hi

[Porl]

hi,

i'm 28 years old. i had mild forms of OCD when i was younger, but it vanished when i was about 18 yo.
recently i've started worrying a LOT. i feel a bit ridiculous because my worry is eternity, basically. the whole question of why are we here, what happens after we die, the whole question of time. i can't stop thinking about it. i sit there and think about time passing right now as i write this. i feel like i'm pretty alone in thinking things like this and just wondered if anyone out there has had a similar experience. i saw a therapist the other day for the first time but it could be a year before i get to see a pyschologist.

when i rationally think about things i know i shouldn't worry, cos i'll never know the answer, but i keep obsessing as if one day i might work it out

[Karen]

Hi Porl

Welcome to the site. Firstly, well done for getting over the OCD you had when you were younger.

We all obsess about things, so while I might not obsess about eternity, I have my own obsessions. You are definitely not alone there, it is just that the subject of obsession might be different.

I think it is good that you have arranged some help for yourself. You will also get a lot of support here.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[vernon]

hiya. welcom to the forum. and no you are not alone by a long way i think the same untill it sends me mad, and no i dont think there is an answer. my Gp refered me for CBT therapy too and i start in spring summer next year thst will be 2 years from when she first regered me. Isnt it bad how we have to wait?. asnyway hope you feel better soon and try to think posotive, take care Vernon

[mico]

Hi Porl

Irrational or obsessive thinking is pretty normal round these parts :D, so don't feel embarrassed.

I've went through plenty of my own thoughts that I couldn't seem to vanish from my head. Maybe not quite the same as yours, but they are usually in the same type of thinking. I've went through thoughts, 24/7 trying to find the answers to them, wrongly thinking that this will somehow help me. Help me do what, I'm not sure, but I thought it would help me in someway.

Over time though, and a lot of thinking as to why I needed to find out the answers, I began to realise that these thoughts we're not helping me in the slightest. During your battles with anxiety, what is often needed is a moment of realisation, or what has often been called on here, 'a lightbulb moment', when you suddenly come to the conclusion that these thoughts are not needed, and more importantly, you believe that. I realised just how much my thoughts were dragging me down, and I then made a conscious decision to replace them with something else. It still wasn't easy though, I had to make a conscious effort not to think of them, to rationalise them, and replace them with less intrusive thoughts, and it took time. But there is a line, were you can, with the help of a 'lightbulb moment' relax a little without these thoughts. It's hard to explain, but when I had all these thoughts going on, it was as if I needed them, you get restless without them, they are sitting there all the time waiting for you to think about them, and you can't relax without them - or at least that's how it feels. Incidentally, they put you much more on edge when you do think about them. I guess the best way to explain it, is that your thoughts are like your comfort blanket, a very irrational comfort blanket yes, but in a very strange way, they are comforting, or maybe more to the point, they are normal - to you anyway. It is like they're your survival mechanism, your instinct. But you and I both know that these thoughts are in no way necesary to your survival, realising this though deep down can be a different thing. In a way, you have to do what I call, 'going against the grain', accept that these thoughts are not helpfull to you, rationalise them and make an effort to stop thinking about them. This is like removing your comfort blanket though, which is why it is like going against the grain, it never really felt natural to me to stop thinking obsessive thought, but I done it, and now feel much better about it. I still get them from time to time, but no where near as bad as I once did, it's no longer a 24/7 obsession, just a blip.

Wow, I've went off on one again haven't I :D

Sorry for the long post.

It's a shame it could be a year to see the psychologist, it sounds like they could help, trying to help you rationalise your thoughts. But feel free to ask all the questions you want in here, everyone's very nice and will make an effort to help you.

Anyway, welcome to the forums :D.

mico

p.s hope even just a little of what I said makes sense, sometimes I get carried away [:I].

[jill]

Hi Porl,

Welcome the the site.

There are lots of nice peoeple here
who will help and support you.

Remember you are not alone.


JILLXX

[nomorepanic]

Hi Porl

Welcome aboard and I hope we can be of some help to you.

I sometimes try to understand that when we die we are gone from this world, but what is this world and how do we know it is real. Weird I know but you aren't alone.

Nicola

[Porl]

thanks for the replies everybody. good long post mico;)

i suppose one of my problems is that i have trouble deciding that my worries are even irrational, i mean they are because it's all inevitable and i can't do anything to stop it and it shouldn't effect my everyday living, but then i think that it happens to us all and so it's something to worry about. i'm not explaining myself very well am i?

i think as soon as i can come to terms with the fact that it's irrational i can start to get back on the mend.

good forum, by the way, and good to meet you all :D

[mico]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">
i suppose one of my problems is that i have trouble deciding that my worries are even irrational...
<div align="right">Originally posted by Porl - 01 December 2004 : 15:21:39</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Yes, that was one of my problems too, in fact for a good while I thought they were completely rational. Don't worry about it, it takes time to understand your thoughts better. You'll get there in the end.

Good Luck

mico

[seh1980]

hello Porl,

Just wanted to say welcome to the site!!

Sarah :D

[Rennie1989]

Welcome to the site!!!!!!

Scooter Girl

if i was hungry would you feed me, if i fell you help me up, if i was crying would you brush away my tears