pleasehelpme4
13-12-17, 20:14
I have recently devolved pocd and even though i am recovering i cant cope with false memories.
To give a little background I have been around kids my whole life and never had any of these worries. i babysat my younger cousins all the time and i never worried about being a p. i have always been attracted to old men and more mature men. I even have sexual fantasies about being submissive and hate being dominant in sexual situations.
my fear is that when i was 13 i thought about kids saying sexual stuff as funny and im scared that it is secretly a sign of me being a monster. I know it didnt arouse me and it doesnt arouse me now (not even a gronial response) after that i never experienced anything like that all of my puberty years. I had no issues with empathy and always dreamed of being a mother. and besides that time at 13 i never thought of anything close to that.
To give a little background I have been around kids my whole life and never had any of these worries. i babysat my younger cousins all the time and i never worried about being a p. i have always been attracted to old men and more mature men. I even have sexual fantasies about being submissive and hate being dominant in sexual situations.
my fear is that when i was 13 i thought about kids saying sexual stuff as funny and im scared that it is secretly a sign of me being a monster. I know it didnt arouse me and it doesnt arouse me now (not even a gronial response) after that i never experienced anything like that all of my puberty years. I had no issues with empathy and always dreamed of being a mother. and besides that time at 13 i never thought of anything close to that.