Having a difficult spell [Archive]

ServerError

23-11-17, 06:51

Hi everyone,

Unfortunately, I'm going through a difficult and anxiety-inducing spell at the moment and I guess I am breaking my own rules here and looking for some reassuring words.

A few weeks ago, I noticed a strange twinge under my left ribs. Kinda wear the edge of the ribs are, where they meet the belly. I didn't think much of it, but I did find a bit of a lump, which made me nervous.

I saw my GP whose first instincts were that it was muscular pain. He couldn't feel the lump. I saw another doctor a couple of weeks later who did feel the lump and was adamant it was "fatty tissue".

Unfortunately, because the pain issue got in my head, I started to worry, and ended up back at the GP. The doctor I saw mentioned the possibility of an enlarged spleen and kidney issues, and sent off for blood tests. I'm waiting for the results.

Since then, my abdomen and bowels have been a complete mess. I'm plagued by constant pain all throughout my abdomen, a feeling like there something in my esophagus, constant gurgling and groaning from my belly, a loss of appetitie, and I'm hardly going to the toilet. My urine has gone dark and I seem to be urinating less frequently. My bowel movements are loose, but there isn't much to them.

The doctor says that he's not overly worried at the moment because I don't look ill and I've had several abdomenal exams without any major red flags.

Aside from that, there's just a general feeling that something is wrong with my insides. My concerns are the obvious scary things. Some kind of cancer or kidney failure. I guess I'll have a better idea when the blood test results come through, but does anyone have any reassurance to offer?

I genuinely don't know if this is a pure anxiety relapse, but even if it is, my symptoms are real.

katielovespizza

23-11-17, 07:27

Have you been drinking enough water? The dark urine and not urinating as often could be caused from dehydration. Everything you're describing here:

I'm plagued by constant pain all throughout my abdomen, a feeling like there something in my esophagus, constant gurgling and groaning from my belly, a loss of appetitie, and I'm hardly going to the toilet. My urine has gone dark and I seem to be urinating less frequently. My bowel movements are loose, but there isn't much to them.

...are all things I have personally experienced while being in an anxious state. I actually woke up one morning feeling as though I had been violently punched in the stomach (on top of all the things you've described). I saw several doctors, then a gastroenterologist and went through thorough testing, including an endoscopy. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Once I started treating my anxiety these issues slowly started to fade.

Anxiety symptoms are real, you're right. I have been there. And that's why we have to continually work on our anxiety to try to limit relapses like these.

Your symptoms are typical (at least for me) of anxiety. I've experienced them all and then some. Accepting that is the first step towards getting back in the right direction.

<3

ServerError

23-11-17, 07:30

I do feel like the doctors are itching to say it's anxiety, but obviously they just can't risk it.

I probably haven't been drinking enough water. I'm trying to up my intake now.

I really do feel ill. It's grim. My entire abdomen is just on fire. I do get feelings like I've been punched in the stomach or kicked in the back.

Just gonna have to stay as positive as I can and see what the doctor wants to do after I get my bloods back.

MyNameIsTerry

23-11-17, 07:37

Sounds like when you went back they decided to do some ruling out of possibilities and that could still mean any probability is low. And like your doctor says, you appear well so he's not concerned.

Then after the visit where potential things are mentioned, now comes a load of symptoms. Is that right? If so, these new ones are too conveniently near to that appointment so anxiety becomes a prime suspect.

Do you think these later side effects are due to being triggered?

Loose stools, poor eating, urinary problems, possible IBS like stuff. All within the realms of anxiety's powers. The darker urine suggests dehydration as Katie says.

At worst you could play on the safe side with your GP but if they don't think this is an indication of a worsening condition, it's going to be anxiety.

No need to worry about breaking rules, wobbles happen and no one expects you to be SuperServer all the time! :biggrin:

katielovespizza

23-11-17, 07:38

Definitely keep up with the water. You need water for so many things in your body, and I find myself feeling a little better overall if I've been good about drinking enough.

The abdomen being on fire was my worst and most persistent pain when I went through the worst period of anxiety in my life. I was miserable. I still get it sometimes when I'm anxious or stressed out, but I can usually fight it off by keeping my thoughts as calm as possible (especially since I've experienced it so much so I can acknowledge now it's anxiety and not some other crazy illness I'm making the jump to :wacko:).

Anxiety is a terrible beast that causes a lot of real, physical pain. You're not alone!

Staying positive is a great plan; the likelihood of anything being wrong based on your symptoms (especially knowing that you're experiencing anxiety) is extremely low. Doctors know how to find lumps, and usually if we pick and prod at ourselves enough we can find "lumps" that are actually just normal parts of our body.

Wishing you all the best<3

Primula

23-11-17, 07:59

Sorry you are going through this. It does sound like anxiety especially as it got worse after the doc mentioned spleen problems. I can't get over the inventiveness of anxiety and what it can do to you physically. Going through it myself again and all because I've been triggered by something I read. Logic tells me it's anxiety but trying to get my head to believe it is another thing. Hopefully you will have your results very soon and that will put your mind at rest, and no doubt the pains will dissipate very soon after.

swajj

23-11-17, 07:59

Doctors know lumps. My doctor told me that. Worrisome lumps that need further investigation feel different to fatty tissue etc. I’ll bet the pain under your ribs was a twinge until you really started focusing on it and then it grew more and more agonising. I’ve had everything you describe. Including the dark urine and reduced urine output. So it can be anxiety. I’ll just say what my old doctor used to say. Pain is one of the last symptoms of something sinister, you would have been very sick long before you reached the point of agonising pain.,

Primula

23-11-17, 08:40

I think you are spot on there swajj. Whatever we read, our doctors do know what they are talking about, and yes pain is usually the last sign of something sinister. Anxiety can cause awful pain, and yes the symptoms are real but our anxious minds latch on to them and make everything worse. Acid increases in the digestive system. Muscle tension causes headaches and all sorts of aches and pains throughout the body. Now I just have to get my own head around this again. Back to the drawing board again. :wacko:

swajj

23-11-17, 09:15

Primula do you remember the old neurologist that used to come here RLR? About 4 years ago I messaged him about my urine. :blush: I was worried about it being so dark and that sometimes the output was quite low. He messaged me back and said something about urine colour changing throughout the day as well as output changing. I can’t believe I did that or that I continued to worry about it for another year after. I can’t believe I worried about any of the things I did for those 3 years. And there were many. I’m sorry you are having to deal with HA again.

ServerError

23-11-17, 11:19

Annaboodle

23-11-17, 11:19

Hi Server, I'm sorry you're going through this just now. There was a good post just now from Jessieblue at the end of this thread http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=193223&page=4, just in case you didn't catch it. I thought it might be relatable.

ServerError

23-11-17, 12:06

EKB

23-11-17, 12:21

I just feel like all the good work I've done is being undone by this. I cannot see how it's going to be nothing to worry about if they want to see me. I begged them to see me sooner than Monday and they're seeing me as an emergency this afternoon so I guess I'll know more soon.

Good luck with your appointment. I hope all is well. Don't despair about undoing the work you've done on your anxiety. What worked before will work again. These rough patches happen, and we just need to be kind to ourselves and start working the plan again.

And if it's any consolation my guts go absolutely berserk when I'm in the throes of a bad patch. And my anxiety takes the exact shape of "there's something wrong inside me." So, I hope that's all that's wrong, but know to that even when it's "just anxiety" it's still rotten and scary. Good luck and be kind to yourself.

MyNameIsTerry

23-11-17, 12:38

Thanks for the advice so far guys.

I rang up for my blood test results and now I'm really feeling it. I was hoping they would just say "all normal", but they've told me I need to make an appointment. Earliest one is on Monday.

This is actually quite scary now...

Here's something you've probably seen in here hundreds of times and said yourself - if anything serious shows on a test it gets fast tracked to your GP to call you.

A flag to see your GP can be a something & nothing. It can just mean they need to follow something up. That can be something quote resolvable and remember - your GP was not concerned.

pulisa

23-11-17, 13:23

I'm glad that you will be seen this afternoon, Server. If it had been something really urgent you wouldn't have had to beg to be seen asap-you would have been told to come in asap. You haven't undone all your good work but we know we are always at the mercy of an HA scare and when we are vulnerable it gets us. You did right to have the tests and now you will find out what the issue is with the bloods and whether this would explain your symptoms. You are doing the sensible thing by getting checked out.

Ellient

23-11-17, 13:46

I don't have much advice on the symptom side of things but I hope it goes well at the doctors this afternoon and you start feeling better soon.

ServerError

23-11-17, 15:35

Just got back from the doctors. It seems the blood test results requiring me to make an appointment were a bit of a red herring in that the thing requiring further attention is not related to what we're investigating. It's a minor issue at the moment - raised cholesterol. The doctor said we can talk about it in the future but it's nothing to be too preoccupied with.

As for what we're actually trying to figure out, tests were unremarkable. I'm not diabetic. My liver and kidneys are functioning fine.

He's sending me for an ultrasound, but he said it's for reassurance and that, based on the evidence presenting to him, he doesn't think I have anything to worry about.

I've never had symptoms quite like this before. My innards feel angry. They sound it too. It's horrible. But I can't find a doctor that thinks I need urgent care, so there you have it.

Gary A

23-11-17, 15:39

I’d put quite a bit of money on it being IBS, especially as your blood work was normal yet you’re still suffering GI symptoms.

ServerError

23-11-17, 15:44

Ellient

23-11-17, 16:14

It could be IBS, but I was led to believe that IBS is generally relieved by going to the toilet. I know that could be wrong, but I don't Google these days.

IBS would be a welcome diagnosis, that's for sure!

I suffer terribly from IBS, I've been to the hospital on so many occasions and the pain was so bad I thought I was having something seriously bad wrong with me each time I've been sent away and it's been down to my IBS, that's how bad the pain can get (that's with going to the toilet aswell)

Glad your doctor doesn't think it's anything serious and hopefully you will feel better soon

Primula

23-11-17, 16:50

MyNameIsTerry

23-11-17, 17:10

It could be IBS, but I was led to believe that IBS is generally relieved by going to the toilet. I know that could be wrong, but I don't Google these days.

IBS would be a welcome diagnosis, that's for sure!

I'm not so sure about that but I've only ever had it mild for a short time, or something IBS like, but there are plenty on here that will understand this one. You've certainly got some of the symptoms of it.

If it is IBS, look towards the practical. I found peppermint tea really helped my spell of whatever it was and that's an IBS helper amongst other things e.g. bog roll in the fridge on the bad days :blush:

Glad to hear all is otherwise well. I've seen exactly that happen with people I know where a minor issue is raised for follow up and GP's don't regard it as anything more than a whenever type appointment. Our receptionists ring up to do this and get questioned about what it's for but they can't say hence anyone starts to question it as it's just the nature of the situation...like when you take your car in for something minor and get a message to ring the mechanic thus prompting a "oh, what the hell have they found now" moment.

See it as a lesson learned. Break down the bits where you believe you need to change what you do in this type of situation. CBT is all about giving the patient tools so they can learn to use them outside of therapy so stuff like this just means going back to that and having a think. The subconscious may still want to kick you if it happens again but you may be more prepared to halt it's gallop.

And don't be too hard on yourself. It's done, learn from it in a positive manner and get on with your day. Kicking yourself over it can impact your mood and you want to stay on the path you've worked hard to get on.

pulisa

23-11-17, 18:10

It could be IBS, but I was led to believe that IBS is generally relieved by going to the toilet. I know that could be wrong, but I don't Google these days.

IBS would be a welcome diagnosis, that's for sure!

I've got a diagnosis of IBS after hospital tests. Believe me it affects more than the abdomen and for me can be constant pain. I'm really pleased that your bloods were unremarkable. Why do we allow ourselves to panic when getting a recall? I hope you feel better this evening. At least you haven't got to wait till Monday now.

swajj

24-11-17, 07:59

I’m glad your blood work was ok too. All your hard work hasn’t been a waste of time. And your bouts of HA will become less severe and last a shorter period of time as time goes on. That’s how it was with me. I still think anxiety is creating your symptoms. I also think the ultrasound will turn out fine.

pulisa

24-11-17, 08:16

It's all about anxiety management as you know only too well and sometimes we are vulnerable and suggestible to triggers..particularly bodily sensations which don't feel right. Having the ultrasound will hopefully put things in perspective for you. I find with me, having that perspective and being able to dampen down the anxiety response is so important but you don't need me to tell you this!

swajj

24-11-17, 08:27

I’m like that too. There are topics on here I won’t read because I don’t want to take the chance that some symptom of something I have never even considered might get mentioned and it will trigger my HA. I know I am recovered but I just feel I need to be HA free for longer than a year before I can read some things. Occasionally I will inadvertently open a thread which is about something other than I thought from the title and I will immediately leave the thread without reading any further.

ServerError

24-11-17, 08:44

Things are still not great.

The pain and discomfort has lessened to an extent, but my bowels have ground to a total halt. Nothing is happening. My espphagus also just feels "wrong". It's also very unpleasant. I have no appetite and my emotions feel flattened and dulled.

I think what's bothering me the most is the thought this could be a long term issue.

pulisa

24-11-17, 08:52

Would you rather have had a referral to see a gastroenterologist? Stress can also cause slow motility and constipation-I suffer from this.

swajj

24-11-17, 08:58

Server it sounds like you are right in it. By that I mean your anxiety over the twinge under your ribs is now out of control. You are so logical and must know on some level that everything you describe could be anxiety related. Changes in bowel movements are such a common response to extreme anxiety. One minute you’re having to go, the next you are constipated. I would say use your logic but when I had HA I completely lost mine so it would be hypocritical of me to say it to you.

---------- Post added at 18:28 ---------- Previous post was at 18:24 ----------

I used to worry so much about my stomach and bowel movements. I needed to go to prove to myself that there was nothing wrong. The more angst you have over that the more constipated you become. That’s how it was for me anyway.

ServerError

24-11-17, 08:59

I'm not someone who needs tests for reassurance, and I wouldn't push for it unless my doctor felt it was necessary. I think the fear is that I just don't know what's going on and I don't want to face test after test and wait after wait.

I do recognise that anxiety could be behind all this. The logic is there. I think what I need to do better is not keep thinking so far ahead.