Anyone here chronically ill and have health anxiety?

[Capercrohnj]

Hi, I won't go into too many details about my illnesses as they could be triggering (unless someone asks, I'm pretty open about my experiences) but I was deathly ill with severe Crohn's disease (crohn's colitis/perianal crohn's) when i was diagnosed in January 2015. I avoided going to the doctor for so long that it almost killed me. In February 2015 i developed a horrible complication that didn't resolve which lead to a total proctocolectomy (removal of colon rectum and anus) with end ileostomy in May 2017. The surgery really helped as the 2 years i had this complication were hell and i was suicidal, etc. Having an ileostomy is way better than what i was dealing with. Part of my incision opened so i couldn't go back on my meds (immunosuppressants) until it healed (still not healed). I had a MRI enterography on Oct 2 which unexpectedly showed inflammation in my stomach which was confirmed as a Crohn's recurrence (gastroduodenal Crohn's which is very rare only 4% of those with Crohn's get it there) with an upper endoscopy on Nov 1. I went to the ER on Oct 30 with severe upper abdominal pain and vomiting and i am still admitted 19 days later. I also had a gastric emptying study just as a precaution and it ended up showing i have very severe gastroparesis (i had 54% left in stomach at 4hrs when 10% is normal also very rare). I am calm and rational (but of course angry, frustrated and depressed because my doctors and I expected that i would have much longer in remission before it returned) about my Crohn's and gastroparesis. I don't panic plus i can use dr google responsibly for everything GI related.

However, i have health anxiety in other aspects of my life that aren't GI related. I do have OCD, GAD, bipolar type 2 and mostly recovered anorexia bibge/purge subtype.

Is anyone else like this? How am I calm and rational about my serious illnesses but irrational and anxious about everyrhing else? I'm so strong but so weak. I'm not sure what i can do to help. I'm on a waiting list for a psychiatrist but it's at least a 15 month wait. I'm on trazodone but my gp doesn't feel comfortable prescribing meds because antidepressants alone make me very hypomanic.

[tryingtosurvive1]

I have Charcot Marie Tooth and have health anxiety. The clinic for CMT also treats ALS patients on another day and I freak out about that whenever I go in.

---------- Post added at 20:21 ---------- Previous post was at 20:17 ----------

I'm very sorry about your digestive system issues. Does the UK (I'm assuming you are there, correct me if I'm wrong) provide even like a social worker to talk to? some kind of palliative care in addition to the cure-related steps (palliative care is not just for terminal illnesses, I've discovered).

I am seeing a therapist, a psychiatrist and a PT on occasion!

xoxoxo

[MyNameIsTerry]

You have a hell of a lot to cope with, Capercrohnj. I've read about your Crohns in a few of your posts and also those you've seen struggling with it.

Is there a support group for Crohns? Maybe even online? I would guess that depression is common alongside this and maybe anxiety too.

I think NMP's owner has this too but I might be mistaken. There are members on here who have had heart attacks, cancer, etc so they would likely understand these battles.

I have asthma but it's always been a manageable thing. Over the last couple of years I've started having back trouble and it seems to be impacting on my breathing and it is very annoying and stops me doing things I want. I am a bit concerned about this and looking at things I can try since doctors just throw new inhalers at you and don't even bother to talk about practical improvements. But that's nothing compared to what you have been going through and I think you deserve a lot of respect for dealing with something so tough and one of these too :hugs:

I can also understand the whole dealing with the big stuff but struggling with the small stuff. Not from a health perspective but from other events I've had to deal with. I coped, I more than coped with some, and they were obvious challenges for my anxiety. And then I'm struggling again at home doing basic things like getting motivated to do stuff or change a routine, etc. :doh:

In some ways I think it's about the mind using the fear cycle for what it was intended for - fight or flight in a rational situation, not an irrational one. There is often nothing to do in an irrational one and no reason for it to be there. But when faced with something we can get moving on, we get it done. It kicks in the sense of empowerment and we feel in control, even though we aren't a lot of the time. The adrenaline kicks in and it's gets used for what a non anxious person would and we end up realising we are stronger than we think...and then those little irrational things starts again and it's :doh::wall:

You are strong. Unless your anxiety is so severe & general that it's affecting everything you do, you will have areas where you are strong and areas where you are not. It's not an all-or-nothing. And so much in anxiety can be avoided or delayed, as secretly we often know they are non issues, whereas here you are confronted with a situation you have no choice but to deal with and that has outcomes if you ignore it.

[paranoid-viking]

I have GERD. Does that count as a chronic ilness?