Nearly at the end of my tether...

[Dusty]

I'm sorry guys. I don't know where else to go.

I feel awful. I feel like my whole world is collapsing round me and I hate it.

Where do I start?

I'm anxious because I'm tired and not sleeping well. I'm not sleeping because I'm anxious. I feel really bad at moaning at you all. I didn't who else I could pour my heart out too.

I can't stop crying. I feel so alone. WOrst of all, the one person I thought cared for me almost unconditionally seems to be putting his job and career before me and the kids.

He's going to be in London on my little girls birthday. He can't make presentation evening. And he's told me he's double booked all the way up to when we go on holiday. At least he will be doing that.

And now I feel guilty because I know he does care, and he is only working all the hours God sends to supoort me and the children.

I'm also feeling bad because my ten year old son shouldn't have to see his mum like this. I told him just now how much I hate feeling like this and he told me he hated it too - me feeling like this that is.

I don't know what way to turn.

Part of me is screaming - one good nights sleep and you'll feel much better. It is true. But I'm scared. So Scared. What if I never sleep properly again. This is what I'm like when I'm tired and it's horrible. I know other people live with insomnia but do they feel like there's nothing to go on for when they're this tired??

I'm so sorry to be so depressing, but I'm at my wits end and I just wamted - I don't know what I wanted but I had to tell someone.

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Dusty,

First of all try to not be so hard on yourself, you are doing great. I would try and take a warm bath or shower before bed, keep a routine, go to bed at the same time each night, no t.v. in bed, read a book or something before bed and try to see if that helps. Also, get up at the same time each morning and get at least 15 minutes of sunlight. I realize there might not be much sun in Wales but get what you can. If the insomnia continues you might want to speak with your GP. I got all this information from my doctor and it helped me. I hope you and your family have a great time on holiday and you will be able to relax and enjoy.

:hugs:

Laura :flowers:

[happyone]

Dusty,
I can only echo what laura has said and add that exercise, in the morning is a good way to set your body up for sleep at night.
i don't know if you have depresion, but it sounds like you do to me. Are you on meds? Insomnia was such a big deal in my life it ruled everything. I used to fall asleep then waken in the early hours of he morning. I take meds now for the depression, which help me to sleep too.
You will sleep properly again hunny, you just need to be able to believe that.
You can also try herbal sleep medicine. Boots used to do a good one, can't remember what it was called, but it was their own make.
Meditation? have you tried that? It is good for winding you down and lessening the anx.
If it continues though, I would consider going to see your doc.
AND....don't ever be sorry for sharing your troubles, that is what we do here!
:hugs:
Happyone
xx