Ocpd needs reads response asap

[violet33]

Hello, I see that there is an OCD forum but I’m posting about OCPD which is a different condition. This is also NOT ABOUT ME. I’m posting about a friend. I myself have an extremely disabling anxiety issue & I could really use information about OCPD to cope with this friendship which could terminate due to my not being able to cope with friends OCPD behavior. She does keep lists of various types concerning: toxins to her cats, places with bedbugs, she is afraid her cat will jump in flame on stovetop prompting her to never let cats in room if making tea, most things are black & white or clear in her apt bec she has issues with matching, washes the bottom of her shoes & shopping cart after being out due to fear of dirt & germs, refuses to use pens or pencils because she’s afraid something will get stained, she intensely listens to any sounds in hall corridor of her apt building & conversely believes she is many times listened to, obsessed over odors & fears they will affect her health, ive seen her on street, actually scanning left to right, up & down buildings & signs & it was obvious to me she was on the lookout for any perceived threats to her. This could go on but there’s too much to list. I REALLY NEED A RESPONSE TO THIS BECAUSE THIS 30 YEAR OLD FRIENDSHIP IS AT ITS WITS END. I need to figure out a way to cope with this or cut her out of my life for my own sake. As it is I need more Xanax just to be near her or have contact with her as she really exacerbates my anxiety which is something I can’t handle. Thank You

[NervUs]

One of my parents has OCPD and, if a friend was subjecting me to it in a serious way, sorry but bye. OCPD is a complete misery and generally the people who have it are self righteous about it and don't recognize it as flaws, so it is very hard to get them to change or respect boundaries. Has been impossible with my parent!!!

[violet33]

Hi & thank you for responding. Yes I’ve read that the reason OCPD people are self righteous about the issue is because they literally believe they NEED to be doing what they do, so yes it’s impossible to try to reason with them because you cannot convince them they have a problem so they will not admit to it & therefore cannot address or resolve it. I’ve read with OCD that they know they have a problem so it’s easier for them to address it whereas OCPD people don’t believe they have a problem at all & that everything they do is necessary. I’ve distanced myself a lot from this person & am doing so more & more for my own sake. There are times she lashes out at other people verbally because she believes her territory is being infringed on because certain things don’t meet her standards which are unrealistic. It’s become a very toxic relationship.