emmegee
18-11-17, 14:55
Hi everyone-
I am currently going through yet another health anxiety episode/struggle, which is familiar territory for me. I am a 46 year old single mom to two teens. My health anxiety episodes typically last a couple months. They began in adolescence and I have gone sometimes years between episodes. About twenty years ago I started taking sertraline and have been on/off it ever since.
My severe HA scares have been : ALS, MS, Esophageal cancer (had this one twice and am currently in the midst of this), heart disease. These have all been in the last ten years.
My minor scares that raised my anxiety for about a month but were not overall debilitating: Brain cancer, colon cancer, stomach cancer, breast cancer, heart disease again, Naegleria fowleri (brain eating amoeba after jumping into a lake and getting water up my nose).
Most of these episodes were triggered by learning about someone with the disease and hearing more about it. Then hyperfocusing on what it must be like to have it.
My last three major episodes (MS, ALS, esophageal cancer) have been particularly debilitating and included more "panic" than the previous. Each time I lose a ton of weight. I guess what I am seeing is that this seems to be getting worse. This feels very defeating... like am I destined to suffer worse and worse for the rest of my life with this? I do recognize that this all stems from a lifelong fear of death and suffering.
So questions for others out there:
Have any of you in mid-life found your health anxiety has gotten worse?
Have any females found that peri-menopause could be making these mid-life episodes worse?
Any "pearls of wisdom" from others that have suffered with HA for many years?
Any words of encouragement and shared similar stories are greatly appreciated.
My current plan: I see my primary doc regularly, and do not make appointments for every little thing. Example: if I notice a minor health worry, I try to wait a few weeks or a month to see if it goes away before going to the doc. I also see a psychiatrist for my meds and a therapist. I have been diagnosed with lifelong depression and anxiety. I am very high-functioning, never miss work (I am a teacher and love my job), and hide my struggles quite well. I try to get some exercise each day, yoga once a week, increasing sertraline and considering permanently staying on it.
I'm feeling defeated and quite depressed over going through this again so soon after my last major episode a year ago. I also feel so very frustrated with myself for not "believing" my logical mind and instead being drawn into (and being controlled by) my emotional fear.
Thanks for reading-
-emme
I am currently going through yet another health anxiety episode/struggle, which is familiar territory for me. I am a 46 year old single mom to two teens. My health anxiety episodes typically last a couple months. They began in adolescence and I have gone sometimes years between episodes. About twenty years ago I started taking sertraline and have been on/off it ever since.
My severe HA scares have been : ALS, MS, Esophageal cancer (had this one twice and am currently in the midst of this), heart disease. These have all been in the last ten years.
My minor scares that raised my anxiety for about a month but were not overall debilitating: Brain cancer, colon cancer, stomach cancer, breast cancer, heart disease again, Naegleria fowleri (brain eating amoeba after jumping into a lake and getting water up my nose).
Most of these episodes were triggered by learning about someone with the disease and hearing more about it. Then hyperfocusing on what it must be like to have it.
My last three major episodes (MS, ALS, esophageal cancer) have been particularly debilitating and included more "panic" than the previous. Each time I lose a ton of weight. I guess what I am seeing is that this seems to be getting worse. This feels very defeating... like am I destined to suffer worse and worse for the rest of my life with this? I do recognize that this all stems from a lifelong fear of death and suffering.
So questions for others out there:
Have any of you in mid-life found your health anxiety has gotten worse?
Have any females found that peri-menopause could be making these mid-life episodes worse?
Any "pearls of wisdom" from others that have suffered with HA for many years?
Any words of encouragement and shared similar stories are greatly appreciated.
My current plan: I see my primary doc regularly, and do not make appointments for every little thing. Example: if I notice a minor health worry, I try to wait a few weeks or a month to see if it goes away before going to the doc. I also see a psychiatrist for my meds and a therapist. I have been diagnosed with lifelong depression and anxiety. I am very high-functioning, never miss work (I am a teacher and love my job), and hide my struggles quite well. I try to get some exercise each day, yoga once a week, increasing sertraline and considering permanently staying on it.
I'm feeling defeated and quite depressed over going through this again so soon after my last major episode a year ago. I also feel so very frustrated with myself for not "believing" my logical mind and instead being drawn into (and being controlled by) my emotional fear.
Thanks for reading-
-emme