O.C.D?

[leas]

I'm struggling to put this out there or tell anyone about this as it's something I feel confused by and embarrassed by. When I was around 10 years of age (I'm now nearly nineteen) I began to get the urge to 'touch wood' and if I didn't something bad would happen - I still get these thoughts to this day and I am honestly so drained by them at this point. The thoughts can be really scary and can be very violent towards people I love and cherish. I also have thoughts that if I do certain things for a certain amount of time (this usually involves holding my breath, or doing any movement with my body) that something good will happen, and if I fail something bad will happen. I have researched this and people who have been diagnosed without O.C.D seem to do similar things as what I do.

I am also so scared to touch any metal cutlery, and glasses! I have been using plastic cups and cutlery since I was thirteen years of age. Could this be something to do with O.C.D?

Please note - I'm not asking to be diagnosed or expecting that, I know unless you're medically trained you're not capeable of that. But what I am asking for is advice if you have any!

Thanks :)

[MyNameIsTerry]

It's a theme in OCD called Magical Thinking. OCD UK have examples here:

https://www.ocduk.org/types-ocd

Anyone may do them just as they may do any other OCD compulsions e.g. check locks, check gas knobs, excessive cleaning, etc but it becomes OCD when it is severe enough to be affecting your life.

Magical Thinking is one of my OCD themes. Funnily enough you've mentioned a couple I did. I used to perform some due to violent thoughts about loved ones too. This is where two themes have combined because harm based intrusive thoughts are another you can see in that link I posted. Because Magical Thinking is largely compulsion based it be become the ritual to another form's obsession.

I've addressed them now though and stopped doing them, well I may still do the odd thing here & there but it's no longer connected to fear and no more than a non anxious person may do.

Please don't feel embarrassed about it. It's actually quite common in children and most grow out of it. Even then non anxious people have superstitious behaviours e.g. not walking under ladders, issues with unlucky numbers, touching wood, etc.