motox&mascara
02-12-17, 02:54
Firstly, i am sorry to start yet another post around this topic, but i just feel like i need to get this all out somewhere as its driving me insane and i didnt want to hijack anyone else's post.
anywho, as the subject says, i am convinced i have MS and am going out of my mind with worry. i will try to keep this short...but it will probably end up longer...
i've managed to avoid latching onto this worry until recently when my brain started putting multiple sensations etc i have had together. chuck in a bit of good ol' doctor google and walah...MS...
I am now completely obsessed that maybe this has been my problem all along and i feel like its only getting worse.
i first latched onto the idea after getting tightness and tingling/numbness in my right forearm and hand, usually while driving, which in turn caused panic attacks (i feel like an early trigger could have been a movie i watched about a lady with MS, didn't phase me at all at the time but i think thats where the idea planted itself in my head). i then started thinking about my dizzy spells, and the head pressure i was having. then over the last week i have noticed more feelings which seem to be in the right side, but sometimes move about, and have been near constant all week:
- head/face pressure
- neck and throat tightness (this is a new one for me)
- feeling like my head weights a tonne
- dizzy spells, like some one is pushing down on my head
- fatique (waking up feeling like i haven't slept - though should add this has gotten a tad better since "shark week" hit)
- buzzing feeling in the body
- muscle twitches in the right leg (either in my ass cheek, or in my calf)
- hot sweats (also semi subsided since "shark week" hit)
- feeling like my bottom lip gets cold (only happened once, but also a new one for me)
- more panic attacks/general all day anxiety and a feeling of doom/something is going to happen
- trouble concentrating and feeling like i muck up when i am typing/texting (words/letters around the wrong way)
I then started thinking about past symptoms i have had, like the need to go toilet often in the absence of an infection, and a patch on my right but cheek that gets super itchy every now and then for no reason at all....think that these were warning signs and now its really starting to kick in.
Some things to note: i have just started back on escitalopram (early days still and didn't get these feelings the first time around), and also started shark week so hormones are all over the show - sorry if tmi...
Those are just some of the physical feelings i am experiencing at the moment. I am so so worried that this whole time it has been MS as i have periods where I am fine then I flare up again. This fear is now starting to ruin me.
I had a clear MRI three years ago but when I spoke with my doctor the other day regarding my concerns, he said that although he is not concerned it is MS, he cannot 100% guarantee its not as MS is a tricky one and everyone is different so will refer me to a neuro with the warning that they may not accept the referral due to the low risk. I tired to contact a private neuro to try and get in faster, but no way can i afford that (and heck to the no can i afford to pay private for an MRI on top of that).
A few weeks before this has all gotten to this point, i was fixated on strokes/anuresyms - but these were more related to the fact i have a bruit in my neck which i am waiting to get an ultrasound on so was genuinely a concern which health anxiety has magnified. Now the stroke fears are still there but the MS fear is taking over.
I have my work do tonight and I was so excited to go, now not so much and i almost want to bail on it (though i know i really should go), I am worried that something will happen to me...I am so scared I have MS, no i am CONVINCED i have MS, and I just dont know what to do...Really all I can do is wait for a referral but that could be a few months away.
I'm 27, healthy as far as i know, and i am a mum, so this worry has me so upset and scared that i will not be around for my son...luckily he is with his dad this weekend but id hate for him to see me like this...my partner has had enough and doesn't think anything is wrong with me, and my family have about had enough to...i don't know what to do, feel really really helpless, alone and scared...i wish i could believe that this is "just" anxiety - but i can't.
Sorry this did end up being long, and thanks if you actually read the whole thing haha! I guess i just wanted to get this all out of my head, and maybe see if anyone out there can offer me any words of encouragement.
I know nobody can say for sure that I do or dont have MS, just looking for some support and a bit of a vent...
TL;DR: convinced i have MS due to constant, all day symptoms that have sprung up more so in the last couple of weeks and feel like they are getting worse - trouble rationalizing if this is all in my head/just anxiety or seriously MS, clear MRI three years ago, doc is aware what is going on but thinks chances of MS are low and is not concerned but will refer me anyway
thanks in advance
A
anywho, as the subject says, i am convinced i have MS and am going out of my mind with worry. i will try to keep this short...but it will probably end up longer...
i've managed to avoid latching onto this worry until recently when my brain started putting multiple sensations etc i have had together. chuck in a bit of good ol' doctor google and walah...MS...
I am now completely obsessed that maybe this has been my problem all along and i feel like its only getting worse.
i first latched onto the idea after getting tightness and tingling/numbness in my right forearm and hand, usually while driving, which in turn caused panic attacks (i feel like an early trigger could have been a movie i watched about a lady with MS, didn't phase me at all at the time but i think thats where the idea planted itself in my head). i then started thinking about my dizzy spells, and the head pressure i was having. then over the last week i have noticed more feelings which seem to be in the right side, but sometimes move about, and have been near constant all week:
- head/face pressure
- neck and throat tightness (this is a new one for me)
- feeling like my head weights a tonne
- dizzy spells, like some one is pushing down on my head
- fatique (waking up feeling like i haven't slept - though should add this has gotten a tad better since "shark week" hit)
- buzzing feeling in the body
- muscle twitches in the right leg (either in my ass cheek, or in my calf)
- hot sweats (also semi subsided since "shark week" hit)
- feeling like my bottom lip gets cold (only happened once, but also a new one for me)
- more panic attacks/general all day anxiety and a feeling of doom/something is going to happen
- trouble concentrating and feeling like i muck up when i am typing/texting (words/letters around the wrong way)
I then started thinking about past symptoms i have had, like the need to go toilet often in the absence of an infection, and a patch on my right but cheek that gets super itchy every now and then for no reason at all....think that these were warning signs and now its really starting to kick in.
Some things to note: i have just started back on escitalopram (early days still and didn't get these feelings the first time around), and also started shark week so hormones are all over the show - sorry if tmi...
Those are just some of the physical feelings i am experiencing at the moment. I am so so worried that this whole time it has been MS as i have periods where I am fine then I flare up again. This fear is now starting to ruin me.
I had a clear MRI three years ago but when I spoke with my doctor the other day regarding my concerns, he said that although he is not concerned it is MS, he cannot 100% guarantee its not as MS is a tricky one and everyone is different so will refer me to a neuro with the warning that they may not accept the referral due to the low risk. I tired to contact a private neuro to try and get in faster, but no way can i afford that (and heck to the no can i afford to pay private for an MRI on top of that).
A few weeks before this has all gotten to this point, i was fixated on strokes/anuresyms - but these were more related to the fact i have a bruit in my neck which i am waiting to get an ultrasound on so was genuinely a concern which health anxiety has magnified. Now the stroke fears are still there but the MS fear is taking over.
I have my work do tonight and I was so excited to go, now not so much and i almost want to bail on it (though i know i really should go), I am worried that something will happen to me...I am so scared I have MS, no i am CONVINCED i have MS, and I just dont know what to do...Really all I can do is wait for a referral but that could be a few months away.
I'm 27, healthy as far as i know, and i am a mum, so this worry has me so upset and scared that i will not be around for my son...luckily he is with his dad this weekend but id hate for him to see me like this...my partner has had enough and doesn't think anything is wrong with me, and my family have about had enough to...i don't know what to do, feel really really helpless, alone and scared...i wish i could believe that this is "just" anxiety - but i can't.
Sorry this did end up being long, and thanks if you actually read the whole thing haha! I guess i just wanted to get this all out of my head, and maybe see if anyone out there can offer me any words of encouragement.
I know nobody can say for sure that I do or dont have MS, just looking for some support and a bit of a vent...
TL;DR: convinced i have MS due to constant, all day symptoms that have sprung up more so in the last couple of weeks and feel like they are getting worse - trouble rationalizing if this is all in my head/just anxiety or seriously MS, clear MRI three years ago, doc is aware what is going on but thinks chances of MS are low and is not concerned but will refer me anyway
thanks in advance
A