancer Ascosciation in my country. They are not resorting to this hyper alarmism that you find a lot of in the British media.
I know that advice about 3 weeks. I am not talking about that. I am talking about scaremongering. Throwing brutal stories in your face. Tell you that anocasional itch once in a while is a sign that you are at deaths door. Encouriging people to go doctor shopping.
It is not doctor who is behing the scaremongering I am referring to, it is individuals whome, of course, genuinely believe that something good comes out of alamrming people of the deadliest of diesease by throwing horror stories to your face. In fact many doctors, including my GP thinks the cancer hysteria in the media goes way too far.
Does your argument goes for ALS awareness too? I looked up to see of they have awareness for that, and yes they do. Although the mortality rate for ALS victims are 100%, and there is no cure or treatment. What on earth is the point of that?
What about the awarenss of how to plan our own funeral. Goes for the same.
The most important awareness is the awarenss of living healthy. That is a way to avoid cancer aswell.
---------- Post added at 19:53 ---------- Previous post was at 19:50 ----------
We've had these discussions about the unfairness of campaigning. It's not all proactive & positive, there is crap out there, scaremongering, scattergun campaigns, etc. We have journalists but they peddle scary stuff to gain clicks & revenue, your health is no importance to them so why listen to them at your cost? You want doctors to right articles? Then read The Lancet or Nature. And doctors do write crap articles too...remember they all have their bosses and "tame" doctors can be found to back up a load of rubbish too for cash. Who owns the media outlet sets the bias.
Hmm....although one should not sound to conspiratoric but I belie ve there are something to the big pharma theoires. We saw it during the tamiflu hysteria. There were docs on TV alarming about something like 500 000 people were going to die and thats why everybody must be vacinated. I actually refused to do so:yesyes: Sound strange, but even hypocondriacs have common sense.
Awareness campaigns are chiefly about raising money to find a cure, no? Not to scare hypochondriacs
I still see you, in a very convoluted way, just banging on about so called scaremongering. Yes it exists. Yes it sucks. Yes people do it for the wrong reasons. Yes it can create unnecessary anxiety over ones health. We know that, we’ve been over it ad nuseam. What now?
You seem to think that these scare stories have searched you out. Trust me, they haven’t. I genuinely couldn’t tell you of a story I came across involving pancreatic cancer that I would ever label scaremongering. Stupid things like swine flu and bird flu, yes, the media go OTT with those types of things, to the point it’s just bizarre.
Why must you, and admittedly others like you, always be the victims here? Why must you be afflicted by these stories? Who is it that’s making you constantly find this stuff? I can easily see how someone could come across this type of thing on the odd occasion, but to read your posts you’d think these stories were breaking into your house during the night and crawling into bed with you.
Seriously, quit the victim mentality. You, for the most part, are doing this to yourself.
I'm sorry I just don't agree with you, we have to have some sort of awareness for PC because people raise money then and one day research could find a way to live longer with it, no one forces you to look at these stories.
Scaremongering is horrible and something that happens but if you go looking for it of course you will find it, you can't sit here and say that you see these stories without looking I barely see any because I don't look for it.
I agree that some cancer hysteria does go to far but if it makes someone go to the doctors then surely it's worth it, if you want real symptoms and real advice use a genuine site, I always look on the NHS for advice about illnesses and I don't get scared then.
I haven't looked up ALS awareness but of course they do we can't just not talk about it, we can't ignore it because wether you like it or not this stuff happens and we need to know about it.
You can't "avoid" cancer yes you can eat healthier, quit smoking, quit drinking and still get cancer you just have to live your life while you can and be happy.
You are only damaging yourself by looking at these stories and you can stop looking at them any time.
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paranoid-viking
15-11-17, 19:19
Awareness campaigns are chiefly about raising money to find a cure, no? Not to scare hypochondriacs
It is both. But ut seems like the main focus is to alarm the public as their campaigns are full of "do YOU know the symptoms of"? Of course I support the fight for finding a cure 100%. That is a case I support. It is the scaremongering I am against. If you had seen the UK Pan Can awareness you would see that they are extremely focused on symptoms and alarming the public, young and old of symptoms. I would not give you a link to their website as this is extremely horryfying.
ServerError
15-11-17, 19:22
Whether we agree with this guy or not doesn't really matter. I think we'd all agree that information about disease can sometimes seem sensationalised or intrusive. I follow my local newspaper on Facebook - they love nothing more than a good story about a local 21-year-old clean-eating gym freak diagnosed with terminal cancer of the everything.
The point is, the world isn't going to change to suit hypochondriacs. People do sometimes change the world, but it takes time - sometimes the change you seek doesn't emerge until after you've gone. In the meantime, you have to take some responsibility for yourself. I have never seen a poster on here less prepared to do that.
paranoid-viking
15-11-17, 19:36
I'm sorry I just don't agree with you, we have to have some sort of awareness for PC because people raise money then and one day research could find a way to live longer with it, no one forces you to look at these stories.
Scaremongering is horrible and something that happens but if you go looking for it of course you will find it, you can't sit here and say that you see these stories without looking I barely see any because I don't look for it.
I agree that some cancer hysteria does go to far but if it makes someone go to the doctors then surely it's worth it, if you want real symptoms and real advice use a genuine site, I always look on the NHS for advice about illnesses and I don't get scared then.
I haven't looked up ALS awareness but of course they do we can't just not talk about it, we can't ignore it because wether you like it or not this stuff happens and we need to know about it.
You can't "avoid" cancer yes you can eat healthier, quit smoking, quit drinking and still get cancer you just have to live your life while you can and be happy.
You are only damaging yourself by looking at these stories and you can stop looking at them any time.
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A bit of contradictions here, isnt it? You said I should not read this stories and then you say I should? You really think it is nescescary to alarm people in their 20s about a disease that there is almost 0% chance for them to get? Should young people really worry about a cancer that predominantely affect people over 70? Is there not other things people in their 20s should worry about? I am so glad I never heard of this monstrosity while I was in my 20s and why should I? You think that scaring people into a mental hospital, suicidal thoughts, anorexia, alcoholism and possibe heart attack is a nescessary evil and colletertal damage so that 1 out of a million can be saved from pancreatic cancer? Is it OK to use manipulative language where other says "it is more likely to be x" but instead stress "commonly misdiagnosed as". Is oit OK to put up posters encouraging people to distrust doctors because they say an upset stomach is not cancer? Is it OK to insist that a mild itch means PC?
What is wrong with ordinary textbook listing of symptoms instead of throwing horror stories of 23 years old with PC in pour face? Virtually no one at that age gets it. In fact no one under 60 y/o should need to be alarmed about pancreatic cancer. Sorry, but I dont agree with you and I used the excample of the cancer ascociation in my country and how they are having a more rational approach to it. And believe me, we dont have higher cancer death rates than in the UK - in fact we have lower. Which I take as another evidence why this social pornographic approach in awareness is not a nescessary evil. Culd it be due to lifestyle that the cancer statistic is higher in the UK? Could it be the pollution?
So what is wrong with the rational cancer info in Norway? Why should we adopt this social pornographic trends in the Anglo-American world?
And I still dont see the point of alarming someone about ALS symptoms. If you get it, you get it. The time to talk about it is WHEN one gets it, not before.
---------- Post added at 20:36 ---------- Previous post was at 20:31 ----------
Whether we agree with this guy or not doesn't really matter. I think we'd all agree that information about disease can sometimes seem sensationalised or intrusive. I follow my local newspaper on Facebook - they love nothing more than a good story about a local 21-year-old clean-eating gym freak diagnosed with terminal cancer of the everything.
The point is, the world isn't going to change to suit hypochondriacs. People do sometimes change the world, but it takes time - sometimes the change you seek doesn't emerge until after you've gone. In the meantime, you have to take some responsibility for yourself. I have never seen a poster on here less prepared to do that.
Well, as I pointed out, the cancer hysteria is much worse in the British and American media than it is over here. I allready wrote how much more rational approach the Cancer Ascosiation here are taking this - and without more death rates from cancer.
So there are cultural differences to this post modern cancer focus.
A bit of contradictions here, isnt it? You said I should not read this stories and then you say I should? You really think it is nescescary to alarm people in their 20s about a disease that there is almost 0% chance for them to get? Should young people really worry about a cancer that predominantely affect people over 70? Is there not other things people in their 20s should worry about? I am so glad I never heard of this monstrosity while I was in my 20s and why should I? You think that scaring people into a mental hospital, suicidal thoughts, anorexia, alcoholism and possibe heart attack is a nescessary evil and colletertal damage so that 1 out of a million can be saved from pancreatic cancer? Is it OK to use manipulative language where other says "it is more likely to be x" but instead stress "commonly misdiagnosed as". Is oit OK to put up posters encouraging people to distrust doctors because they say an upset stomach is not cancer? Is it OK to insist that a mild itch means PC?
What is wrong with ordinary textbook listing of symptoms instead of throwing horror stories of 23 years old with PC in pour face? Virtually no one at that age gets it. In fact no one under 60 y/o should need to be alarmed about pancreatic cancer. Sorry, but I dont agree with you and I used the excample of the cancer ascociation in my country and how they are having a more rational approach to it. And believe me, we dont have higher cancer death rates than in the UK - in fact we have lower. Which I take as another evidence why this social pornographic approach in awareness is not a nescessary evil. Culd it be due to lifestyle that the cancer statistic is higher in the UK? Could it be the pollution?
So what is wrong with the rational cancer info in Norway? Why should we adopt this social pornographic trends in the Anglo-American world?
And I still dont see the point of alarming someone about ALS symptoms. If you get it, you get it. The time to talk about it is WHEN one gets it, not before.
Okay fair enough, but why are you reading all this information? why are you on PC websites? Makes no sense to me?
I agree with you scaring 20 year olds into a disease that isn't going to happen to them is awful but when a extremely rare case does happen the media are all over it because that is the media for you and it gets people talking, sad truth because I hate reading these stories myself but if I can avoid them I will.
No no the NHS doesn't use terms as "commonly misdiagnosed as" I don't know what sites you're reading but that isn't the case for the ones I read.
You have specifically gone and looked for information about PC and now you're worried about it what do you expect? It's going to scare anyone it's one of the worst illnesses I think you can get but as you say it's not curable so what's the point of sitting here reading and worrying about it? It won't change nothing?
No you don't have to alarm someone of the ALS symptoms but maybe raising awareness and fundraising will help in the future who knows what the world will be like when we are all gone.
ServerError
15-11-17, 19:46
Well, as I pointed out, the cancer hysteria is much worse in the British and American media than it is over here. I allready wrote how much more rational approach the Cancer Ascosiation here are taking this - and without more death rates from cancer.
So there are cultural differences to this post modern cancer focus.
What the hell has that got to do with anything? You're just typing endless reams of meaningless drivel, constantly rehashing the same tired opinion. I still don't know what you want from us. Do you know what you want? Has any of this helped you feel any better?
paranoid-viking
15-11-17, 19:49
What the hell has that got to do with anything? You're just typing endless reams of meaningless drivel, constantly rehashing the same tired opinion. I still don't know what you want from us. Do you know what you want? Has any of this helped you feel any better?
If you think its drivel then dont read. I just state my opinion.
If you think its drivel then dont read. I just state my opinion.
Yes you do, repeatedly. Over and over and over again. I’m going to ask you again and I’d appreciate a concise answer rather than 3 lengthy paragraphs of meaningless bluster - What now? What are you going to do about trying to get over your anxiety? Your dancing around this question was tiresome about 350 paragraphs ago.
paranoid-viking
15-11-17, 20:00
Yes you do, repeatedly. Over and over and over again. I’m going to ask you again and I’d appreciate a concise answer rather than 3 lengthy paragraphs of meaningless bluster - What now? What are you going to do about trying to get over your anxiety? Your dancing around this question was tiresome about 350 paragraphs ago.
No no one gets so anoyed and triggered by what I write like you and server does so I can not really see what you want from me here. I read what you wrote, I partly agrees with it. And thats it.
You promised once that you would stop comment anyhtning I wrote and that lasted for....about 2 posts and you were back at it again. Was it too tempting?
How old are you? Just out of curiosity because you stated you wouldn't worry about PC under 70
No no one gets so anoyed and triggered by what I write like you and server does so I can not really see what you want from me here. I read what you wrote, I partly agrees with it. And thats it.
You promised once that you would stop comment anyhtning I wrote and that lasted for....about 2 posts and you were back at it again. Was it too tempting?
I’m simply asking what you plan to do about your anxiety, as is server. Should I assume, because you won’t answer, that you’re quite happy to be anxious about unrealistic concerns and you’re content to just blabber on about how oh so unfair the internet and the world is on poor little you?
paranoid-viking
15-11-17, 20:13
How old are you? Just out of curiosity because you stated you wouldn't worry about PC under 70
Yes, I should not, but I do. 40. Now, they say that it is very uncommon in those under 40 but mostly affects people over 70. But having turned 40 I am now in the category where it is no longer so extremely unlikely as it was a few years ago.:weep:
---------- Post added at 21:13 ---------- Previous post was at 21:11 ----------
I’m simply asking what you plan to do about your anxiety, as is server. Should I assume, because you won’t answer, that you’re quite happy to be anxious about unrealistic concerns and you’re content to just blabber on about how oh so unfair the internet and the world is on poor little you?
It is the tone that someone here is taking towards me that I dont really appreciate. Especially your tone. Using words like drivel, victim, shit, bitchy blabber etc. I am suffering a mental health problem that is disabling me socially and mentally and yu are using a belitteling language in a quite abusive form. If you dont like to hear about it this forum may not be for you.
When will you stick to your promise of not answering my posts? I wish you did. If your so tired of what I say, then why the hell dom you torture yourself with replying? And you think your tone is one that should be adressed to someone suffering a mental health issue?
I gladly take advice from friendly posts. like Terry and Fish and such, but not from posters who are constantly negative and abusive with variations of "you are just a self pitying hypocondriac, stop being a hypocondriac and snap out of it". Yeah, never heard that before. Sorry if I am crass, but that is the only answer you are going to get.
Nothing you write is going to change anything, thats for sure.
I honestly think you need to just try talk to someone about your fears, I don't know what sort of help you're receiving but talking can help, I hate those categories but remember they have to cover themselves if they put "impossible under 70" and someone got it they would be in trouble and in the same way if you think it's impossible you might just not go doctors.
Hope you feel better soon but honestly its been a year and you don't have it, please try accept this and get help for the anxiety you don't want to live like this
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Yes, I should not, but I do. 40. Now, they say that it is very uncommon in those under 40 but mostly affects people over 70. But having turned 40 I am now in the category where it is no longer so extremely unlikely as it was a few years ago.:weep:
---------- Post added at 21:13 ---------- Previous post was at 21:11 ----------
It is the tone that someone here is taking towards me that I dont really appreciate. Especially your tone. Using words like drivel, victim, shit, blabber etc. I am suffering a mental health problem that is disabling me socially and mentally and yu are using a belitteling language in a quite abusive form. If you dont like to hear about it this forum may not be for you.
When will you stick to your promise of not answering my posts? I wish you did.
Frankly, I don’t recall saying I wouldn’t answer your posts, if I did then I’ve probably forgotten because I don’t keep a diary to remind me what I’ve said to who and when I said it.
I’ll leave you with this, then. You find my tone offensive, well I find yours full of self pity. All I want is for you to at least try and accept responsibility for yourself. You will never get over this if you don’t take that first step.
ServerError
15-11-17, 20:34
I would not describe myself as triggered. I would describe myself as saddened. You constantly repeat the idea that it is your opinions, or your expressing of those opinions that we have a problem with.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: I have no issue with your opinion.
I only have a problem with your expressing of that opinion to the extent that you are trapped in a relentless loop that involves constantly sharing the same opinion over and over again. Everything I have said, whether you like it or not, contains important things for you to think about if you ever want to get out of this loop.
This is now pages and pages of circular "discussion" about the merits of how information about diseases is shared in the media etc. As are most of your threads. So I'll ask again - what do you want? You're welcome to say "I just want some empathy". It's a perfectly acceptable thing to seek, especially when suffering like you are. But you don't give us a clue. What are you getting out of constantly rehashing the same opinion over and over? Is that helping you in any way? Honestly. Has it helped over the past year of doing the same thing? Do you want another 12 months to pass living this way?
I can tell you why I joined this forum. I know why I used to start threads and what I was looking for. But come on, tell us what we (I don't just mean me, but everybody here) can do to help you at this point.
I gladly take advice from friendly posts. like Terry and Fish and such
I've been reading this thread and I have to agree with the replies. Many are saying to seek real life professional help and that you're responsible for the angst you're suffering. You've been asked several times what you want. So I'll ask nicely. What do you want from the people here? :) (smiley for friendly effect)
Positive thoughts
ServerError
15-11-17, 20:45
That's another thing - if you go back to the start of this thread, there's absolutely nothing unfriendly about any of my advice. I only became even remotely confrontational when I was told that I shouldn't bother posting if I don't like the opinions expressed. The frustration comes from the deflection techniques - it's not about the opinions. It's about how you, the sufferer, take control of your life and deal with the world as it is rather than as you wish it were.
For the record, I reply in the way I do when it becomes clear that the “friendly” approach is about as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike. Maybe a curt response aimed at kicking some sense into you will work. Maybe not. Got to try though.
paranoid-viking
15-11-17, 22:31
I honestly think you need to just try talk to someone about your fears, I don't know what sort of help you're receiving but talking can help, I hate those categories but remember they have to cover themselves if they put "impossible under 70" and someone got it they would be in trouble and in the same way if you think it's impossible you might just not go doctors.
Hope you feel better soon but honestly its been a year and you don't have it, please try accept this and get help for the anxiety you don't want to live like this
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
It is not impossible at any age, but it is extremely rare under 40 and quite rare between 40 and 60.
But Bill Hicks died of it only 31 years old, but yeah he was a very unusual case.
But you are replying in a friendly way and I appreciate that. Which I can not say of a certain other poster.
---------- Post added at 23:31 ---------- Previous post was at 23:29 ----------
I’m simply asking what you plan to do about your anxiety, as is server. Should I assume, because you won’t answer, that you’re quite happy to be anxious about unrealistic concerns and you’re content to just blabber on about how oh so unfair the internet and the world is on poor little you?
Why should I give to much personal details to people whose belitteling severe mental health problems? Should I give you detailed info of the fact that I was atempting suicide when I was 16 and kept under care for that? I think I gave you too much info allready?
Why should I give to much personal details to people whose belitteling severe mental health problems? Should I give you detailed info of the fact that I was atempting suicide when I was 16 and kept under care for that? I think I gave you too much info allready?
How is telling me what you plan to do to tackle your anxiety giving me “personal information”? What are you talking about, seriously?
I’m simply wanting you to stop going out of your way to read things on the internet that are scaring you to death. Is that such a hard thing to understand? Admit that it’s you who is responsible for what you search for online, stop blaming everyone else and start to develop some kind of plan of action in order to deal with your anxiety.
Or, don’t do those things and I’ll see you back here this time next year, probably talking about the exact same things.
paranoid-viking
15-11-17, 22:40
I would not describe myself as triggered. I would describe myself as saddened. You constantly repeat the idea that it is your opinions, or your expressing of those opinions that we have a problem with.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: I have no issue with your opinion.
I only have a problem with your expressing of that opinion to the extent that you are trapped in a relentless loop that involves constantly sharing the same opinion over and over again. Everything I have said, whether you like it or not, contains important things for you to think about if you ever want to get out of this loop.
This is now pages and pages of circular "discussion" about the merits of how information about diseases is shared in the media etc. As are most of your threads. So I'll ask again - what do you want? You're welcome to say "I just want some empathy". It's a perfectly acceptable thing to seek, especially when suffering like you are. But you don't give us a clue. What are you getting out of constantly rehashing the same opinion over and over? Is that helping you in any way? Honestly. Has it helped over the past year of doing the same thing? Do you want another 12 months to pass living this way?
I can tell you why I joined this forum. I know why I used to start threads and what I was looking for. But come on, tell us what we (I don't just mean me, but everybody here) can do to help you at this point.
OK, from you and GaryA I want - nothing. We have been in enough discussions already and I can only confirm to the fact that we are not getting very well along in this discussions.
Not everyone is a profesional psychologist. If someone has similar experience to mine and it turned out fine I welcome it. But being critisised for my mental helath problem is not really nice or welcomed and it is not going to change anything.
If it saddens you to hear it then I recommend you to do something that makes you happy.
There are people who dont think my opinions are drivel but you are free to feel that they are.
Is thos forum not to share experience as having helath anxiety. But it is my experience that a lot of people here; I mean; the most regular posters dont have anxiety at all. Maybe someone had it long time ago. I pretty much giving up hoping for reassurance; that pretty much backfires. I see that this was more common on threads 5 years ago so I try to look at those. I mean; come on; I posted something on the IBS Froum - yes the IBS Forum - about wheter some issues I had was IBS related and in was another poster sworming in with patronising attidtudes and asked me if I was seing a therapist which was god damned rude as I was asking in the IBS forum - I was not asking for someone to burst in woth irrelavant questions fo a private nature. What does asking such questions has to do in the IBS forum?
I am not the first to adress the issue of health scares in the media, I found older threads in the archives. And it is pretty much the same issues that I share.
So again; if you dont like what I read, dont waste your time on it because it is not going to change a single thing.
ServerError
15-11-17, 22:49
I'm not responsible for what someone said to you in the IBS forum.
I'm not belittling your condition. Ask my therapist if I have anxiety or not. The only person doing any belittling here is you.
You don't want anything from me - fine. But sooner or later you're going to have to answer the question of what you want to yourself. You'll have to find a way to see how your own behaviour keeps you trapped. There is no alternative.
I don't mean you any offence and all I can do is wish you the best and hope something sparks a change that improves your life. You'll be amazed when it happens.
How many times do you need to be told that, actually, nobody disagrees with your opinions about the media and how they approach health topics, all we’re saying is that we’ve heard it from you now on dozens of occasions.
Your thread title is “the fear is not letting go and it gets worse”, which implies you want some help in dealing with your fear. Yet, all you seem to want to do is bemoan something that’s completely out of everyone’s control and shirk your own responsibility. That is drivel, and I genuinely don’t care if you don’t like hearing it, it’s the truth.
Oh no I know it's not impossible I mean this is why websites use terms about unlikely etc, I really wouldn't worry but I know that isn't helpful, sorry to hear about your suicide attempt.
I'm sure someone will be willing to help you and you can enjoy life again, I guess it's just one of those things with getting older in fact my mum who is 52 was on about this the other day, she feels like every serious illness is now shoved down her throat because of reaching a certain age.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
paranoid-viking
15-11-17, 23:12
Sorry if I was to crass with someone, I mean no offence. I am just so frustrated that it wont let go.
I am on waiting list for endoscopy and I hope they find that the cause for my pain was some gastric issue.
But that dont explain why there is a yellow tinge on my arms.
ServerError
15-11-17, 23:18
Sorry if I was to crass with someone, I mean no offence. I am just so frustrated that it wont let go.
Fair play to you for admitting that. It's actually a big step, even if it doesn't feel like one. You've just acknowledged where this is all really coming from. Well done, honestly.
One of the reasons I persisted rather than just letting it go was that I knew that frustration was playing a major role. I suspect you don't even really know yourself what it is you're really looking for from the forum. Probably it's the same thing I was looking for at one time: reassurance and magic words that makes it all go away. That's not to belittle you. I was there too and almost everyone who signs up seems to start out looking for someone to say something that makes them feel instantly better. The problem is that, the harder you seek it, the worse the spiral gets. It's always elusive.
There's not much more I can say to you, I don't think. There's loads of good advice on this forum and resources online that can help somebody looking to recover from anxiety to get better. Real-world help is crucial, though, and I really hope you'll seek it without prejudice.
I'm sure your endoscopy will come back fine.
Annaboodle
15-11-17, 23:23
Hi. You posted on the IBS forum here, which is a sub-section under symptoms on No More Panic. It is an anxiety website, so of course people are going to ask you about your anxiety since it is what causes the IBS symptoms for posters on here. Remember that many do not specifically have health anxiety and therefore accept that their symptoms are the result of whatever anxiety or panic disorder they are living with. Perfectly reasonable to ask about what you are doing about the underlying anxiety. Don't post on an anxiety forum if you don't want advice about anxiety, surely?
Server and Gary are honestly trying to help you. Both have simply been asking you what you hope to achieve by essentially starting the same thread over and over on here. They are suggesting that it would be better for your anxiety to start to take responsibility for it. At the moment you don't. You blame others. I've read your posts. Can you see that you are blaming others? - the media, tabloids, individuals posting on forums, etc. for your fear of PC?
Now, PC is one of my fears (I won't list the others, but there is a theme, based on my long history as a raging alcoholic). But I have to say, as I do not Google or look online for stories relating to PC, I am simply not seeing the scaremongering you are claiming distresses you so much. I don't see stories, other than perhaps a mention when a personality has died from PC or I'll see a poster or two at my doctors listing v. basic symptoms. And I am in the UK - a place you claim is so bad for scaremongering awareness raising. You must be actively hunting for these stories to believe that there is scaremongering on this scale. As another poster pointed out, cancer campaigns exist to raise money for research, treatment, support and to raise awareness of conditions. They are not maliciously targeting health anxiety sufferers, which to read your posts you would honestly believe they were.
It is not the awareness campaigns or stories that is the problem here. Even with my own fear of PC I can see these in passing and not be consumed by them. It is your reaction to what you are seeing that is skewed. Your thinking has just gotten so distorted - I totally understand why and I sympathise, but at some point a person has got to take responsibility for themselves and their issues and get professional help.
Sorry if I was to crass with someone, I mean no offence. I am just so frustrated that it wont let go.
I am on waiting list for endoscopy and I hope they find that the cause for my pain was some gastric issue.
But that dont explain why there is a yellow tinge on my arms.
This is the most forthright and honest reply of the thread as well as the most revealing to the severity of your anxiety. You literally go from "I'm so frustrated" to a worry about a perceived yellow tinge on your arms in three sentences.
This is why so many as well as myself are asking you about real life help. Dude... mental issues are a PITA. I'm not a sufferer but I have dealt with depression and "scanxiety". I hated the way I felt but I recognized it as a mental issue and sought help, worked hard and I'm good :)
What people are saying is seek that help. You don't have the power to change the way things are in the world but you do have the power to change yourself and you're thinking about those things.
Positive thoughts
MyNameIsTerry
16-11-17, 04:50
I gladly take advice from friendly posts. like Terry and Fish and such, but not from posters who are constantly negative and abusive with variations of "you are just a self pitying hypocondriac, stop being a hypocondriac and snap out of it". Yeah, never heard that before. Sorry if I am crass, but that is the only answer you are going to get.
Nothing you write is going to change anything, thats for sure.
People have their differing beliefs about the best way to handle these situations. Some like a direct approach, some don't. It's a debate that's been going on since before I joined I would imagine, I've been involved in many of these discussions and we've never come to any agreement on it. But the site rules about respect & space should still hold.
If you feel you need to address something you believe has crossed a line (for you) then that's your choice and Admin are there to support you if you can't resolve an issue with someone. And you are under no obligation to discuss things you regard as private so we have to respect that and everyone's personal lines differ...which may not always spring to mind on a board where people are discussing intimate bodily fluids!
This is a general point made to PV, it's not about how others are talking on this thread.
Having said this, I would suggest looking at what people are all saying and taking a step back if emotion seems to be running high. And the same for others, we never know how ill someone is on the other end of this screen so sometimes things are getting taken another way, sadly a drawback of the written word.
---------- Post added at 04:50 ---------- Previous post was at 02:38 ----------
Hmm....although one should not sound to conspiratoric but I belie ve there are something to the big pharma theoires. We saw it during the tamiflu hysteria. There were docs on TV alarming about something like 500 000 people were going to die and thats why everybody must be vacinated. I actually refused to do so:yesyes: Sound strange, but even hypocondriacs have common sense.
Drug companies just make money. If they were that bothered about helping us all they wouldn't create drugs like antidepressants and never come back to improve them.
Again, like the wrongs of the media & internet, it's just life. It will be like this long after all of us on here have died a happy quiet death at the age of 120! Don't expect them to care.
But I believe this is all distracting you from addressing the real issues here. Reading 500+ biographies of celebrity cancer sufferers is obsessive to me and I wonder why you do this. Do you feel you need to? Do you feel it helps you? Is it truly a genuine interest? I have a suspicion it's about obsession and reassurance, which keeps you locked in the cycle.
Do you struggle to address issues outside of things like this obsession with media issues? Are you afraid to eliminate them?
OK, from you and GaryA I want - nothing. We have been in enough discussions already and I can only confirm to the fact that we are not getting very well along in this discussions.
Not everyone is a profesional psychologist. If someone has similar experience to mine and it turned out fine I welcome it. But being critisised for my mental helath problem is not really nice or welcomed and it is not going to change anything.
If it saddens you to hear it then I recommend you to do something that makes you happy.
There are people who dont think my opinions are drivel but you are free to feel that they are.
Is thos forum not to share experience as having helath anxiety. But it is my experience that a lot of people here; I mean; the most regular posters dont have anxiety at all. Maybe someone had it long time ago. I pretty much giving up hoping for reassurance; that pretty much backfires. I see that this was more common on threads 5 years ago so I try to look at those. I mean; come on; I posted something on the IBS Froum - yes the IBS Forum - about wheter some issues I had was IBS related and in was another poster sworming in with patronising attidtudes and asked me if I was seing a therapist which was god damned rude as I was asking in the IBS forum - I was not asking for someone to burst in woth irrelavant questions fo a private nature. What does asking such questions has to do in the IBS forum?
I am not the first to adress the issue of health scares in the media, I found older threads in the archives. And it is pretty much the same issues that I share.
So again; if you dont like what I read, dont waste your time on it because it is not going to change a single thing.
Well I’m a somewhat regular poster. But if you search for all the threads I have started on my health issues you won’t find any. I have never come here and asked for advice on health issues. That doesn’t mean that I never had HA. I did for nearly 3 years and it was just as severe as yours. I come here to help people and in the process it helps me. There are people here who think I lack compassion. During my years battling HA compassion got me absolutely nowhere, neither did reassurance. My psychiatrist was one of the most forthright people I have ever met in my life. I can never remember him being kind. But who cares? It is because of nearly 3 years of therapy with him that I recovered.
I understand your need for reassurance and I think sometimes it can help. As long as seeking it doesn’t become a habit. It helps to know that someone has had the same symptoms as you and it turned out to be nothing. But if after asking for reassurance, being given it and feeling reassured you go back to reading horror stories about PC then very few people are going to want to offer you reassurance again.
Everyone on this board are either here trying to get help with their HA or they are here to try and help people like you. Why would people who don’t have HA want to hang out on a forum like this one? That makes no sense. There are plenty of forums where you can go for discussions with people who don’t have mental health issues. So you are wrong if you believe people on this thread aren’t trying to help you.
Maybe if you resolved to stay away from reading horror stories for a while and dropped in and posted about that you might find people would be kinder to you. But you have to show that you are trying.
You don’t have PC.
Well said, swajj.
---------- Post added at 08:52 ---------- Previous post was at 08:15 ----------
I always find it amusing when irate and challenged posters assume that regular posters don't have anxiety at all....
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