TheTempestuous
30-11-17, 22:59
To introduce myself, I’m a 26-year-old man from Texas, currently living with my roommate (I’d moved out a little over 3 years ago). I work as a janitor over at a local elementary school.
My current symptoms seem to have started at work during the summer, though I’m no stranger to anxiety (convinced myself I’d never be able to sleep again around summer 2014 because it’d get too hot to sleep sometimes, and a few years before that I had a panic attack stemming from a shortness of breath, and his combined with other factors forced me to drop out of college). Now it’s general anxiety about my memory.
This summer we had to deep-clean the school, top to bottom, the whole nine yards. my own assigned task was to shampoo the carpets; this involved using an extraction/vacuum machine in a school that wasn’t well-air conditioned for about an hour or so per room, for eight hours (with an hour’s break in the middle). A suffice to say I was dripping sweat during the day, to the point that it was cascading down my forehead onto the insides of my glasses. I had to do this for two weeks, and afterwards there were some general hangups with staff problems and supply problems and every other issue you could think of.
At the same time, I had a couple of friends who were going through an argument about rent; it ended up with one of them moving out and cutting off all communication with him, and me. We used to hang out at least once a week and play cards, but that hasn’t happened for months now.
Anyway, back to the symptoms. At one point in mid August I was carrying tables from the gym to a side ramp that connects it to the cafeteria; I was also listening to a podcast at the time, since no one was around and I like to have something to listen to when I’m working. I pick up a table while I’m listening to this podcast and I divert my attention away back to the table, and suddenly my mind goes numb; for almost a half minute I forgot where the tables were supposed to go, even though it was just across the gym. I remembered eventually, but it weirded me out.
Further along as autumn approached, I started forgetting names: bands I enjoyed listening to, the name of a local college (Texas A&M, which I kept thinking was A&T for some reason); the words “hourglass”, “inspired”, “proliferate” (in the context of Magic the Gathering), “soiled”, etc. Then about a month ago, I did a big no-no: I consulted with Dr. Google, who told me my symptoms could definitely line up with early-onset Alzheimer’s.
So... this is all I’ve been thinking about the past month or so. I brought up my concerns with my GP, and she ordered a blood test which came out normal save for a slightly elevated glucose (104) and rather low B12 (274). I also found this site, and the legacy of Rutherford Rane, which gave me a bit of relief during my darker moments. I’m also taking 10mg of Lexapro each day, along with 2000 IU of D3 and 1000mcg of B12, all started since the 19th of October. But now it’s to the point where, yesterday (Wednesday), I was watching a video during break and remembered... something that I’d briefly forgotten, then kept watching the video and suddenly couldn’t recall what I’d forgotten. This has put me over the edge: I’m shaky, my muscles are tensing up, and I’m convinced more than ever I’m going to become like my grandmother, who is 82 and has dementia (though it could be a product of her diabetes, I haven’t confirmed that).
I just want to know whether or not I should be alarmed. I’m convinced I’m going to forget everything and descend into what I always feared the most, and the thought has become so consuming I don’t feel like doing anything else. I’ve barely gotten out of bed; all I can think of is the friends I have online, the family I have, who I could forget all about as I slowly sink into a miserable death that I’ll never be cognizant of. My one and only hope is that this is all stemming from some nutritional deficiency and I *know* deep down that Alz at 26 is laughably rare, especially with no family history of EOA... but still.
I know this was a long post but it’s what’s been lurking in the back of my mind for a month. There are other small things I forget: I have to double check trash cans sometimes to make sure I’ve emptied them, stuff like that. But I haven’t gotten lost in my own apartment or questioned who familiar people are or whatnot. But I can only think of how long I have until that becomes a reality. What can I do?
My current symptoms seem to have started at work during the summer, though I’m no stranger to anxiety (convinced myself I’d never be able to sleep again around summer 2014 because it’d get too hot to sleep sometimes, and a few years before that I had a panic attack stemming from a shortness of breath, and his combined with other factors forced me to drop out of college). Now it’s general anxiety about my memory.
This summer we had to deep-clean the school, top to bottom, the whole nine yards. my own assigned task was to shampoo the carpets; this involved using an extraction/vacuum machine in a school that wasn’t well-air conditioned for about an hour or so per room, for eight hours (with an hour’s break in the middle). A suffice to say I was dripping sweat during the day, to the point that it was cascading down my forehead onto the insides of my glasses. I had to do this for two weeks, and afterwards there were some general hangups with staff problems and supply problems and every other issue you could think of.
At the same time, I had a couple of friends who were going through an argument about rent; it ended up with one of them moving out and cutting off all communication with him, and me. We used to hang out at least once a week and play cards, but that hasn’t happened for months now.
Anyway, back to the symptoms. At one point in mid August I was carrying tables from the gym to a side ramp that connects it to the cafeteria; I was also listening to a podcast at the time, since no one was around and I like to have something to listen to when I’m working. I pick up a table while I’m listening to this podcast and I divert my attention away back to the table, and suddenly my mind goes numb; for almost a half minute I forgot where the tables were supposed to go, even though it was just across the gym. I remembered eventually, but it weirded me out.
Further along as autumn approached, I started forgetting names: bands I enjoyed listening to, the name of a local college (Texas A&M, which I kept thinking was A&T for some reason); the words “hourglass”, “inspired”, “proliferate” (in the context of Magic the Gathering), “soiled”, etc. Then about a month ago, I did a big no-no: I consulted with Dr. Google, who told me my symptoms could definitely line up with early-onset Alzheimer’s.
So... this is all I’ve been thinking about the past month or so. I brought up my concerns with my GP, and she ordered a blood test which came out normal save for a slightly elevated glucose (104) and rather low B12 (274). I also found this site, and the legacy of Rutherford Rane, which gave me a bit of relief during my darker moments. I’m also taking 10mg of Lexapro each day, along with 2000 IU of D3 and 1000mcg of B12, all started since the 19th of October. But now it’s to the point where, yesterday (Wednesday), I was watching a video during break and remembered... something that I’d briefly forgotten, then kept watching the video and suddenly couldn’t recall what I’d forgotten. This has put me over the edge: I’m shaky, my muscles are tensing up, and I’m convinced more than ever I’m going to become like my grandmother, who is 82 and has dementia (though it could be a product of her diabetes, I haven’t confirmed that).
I just want to know whether or not I should be alarmed. I’m convinced I’m going to forget everything and descend into what I always feared the most, and the thought has become so consuming I don’t feel like doing anything else. I’ve barely gotten out of bed; all I can think of is the friends I have online, the family I have, who I could forget all about as I slowly sink into a miserable death that I’ll never be cognizant of. My one and only hope is that this is all stemming from some nutritional deficiency and I *know* deep down that Alz at 26 is laughably rare, especially with no family history of EOA... but still.
I know this was a long post but it’s what’s been lurking in the back of my mind for a month. There are other small things I forget: I have to double check trash cans sometimes to make sure I’ve emptied them, stuff like that. But I haven’t gotten lost in my own apartment or questioned who familiar people are or whatnot. But I can only think of how long I have until that becomes a reality. What can I do?