View Full Version : No more headaches, so back to ALS :(
Well I posted a couple days ago that my recent worry has been with a brain tumor, since I had been having headaches lately.
Well those stopped, and now I am back to ALS. I've been feeling all day like my right thumb was slower than my left, and I have limited range of motion with it. Yesterday it was my pink that I thought felt weak, but it feels fine today. Now my thumb feels slow and fatigued.
So to test I ran my thumb in a circular motion over the buttons on my remote control as fast as I could. Both thumbs go at about the same, but on my right side (the side in question) my hand sorta shakes the remote back and forth a bit, like I can't move my thumb without the help of my hand. And on my left I can hold the remote totally still. It does feel like my right thumb is harder to move. And this really spikes my anxiety.
Yes, I can see how nutty this is...as if I went to a neuro and said "hey so when I do this test with my remote control..." s/he's probably just look at me strange.
But I read this ALS story today about a woman who couldn't play piano like she used to and she couldn't keep the same beat with the one thumb like she used to and she had ALS. So here I am .
ATL
Stop reading horror stories. That's no comparison to the "remote test" of yours lol. Now if you couldn't press the volume button with your right thumb yea you have strength issues. Only you can get over this fear and sitting there doing strength tests and reading ALS stories isn't going to help it. Just like your pinky I'm sure your thumb will get better. After that you can choose to let this go or continue this downward spiral. Therapy helps so does medication you just have to put forth the effort . You can do it! :yesyes:
Everyone has a dominant/stronger/more agile hand. I really wish you wouldn't post the details of your bizarre strength tests. It's triggering.
MyNameIsTerry
22-11-17, 04:45
Yep, it's often how it goes. Ever heard the phrase "one pain lessens another"? I found this was the case with my symptoms. As I worked on recovery I got rid of some and others appeared but when I thought about it I realised many of them were always there, just out of focus as the big ones were busy giving me a daily kicking.
Testing yourself is reacting to the thoughts in the obsession. It's the compulsion if you have OCD. (That's not to be mixed up with a testing compulsion that aims to trigger the same fear response in OCD, that's a different compulsion as it's more a trigger to the cycle than a response)
Reading stories is engaging with the obsession. It gives importance to it and validates it's need to exist in the subconscious.
Both of these activities only aim to reinforce the problem.
Your brain tumour worry took the focus away and look how you weren't bothered about ALS. Now the trick is doing the same but with healthy activity and the ALS worries will fade due to recovery work.
Nivekc251- thank you for the encouragement. You're right, it really is up to me.
Melfish- I'm sorry to trigger you. I didn't think about that but I can see how it would. I'll be more cautious in the future. It does appear that my right thumb is more agile than my left. Though it's only been through nutty testing that I found this out.
Terry- it's so tru, for the week I was on the brain tumor kick ALS barely even registered. I even remember thinking "geez I'm glad I didn't waste my money on a neuron appointment, that would have been dumb." And yet...
Ok one thought before I call it a night that might help get me out of this hole: even if I DID HAVE ALS/brain tumor, etc. right now at this moment I don't have any loss of function - I can do everything I want to do. Shouldn't I get busy living?? Do I really want to spent this time I am physically healthy stuck in my living room doing stupid remote control tests on my thumbs while my wife wonders what the hec I am doing?? No way.
That's my mantra at this moment.
Atl.
for the week I was on the brain tumor kick ALS barely even registered. I even remember thinking "geez I'm glad I didn't waste my money on a neuron appointment, that would have been dumb." And yet...
I had a similar week's reprieve due to a new health concern. But I'm back at it too ...
Also, good mantra.
MyNameIsTerry
22-11-17, 05:06
Yes, absolutely! Healthy behaviour is important and part of therapy as we need more time in the positive and the normal! Do something nice with or for your wife, get a nice emotional boost for doing something for someone important in your life (or anyone, helping others nourishes you in return).
In therapy one approach may be to dispell it through agreement. It's not truly agreeing but just trying to stop a negative reaction to the fear which it thrives on. And getting on with life without fear stopping us is very important, just damn hard :biggrin:, so much so anyone will say this and Claire Weekes saw it as an important approach and spawned many others authors books off the back of it.
tryingtosurvive1
22-11-17, 05:56
Unless you have a specialist's knowledge of anatomy your tests are pretty pointless. And even specialists can't test themselves. So stop it!
Look, you have OCD. So do I so I'm not judging. If you want more wholesome reassurance try doing some gentle exercise! like brisk walking with light weights--NOT remote twiddling. lol.
I hope the move from ALS to brain tumors to ALS has proven to you that it’s not a medical condition, it’s HA OCD, right? Same with you, Mel.
My ALS phobia was eclipsed briefly by the sudden appearance of Raynaud's (no mistaking that!), which of course has me worried about autoimmune conditions like scleroderma etc. Raynaud's is usually secondary at my age. But ALS is still my main concern. Oddly, I'm OK if it's "just" scleroderma ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
No more headaches, so back to ALS :(
I want you to read this and ponder what you're doing to yourself. It's all self inflicted.
Positive thoughts
My ALS phobia was eclipsed briefly by the sudden appearance of Raynaud's (no mistaking that!), which of course has me worried about autoimmune conditions like scleroderma etc. Raynaud's is usually secondary at my age. But ALS is still my main concern. Oddly, I'm OK if it's "just" scleroderma ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Yeah, that just reinforces what I'm saying...its not a medical condition, it's a mental condition.
paranoid-viking
22-11-17, 19:39
I have never feared ALS, although it is one of the worst things one can get. Perhaps it because it is nothing that you can do to prevent it(so the guilt factor is not there) and because there is no cure or proper treatment. And most importantly, as I have no family history of it. I am a raving hypocondriac, but for some reason ALS and MS has never crossed my mind as something I would be scared of.
Most ALS is sporadic, not familial
paranoid-viking
22-11-17, 19:58
Most ALS is sporadic, not familial
Well, I know of one case where two members of the same family got it, so it can be hereditary.
Yes, 5-10% of cases are hereditary
Amen, on it being self inflicted. And sometimes I wonder why I am doing this to myself? What’s the motivation? What am I getting out of it?
But I also think it’s possible OCD and anxiety just happen and there is no “underlying cause.” It’s just some sort of a brain malfunctioned we are cursed with.
For me it always starts with some “kernel of truth.” For instance, my doc thinks I have some early CTS/RSI in my hand. And I jump to ALS. It’s also possible this hand is just not as fast coordinated my other. And I think a Lin time ago I jammed my left thumb repeatedly so it could be an old injury.
People don't do anything to get anxiety in any of its forms, whether it be GAD, OCD or agoraphobia. Some of us are born with it, but most of are born with a predisposition to it. Then through the course of live, due to the environment we grow up in and other stressors, after enough of these triggers, we develop it. But once you do develop it, it doesn't magically disappear, because even though it may seem like it to some people, it just magically didn't happen one day (unless you exposed to an extreme trauma). So you have to work on it to get it to go away, and it's hard work, but changing is never easy.
Are you right-handed?
Yes, I am right handed.
You're in therapy and/or medication right?
You're in therapy and/or medication right?
Not currently, no.
MyNameIsTerry
23-11-17, 02:38
I have never feared ALS, although it is one of the worst things one can get. Perhaps it because it is nothing that you can do to prevent it(so the guilt factor is not there) and because there is no cure or proper treatment. And most importantly, as I have no family history of it. I am a raving hypocondriac, but for some reason ALS and MS has never crossed my mind as something I would be scared of.
That's the same across all OCD. I've had many themes of OCD but never Contamination, religion, HOCD, ROCD, Schiz OCD, TOCD, etc. Why? And no HA elements to my OCD at all.
Just the same really. And that's why OCD has no label of theme, its about cycles only.
OCD "Pure O" themes tend to seek out your worst fears. For some it can be anything to do with disease. For others, it's specific. Something is making you fear this theme, or sub theme rather.
---------- Post added at 02:38 ---------- Previous post was at 02:28 ----------
Amen, on it being self inflicted. And sometimes I wonder why I am doing this to myself? What’s the motivation? What am I getting out of it?
But I also think it’s possible OCD and anxiety just happen and there is no “underlying cause.” It’s just some sort of a brain malfunctioned we are cursed with.
For me it always starts with some “kernel of truth.” For instance, my doc thinks I have some early CTS/RSI in my hand. And I jump to ALS. It’s also possible this hand is just not as fast coordinated my other. And I think a Lin time ago I jammed my left thumb repeatedly so it could be an old injury.
I don't think you do it to yourself consciously, your subconscious is just doing what it thinks is correct. A fear is develoed through learnt behaviour somehow, from there it is just replaying the programming you have shown it.
Once anxiety becomes a disorder, it is working too hard and making mistakes due to a negative bias in your thinking. All it is really doing though is what it is being told to do. It has no separate identity to allow it to say "sorry conscious mind, that's rubbish and I'm not creating that fear". Conscious mind however can do that but subconscious mind can only learn from observation of this and because the fear cycle was built to only expect "see bear, run or fight" it has no concept of "what a lovely, cute bear". Hence it is fighting you all the way.
As Vee says, even inherited genes need to be switched on. The process is called methylation and genes can be turned off again the same way. Cancer therapies are now being developed to exploit this process.
However, I disagree on predisposition as I don't think science has got quite far enough to tell us why other than how inheritance can happen (and how methylation can then flick the switch) but agree plenty of anxiety sufferers may be in that pot. Environmental factors are something I expect is causing a lot of these disorders and previously no data was held about all the people who may have experienced these things so it's a bit distorted.
Yes, I am right handed.
Then of course your right hand is going to be stronger and more dexterous :shrug:
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