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View Full Version : I seriously think Im having some sort of breakdown - I can't take this anymore



Wilburis
27-11-17, 11:38
Hi

As my title says, i think Im in a bad way.

Im so nervous, constantly on the toilet, having awful thoughts, can't eat, etc.

My main worry is my children, my 15 year old had a car racing accident last month and she seems to be losing hair. She has a GP appointment tomorrow, but has told me that she will not have a blood test if needed. She had her jabs during the summer holiday, Oh My GOD!, that was a nightmare it took 2 nurses about 20 minutes to do it. She just kept on saying nooooooo. She's been having headaches and eye pain of course, i think the worst.

my 10 year old had a massive cavernous haemangioma when she was a baby, under the corner of her jaw. We didnt treat it, but it went away. Now she wont stop eating, is getting really chubby and I notice that, that side of her face is chubbier. Saw the paed and had an ultrasound - there is nothing there - no evidence of any residual haemangioma, it was normal but i cannot rest until I know why that side of her face is chubbier. Of course, the radiologist mentioned an MRI. So she has planted a seed in my head :blush:

Seriously, it makes me feel sick to look at her.

My son, 8, says he has palpitations when he is at school we've been up to A&E so many times by ambulance as we have Brugada SYndrome in the family. I dont know whether to believe him or whether he just wants to get out of school.

My dog was put down last week.

It was my birthday on Saturday.

Im seriously at breaking point. I mean, what on earth have I done to deserve all of this?

On the brightside - my new obsession is cleaning :D

Mindphaser
27-11-17, 12:42
I mean, what on earth have I done to deserve all of this?

I think everyone of us is asking that question. I suffer from health anxiety for 4 years now, first it was cardiovascular disease, then (thaaat was a hell of a obsession) MS, then i had a year of peace. But it all came back as cancer obsession. First it was testicular cancer (my urologist noticed two microlithis in my left testicle, he said that its nothing to worry about, but you know it how difficult is to believe in such statement), then it was colon cancer (my grandmother died of it, and it was only cancer case in my family) aaaaand now its nodular melanoma. I have stupid bump on my lower back that I believe have for years. Went to dermatologist next day and she was "naaaah, its just hemangioma, nothing to worry about", again, I can't force myself to believe her.

These obessions are driving me crazy, its like a foreign body in my psychic which doesnt let me enjoy life and is draining me out of energy.

Sorry that i told you mostly about myself, i guess you would rather hear some words of encouragement, but i dont have children i have no idea about symptoms that they have. I just wanted to point out that you're not alone. I think the best way in that case is to force your daughter to have this bloodtest. Maybe a reward like some money or smthng else will encourage her to do it. Then, when all will come back normal (which I assume will), you will have to fight your anxiety. I know it's super diffcult, because I'm a the breaking point for two months already and sometimes all I want to is to cry and scream. Try CBT, it's really good, but it requires a lot of work. The less I work on it the worse I feel. I wish there was some miracle cure for our condition but i guess there is not.

But hey, it's not impossible. Try CBT therapy for it.

Wilburis
02-01-18, 16:35
Thank you xx

Mindprison
02-01-18, 21:33
I hope you get some relief from this soon, i've suffered health anxiety on and off for 10 years and i also wonder what the hell I did to deserve this.

Wilburis
12-01-18, 11:19
Hi Mindprison

Thank you for your kind words.

xx