Si West13
09-12-17, 09:36
Hi all,
just found this site after looking for a comparison between Diazepam and Quatiapine. Both drugs I'm on and as I'm a bit anxious at the moment with no Diazepam but loads of Quatiapine I thought I'd do some investigation work.
I'm a 52 year old male who had his first panic attack just over 2 years ago now. I'd been suffering with no energy and chest pains for about six months and finally the doctor gave me Sertraline as I begged him for something to boost my energy levels as I was about to go on holiday. A few days into taking Sertraline I started with the panic attacks. I was so scared and had no idea why. I was convinced I wasn't going to be able to get on the plane to go on holiday. I had visions of me clinging onto the taxi roof or freaking out on the plane. My wife was in a right state in tears saying we had spent all that money on a holiday and we had to go. She was also supportive of me. Anyway I discovered if I didn't sleep I didn't have a panic attack so I stayed away for 3 days and with the help of some Diazepam I had for my back I managed to get on the plane and over to Las Vegas where due to the time difference we went straight to bed. I had told myself thats it we're here now everything was going to be OK. I woke in the middle of the night in a right panic. After trying many different apps and other things to try and take my mind off it I gave in and went to the hotel lobby and asked if there was a doctor I could see or I was going to walk out into the road and end it all! I can't remember much after that as I passed out and I was admitted into a pshyc ward on a green 72. 72 hours under constant watch. I was on what I do not know but I was happy and calm in the hospital. I was finally released and the holiday was ruined. When we got home I went straight to the docs and he put me on another head med. This just made me shake violently. So he tried another and another and so on. They all made me suicidal and if I would have carried on taking some of the meds I would have committed suicide for sure. I do have a history of suicide attempts and PTSD after leaving the Army its been hard and I have blocked my memory as I dont want to remember some of the crap I've seen. Anyway 2 years on, loads of different meds and a little help I'm getting there. But the last few days I have been slipping back with a lot of negative thoughts and the battle of what I call good versus evil angels on my shoulders is raging again. I see a shrink every 4 months and I was seeing a CPN who is now off sick so the last 2 months other than a support worker I've been pretty much on my own. I paid for therapy but ran out of money due to not being able to work and I can't do a CBT course due to me having thoughts of suicide. I just feel trapped unable to get help to move on.
At the moment I'm on Propananol 10mgs up to 4 times a day, I usually take 3 but have found if I don't take one before bed I sleep better. Sleep is a big issue for me or rather lack of it. I also take Quetiapine to help me sleep, sometimes it works and I beg the doctors to give me Diazepam but I'm only allowed 14 x 2mg tablets every 2 months. This helps me a great deal but due to a problem with a injury to my back (bomb blast) I sometimes take the Diazepam to help relax my back muscle that have gone into spasm. Thats my other problem a bad back that sometimes brings me to tears the pain is so bad. I'm hooked on Codeine for my back but this doesnt do anything now and they cant give me anything stronger as the next pain killer on the list has a side effect of depression. I really am suffering and need help getting back into some sort of normality.
Spending time with my granddaughter helps as shes so funny and puts a smile on my face. But I can only last so long before my head can't take it when shes crying or I'm just so tired. And I can't pick her up with my back problem.
I hope I'm not rambling too much or making anyone feel worse with my problems.
So thats me. In a bad place in need of help and to quote a song 'the drugs don't work'
just found this site after looking for a comparison between Diazepam and Quatiapine. Both drugs I'm on and as I'm a bit anxious at the moment with no Diazepam but loads of Quatiapine I thought I'd do some investigation work.
I'm a 52 year old male who had his first panic attack just over 2 years ago now. I'd been suffering with no energy and chest pains for about six months and finally the doctor gave me Sertraline as I begged him for something to boost my energy levels as I was about to go on holiday. A few days into taking Sertraline I started with the panic attacks. I was so scared and had no idea why. I was convinced I wasn't going to be able to get on the plane to go on holiday. I had visions of me clinging onto the taxi roof or freaking out on the plane. My wife was in a right state in tears saying we had spent all that money on a holiday and we had to go. She was also supportive of me. Anyway I discovered if I didn't sleep I didn't have a panic attack so I stayed away for 3 days and with the help of some Diazepam I had for my back I managed to get on the plane and over to Las Vegas where due to the time difference we went straight to bed. I had told myself thats it we're here now everything was going to be OK. I woke in the middle of the night in a right panic. After trying many different apps and other things to try and take my mind off it I gave in and went to the hotel lobby and asked if there was a doctor I could see or I was going to walk out into the road and end it all! I can't remember much after that as I passed out and I was admitted into a pshyc ward on a green 72. 72 hours under constant watch. I was on what I do not know but I was happy and calm in the hospital. I was finally released and the holiday was ruined. When we got home I went straight to the docs and he put me on another head med. This just made me shake violently. So he tried another and another and so on. They all made me suicidal and if I would have carried on taking some of the meds I would have committed suicide for sure. I do have a history of suicide attempts and PTSD after leaving the Army its been hard and I have blocked my memory as I dont want to remember some of the crap I've seen. Anyway 2 years on, loads of different meds and a little help I'm getting there. But the last few days I have been slipping back with a lot of negative thoughts and the battle of what I call good versus evil angels on my shoulders is raging again. I see a shrink every 4 months and I was seeing a CPN who is now off sick so the last 2 months other than a support worker I've been pretty much on my own. I paid for therapy but ran out of money due to not being able to work and I can't do a CBT course due to me having thoughts of suicide. I just feel trapped unable to get help to move on.
At the moment I'm on Propananol 10mgs up to 4 times a day, I usually take 3 but have found if I don't take one before bed I sleep better. Sleep is a big issue for me or rather lack of it. I also take Quetiapine to help me sleep, sometimes it works and I beg the doctors to give me Diazepam but I'm only allowed 14 x 2mg tablets every 2 months. This helps me a great deal but due to a problem with a injury to my back (bomb blast) I sometimes take the Diazepam to help relax my back muscle that have gone into spasm. Thats my other problem a bad back that sometimes brings me to tears the pain is so bad. I'm hooked on Codeine for my back but this doesnt do anything now and they cant give me anything stronger as the next pain killer on the list has a side effect of depression. I really am suffering and need help getting back into some sort of normality.
Spending time with my granddaughter helps as shes so funny and puts a smile on my face. But I can only last so long before my head can't take it when shes crying or I'm just so tired. And I can't pick her up with my back problem.
I hope I'm not rambling too much or making anyone feel worse with my problems.
So thats me. In a bad place in need of help and to quote a song 'the drugs don't work'