Another one scared of lymph nodes

[tjb113]

So I have one node on the side of my neck that I am concerned about. I first noticed it probably 4 years ago and I can only feel it when I turn my head to the side and that neck muscle is tight. It's about the size of a pea or jellybean (feels somewhat oblong) and seems fairly solid and I can't really tell if it has grown since I first noticed it. I can not feel a similar node on the left side when I try either, or if I do it seems either smaller or deeper.

I went to see a doctor about it then and they did blood work and felt it and said it was probably just reactive and would go down eventually. I will forget it's there for a time, usually months, but then I'll eventually notice it again and notice it's still there and my panic starts all over until I see the doctor again and they again send me home without really doing anything. I did it again about 6 months ago and they did an ultrasound and said it looked normal then too.

I think the problem is that I know blood tests and ultrasounds are not conclusive and I just keep worrying about it, and each time the worry and fears becomes more and more severe. I've looked at boards like these and such in the past and have found plenty of others with similar fears and palpable nodes but I can't help but still fear the worst. I have, of course, heard of "shotty" lymph nodes and how sometimes a node becomes enflamed and just never goes down in size, but how can I know that's what is happening here? I just feel so helpless and scared because it seems like there's nothing anyone can or will do to help me and the whole "it's probably nothing" response from doctors just isn't doing anything to alleviate my fear.

[CHELLEB1017]

The fact that it has been there for years and you are not sick says sooo much. Also an ultrasound is what most people are offered so rest assured you are just fine! I have two nodes on the back of my neck that are right below the skin and I cant feel others on the opposite side and that is normal!

[O_O]

It sounds very much like a shotty node. It's been there for years and hasn't changed. I'd say that's pretty much the diagnosis of a shotty node in itself! I have one too, on the front of my neck, above all the cartilage.

Blood tests and ultrasounds are pretty conclusive. An ultrasound would show if the lump was suspicious in any way, and if you had lymphoma for four years then your bloods would be all over the place.

Plus, you have no other symptoms. If you'd had lymphoma for years you'd have some other symptoms for sure.

[Fishmanpa]

I first noticed it probably 4 years ago and I can only feel it when I turn my head to the side and that neck muscle is tight.

That alone is all the reassurance you need.

Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.

That's fact!

Positive thoughts

[tjb113]

I definitely hear ya, and these are the things I keep telling myself. It just seems every time I notice the thing I just get more and more panicked about it, even though I've known it's been there for at least 4 years (who knows how long it has been there before I even noticed it).

I don't think it has grown, but I know I really haven't been measuring it or anything so I really only have how it feels to go by. I imagine after years it would have grown noticeably by now if it were. It's just that not knowing that I hate and that keeps my fear so prevalent.

I try to keep telling myself this is just another health anxiety from a long list that I'm freaking myself out about and so far none of those fears in the years I've been dealing with this terrible anxiety have ever come to pass. This one is just so hard though because it's a physical thing I can feel and that I know is there. It definitely does help though to hear others that have similar situations. I am definitely aiming for positive thoughts, sometimes the anxiety just doesn't let you do that though.