Madgirl12
28-11-17, 00:02
Hi everyone,
This is maybe a bit of a "first world problem" but here goes...
My boyfriend proposed recently. We're both introverted and have anxiety (he is also on the autistic spectrum, and although he enjoys socialising certain elements of it makes him very anxious). I think ideally he would like us to go away and get married somewhere with a couple of witnesses, on the cheap. And I quite like the idea of just doing this as well but people have expectations, ugh.
It's his second marriage. My first but I'm not like most women when it comes to weddings.
I have never been into the idea of a 'wedding'. Walking down an aisle, having people staring at me, the big fancy dress, zillions of photos being taken, the big party afterwards has NEVER appealed. In fact the thought of doing all that makes me want to run for the hills.
I remember having a conversation with a newly-married friend years ago (before I met the soon to be Mr Madgirl), as she was gushing over her wedding photos. I said I really wouldn't like to have a wedding, and have some person constantly taking pictures and making me pose for hours. Her reply?! "Oh don't be silly, you'd loooove it!"
Um. No I'm quite sure I wouldn't. The money, the attention on me, the stress, the things going (or likely to go) wrong. Yikes.
I also loathe the idea of spending ££££ on one day. We got a taste of the craziness surrounding the wedding industry when we went looking for an engagement ring. It was the only thing I wanted that was wedding/marriage related, a nice ring. We couldn't even browse the (ridiculously expensive) rings through the window but a sales assistant jumped out the shop at us, wanting to know what we were looking for! It was really offputting and pushy and caused my partner to have to leave the area for a while, traumatised at the man's behaviour and how expensive the damn things are. In the end, I got a beautiful engagement ring online, and it was pretty cheap too. If only we could get married online! How stressfree and convenient would that be?!
I have a small family and a handful of friends but tbh if I could just do it without anyone knowing it would be great. I don't like being the centre of attention, I don't want bridesmaids or a hen do or a big party. I feel a bit weird though for not wanting all that stuff that I'm apparently supposed to want. So I guess invite family and some friends but do it as cheaply and fuss-free as possible. If that's even possible and anywhere we tried to book would try to pressure us to do/spend more.
Has anyone else gotten married and did it on a very small, cheap scale? I'd like a simple ceremony with no stress (wearing a cute dress but not a huge meringue costing thousands) and probably to just have a meal afterwards, with family and a few friends in attendance. I was thinking we could just go to a pub but apparently places bump their prices up if they know it's a wedding!
Has anyone had an "unwedding"?! :shades:
This is maybe a bit of a "first world problem" but here goes...
My boyfriend proposed recently. We're both introverted and have anxiety (he is also on the autistic spectrum, and although he enjoys socialising certain elements of it makes him very anxious). I think ideally he would like us to go away and get married somewhere with a couple of witnesses, on the cheap. And I quite like the idea of just doing this as well but people have expectations, ugh.
It's his second marriage. My first but I'm not like most women when it comes to weddings.
I have never been into the idea of a 'wedding'. Walking down an aisle, having people staring at me, the big fancy dress, zillions of photos being taken, the big party afterwards has NEVER appealed. In fact the thought of doing all that makes me want to run for the hills.
I remember having a conversation with a newly-married friend years ago (before I met the soon to be Mr Madgirl), as she was gushing over her wedding photos. I said I really wouldn't like to have a wedding, and have some person constantly taking pictures and making me pose for hours. Her reply?! "Oh don't be silly, you'd loooove it!"
Um. No I'm quite sure I wouldn't. The money, the attention on me, the stress, the things going (or likely to go) wrong. Yikes.
I also loathe the idea of spending ££££ on one day. We got a taste of the craziness surrounding the wedding industry when we went looking for an engagement ring. It was the only thing I wanted that was wedding/marriage related, a nice ring. We couldn't even browse the (ridiculously expensive) rings through the window but a sales assistant jumped out the shop at us, wanting to know what we were looking for! It was really offputting and pushy and caused my partner to have to leave the area for a while, traumatised at the man's behaviour and how expensive the damn things are. In the end, I got a beautiful engagement ring online, and it was pretty cheap too. If only we could get married online! How stressfree and convenient would that be?!
I have a small family and a handful of friends but tbh if I could just do it without anyone knowing it would be great. I don't like being the centre of attention, I don't want bridesmaids or a hen do or a big party. I feel a bit weird though for not wanting all that stuff that I'm apparently supposed to want. So I guess invite family and some friends but do it as cheaply and fuss-free as possible. If that's even possible and anywhere we tried to book would try to pressure us to do/spend more.
Has anyone else gotten married and did it on a very small, cheap scale? I'd like a simple ceremony with no stress (wearing a cute dress but not a huge meringue costing thousands) and probably to just have a meal afterwards, with family and a few friends in attendance. I was thinking we could just go to a pub but apparently places bump their prices up if they know it's a wedding!
Has anyone had an "unwedding"?! :shades: